How To Overcome Self-Doubt & Manifest The Life You Want

Key Takeaways

What the heck is manifesting, Mel Robbins? Well, let me tell you what manifesting isn't. Okay, manifesting is not thinking [music] thoughts and then hoping that they come true. Thoughts become things only when your thoughts inspire you to take the actions to get [music] those things. That's where manifesting comes in. Manifesting is preparing your mind, body, and spirit to help you take the actions to get [music] those things. That's right. I'm going to say that again. Manifesting is like training for getting what you want. Hey, it's Evan Carmichael and this channel was created to help you overcome the number one challenge that is holding you back. A lack of belief in yourself. You watch these videos because you know there's something more inside you too. You've got Michael Jordan level genius at something. So today, let's live your best belief life and learn how to manifest success into your life. Enjoy. Manifesting is socializing your mind, preparing your mind, rehearsing your mind to help you take the steps before you take the steps so that you can get what you want. When you use manifesting properly, what you do is you remove the obstacles of self-doubt, of resistance, of being cautious, of focusing on tiny minutia, of feeling blank and overwhelmed. You remove all that crap and you retrain your mind and you retrain your nervous system and you retrain your spirit to help you get the things that you want in life. And when you manifest properly, what it does is it inspires you to take the actions that lead you to what you want. Now, that sounds like a lot of like, "Okay, Mel, what does that actually mean?" What it means is this. Manifesting is going to help you see, feel, and act your way toward the things that you want. That's what it does. It's so freaking cool. Now let me tell you the difference between manifesting according to science and wishing, wanting, hoping, dreaming. Let's focus on sort of wishing. There's a lot of you that are confusing wishing for something with manifesting. Okay, they're the opposite ends of the spectrum. And so before I kind of explain the two, let me just give you an example so that we can use the example to compare and to contrast. Okay, one big goal and dream that a lot of people have is financial freedom. The ability to take your kids to Disney World, the ability to buy what you want, the ability to put enough money away so that you don't have to worry about money. The ability to buy the things that you need to go on the trips that you want. Financial freedom is something that you deserve in your life. It's something that you can do the work to achieve in your life. And so, let's talk about the goal of financial freedom and the difference between wishing for financial freedom and hoping and dreaming about it versus manifesting and doing the work to go get it. And what's the difference between you wanting and wishing for financial freedom and you manifesting it and using manifestation and the science of it to help you get it? The big difference between wishing for something and using manifesting to help you do the work to go get it is that when you wish that you were financially free, have you ever noticed that the second that you wish for something like, you know, I wish I would win the lottery, you're also present at the same time to the fact that you're lacking money right now. like wishing that you would win the lottery. It doesn't bring up all of this sort of like empowering feelings. What what it does is it reminds you that you're so broke that you need to win the lottery. And that's very different than manifesting. Manifesting is declaring what you want. I am committed to creating financial freedom in my life. And then once you declare what you want, manifesting is about the actions and empowering yourself to go get it. And there's a really big difference between focusing on, you know, and wishing for something which only reminds you that you're lacking it. You know, oh, I I I wish I would meet somebody. That just makes you feel more alone. I wish I could get in shape. That just makes you feel more out of shape. I wish I could win the lottery. That just makes you feel poorer. I wish I didn't have to work for this jerk. That just makes you feel more stuck. Do you feel how wishing for something amplifies what you don't like versus I'm going to manifest and work for more money in my life. I am committed to being in a loving relationship and I'm going to manifest and make it happen. I uh deserve to have a career that I love and I'm going to use manifesting to help me get it. I want to be in incredible shape. I want to do a handstand in yoga. I want to heal my trauma and I'm going to use manifesting to help me achieve those things. That's a big difference. Wishing and hoping makes you present to what you don't have. Manifesting makes you present and feeling empowered about what you want and your ability to go get it. And that highlights the second big difference. When you hope for things, when you wish for things, you are handing the power to somebody else or to outside forces. You are literally giving away your power because hoping and wishing just inherently assumes that somebody else is somehow going to come in and solve the problem. And we all know that that's not happening. Manifesting on the other hand locates and amplifies the power inside of you to do the work to get those things to do the work to change your life. And it's important that you locate the power inside of you because you're the one that's responsible for your dreams. And you're also the person that's in the best position to make those dreams a reality because you have the ability to change the way that you think. You have the ability to change the actions that you take every single day. And when you change the actions that you take and you change the way that you think, you change your entire life. And manifesting is a tool that will help you train your brain and train your nervous system and train your mind, body, and spirit to help you achieve the things that you want. The the the thing that's super important for you to get as a major takeaway from this video is the thoughts alone won't achieve the things that you desire. But if you manifest properly, it will inspire you to take action. And action is what will create the results that you deserve and that you want in your life. That's as simply as I can put it. Rule number two is visualize with Brendan Bashard. How many of you in this room actually know already how to improve your life? You already know where to focus on your life and you probably know what to do, but you haven't done it yet. Be honest. Raise your hands. Okay. About half the room of truth tellers and half the room I I'll just pretend you didn't hear the questions. Because who knows exactly what you need to do to change already, right? People say, "Oh, I want to lose weight, Brendan. I don't know why I haven't lost weight." I'll say, "Do you know how?" "Yes." "Have you gone to the gym? Ah, so people know what to do. It's that they failed to do it. That essence is called common sense. We know what to do. But the failure in the practice comes from a failure sometimes of will, sometimes of circumstance, sometimes of something. But here's what I'd love you to do. If you're failing to implement something you know you should already do, please tune in. If you are failing to implement something you already know you can do, your vision for your life is stuck to today. Your vision is stuck to yesterday. Because if you have a different vision for your life and you know what to do and that vision is compelling, that vision is something that is real and important and exciting for you, guess what? You do it. If it's a fake vision, a half vision, a mimicry vision, a follow the leader vision, not your vision, that's why you're not doing the basics. Right? If you haven't lost the weight, you don't have a vision for your life healthfully yet. You want to lose pounds, but you haven't envisioned a healthy life. So, even the common sensical things, you don't do it. Right? Who has eaten a freaking bag of chips in the last 30 days? A whole bag of chips. Who ate that bag of chips at one sitting? Who ate the bag of chips in one sitting and had to fight not to open the second bag? Okay. Who opened the second egg? Anybody? Okay. Okay. I'm just making sure you're all being real here. [laughter] But let's go. It's not just health. Think about that dream you have. You know, you wanted to write. Like my dream was to be a writer and a coach, right? I want to be a writer and I want to be a life coach or business coach. Okay, cool. That's what I wanted to do. Common sense says, Brendan, sit down and write every day. But I didn't see it yet. I didn't visualize that vision and own that dream yet. It was an idea, but it wasn't a vision in my heart. I didn't see it, feel it, walk through it. I remember I said, "One day I'm going to be comfortable talking to people because this is not how I came out of the womb. I I know for a very long time I talking to people and speaking on a stage, especially when that big. No, thank you, ma'am. not of an interest. And then I said, well, you know what? If I really want to make a difference in the world, I have to communicate better. I really have to get better at that. And so I would lay in bed every morning and I would lay there and I would visualize myself, see a vision of my future on a stage. And I would see myself walking to one side and saying something amazing and they would stand on their feet cuz I said something amazing. And then I went to the other side and I said something equally amazing. And all the amazing just kept coming out and people would stand and they would shout and they would scream and I would see it. And as I was visualizing that vision of myself, guess what? I would be sitting in bed in complete anxiety. I'd be sweating out the armpits. You ever dream of your vision of your future and it makes you sweat. Hey, oh, I am weird. Okay. Are you all here? Say, I'm here. I'm here. You've never seen a vision of your future and it kind of freaked you out. If you haven't, you're not dreaming big enough yet, babe. If something in the future doesn't scare the out of you, forgive my language, you haven't even started dreaming. If something in the future doesn't scare you, like, ooh, that like, see, if I want to be a public speaker and I don't think of a stage that big and I don't sweat, I better think of a bigger stage until I start sweating, right? to allow that discomfort, that vision that's bigger because that's sometimes uh look, we'll talk about willpower, we'll talk about confidence, we'll talk about discipline, but I'm here to tell you a lot of the reason people don't take daily real practical common sense efforts towards their dreams is they don't see the dream yet. They haven't laid awake and thought about it long enough. They thought, wouldn't that be nice? There's a difference between wouldn't that be nice and I own this dream. It is in my heart. It is in my legs. It is in my body. I feel it. I sense it. That's mine. Let's go. You don't look into that. You decide what you want and you see it and you visualize it and you step into it mentally day after day after day. And people say, "Oh, well Brendan, what if it doesn't come true?" I'm like, "Oh, babe, it's highly likely it won't. But who taught you it was about the destination? Didn't we all learn it's about the journey? Turn to the person right shake and say it's about the journey. It's about the journey. One of the reasons common practice isn't common practice is because it is so common. It's mundane efforts every day. Common practice. It's just same thing. It doesn't look like a lot. It doesn't feel like a lot. It's little inches, steps forward, incremental advancement. It's not sexy. We want the destination. And in the day when we don't feel the destination, we're like, uh, you know, I dream of the big stage, but then my first stage was that little room you all saw. And some people go, h, well, that's not it. I said, oh, of course, going to start small. keep trying, keep getting better, learn to talk to people, get out of my weird shell, like, you know, not be so awkward and just try to, you know, get many words out in a row. It It wasn't like, oh, one day I'm going to speak in front of, you know, this and that and arenas. That happened and I could see it and I forced myself to see it, but I would take the common everyday practices because the visions were mine. They were my dreams. Don't think one day you'll have a vision and become so strong. See a little bit of the vision and keep visualizing it. Keep visualizing it. Keep seeing it. Keep visualizing. Every morning for like 3 years, I would lay there and imagine myself talking better. Imagine myself on stage, working the stage, getting away from the podium. Right? You don't see a podium. There's nothing up here. There's not a chair up here at all. I got 38 ft to work here. And then I got another mile [laughter] to lap the room. I'm gonna work it. I'm Oh, I had to see myself walking. That's weird. Okay. Yeah. Walk, Brandon. Move. Get, you know, get. You have to see this stuff. You all with me so far? Don't think the vision has to be complete. The vision has to be tapped every day. Tap into it. See it. Think about it. See it. Think about it. See [music] it. Think about it. And it comes into more formation. Everyone wants their vision, their dream delivered as a complete [music] Netflix package. I'm like, that's not how it goes. You see a little piece of it and you observe it and play it out. See another piece. Observe [music] it. Think it out. Observe it. Think it out. Observe it. Think it out. [music] Rule number three, organize your mind with Sadguru. Everything we as human beings have created [music] on this planet was essentially first created in our minds. All that you see which is human work on this planet. First found expression in the mind then it got manifested in the outside world. The wonderful things that we have done on this planet and the horrible things that we have done on this planet both have come from the human mind. So if we are concerned as to what we create in this world, it's extremely important that first of all we learn to create the right things in our mind, how we keep our minds, if we do not have the power to keep our minds the way we want it, what we create in the world is also going to be very accidental and hazard. So learning to create our minds the way we want is the basis of creating the world the way we want. There is a wonderful story in the yogic law. On a certain day a man took a walk. He went for a long walk accidentally unawares he walked into paradise. Fortunate isn't he? [music] He just took a walk and he landed up in paradise. After this long walk, [music] he felt little tired. So he thought, "Oh, I'm tired. I wish I could rest somewhere." [music] He looked around there. There was a nice tree underneath which there was very cushiony grass, so it was inviting. He [music] went and put his head down there and slept. After a few hours, he woke up. well rested and he thought, "Oh, I'm well [music] rested, but I'm feeling hungry. I wish I had something to eat." And he thought about all the nice things that he ever wanted to eat in his life. And instantly all those things [music] appeared in front of him. You need to understand they have the services like that. Hungry people don't ask questions. [music] Food came and he ate. Stomach became full. Then he thought, "Oh, my stomach is full. I wish I had something [music] to drink. All the nice things that he ever wanted to drink, he thought about it and all of them just appeared in [music] front of him. Drinking people also don't ask questions. So he drank now with a little bit of alcohol in him. You know Charles Darin told you all of you were monkeys. Your tail fell away. Not me. Charles Darin told you that you were all monkeys and your tail fell away and then you became human. Yes, definitely the tail fell away. But the monkey in yoga we always refer to an unestablished mind as markata which means a monkey. Why we are referring to the mind as a monkey is what are the qualities of a monkey? One thing about a monkey is it's unnecessary moment. And another thing about the monkey is if I say you're monkeying somebody, what does it mean? Imitation. Monkey and imitation have become synonymous. So these two essential qualities of a monkey are very much the qualities of an unestablished [music] mind. Unnecessary moment you don't have to learn it from the monkey. You can teach it to the monkey and imitation is full-time job of the mind. So when these two qualities are on a mind is referred to as a monkey. So this monkey became active within him. He just looked around, thought, "What the hell is happening here?" I asked for food, food came. I asked for drink, drink came. There must be ghosts around here. And ghosts came. Oh, the ghosts have come. They're going to surround me and torture me, [music] he thought. Immediately the ghosts surrounded him and started torturing him. Then he started screaming in pain and said, "Oh, they're going to kill me." And he died. Just now he said he he's a fortunate being. The problem is he was sitting under a culp of ra or a wishing tree. He asked for food, food came. He asked for drink, drink came. He asked for ghost, ghost came. He asked for torture, torture came. He asked for death, death happened. Now don't go looking for these kalpa rukas in the forest. You can barely find a tree. These days a wellestablished mind, a mind which is in a state of samyukti [music] is referred to as a kalpavix. If you organize your mind to a certain level of organization, it in turn organizes the whole system. your body, your emotion, your energies, everything gets organized in the direction. Once all these four dimensions of you, your physical body, your mind, your emotion and the fundamental life energies are organized in one direction. Once you are like this, anything that you wish happens without even lifting a little finger. Actually, it would help to assist it with activity. But even without doing any activity, you can still manifest what you want if you organize these four dimensions in one direction and keep it unwavering in that direction for a certain period of time. Right now the problem with your mind is every moment it is changing its direction. It is like you want to travel somewhere and every two steps if you keep changing your direction the question of you reaching the destination is very remote unless it happens by chance. So organizing our minds and in turn organizing the whole system and these four basic dimensions of who you are right now in one direction. If you do this you are a kalpa yourself. Anything that you wish will happen. But right now, if you look at your lives, everything that you have wished for till now, if it happens, you're finished. Everything and everybody that you have desired for, if all of that lands up in your house today, could you live with that? Once we're empowered like this, it's very important that our physical action, emotional action, mental action and energy actions are controlled and properly directed. If it is not so, we become destructive, self-destructive. Right now, that is our problem. The technology which is supposed to make our life beautiful and easy has become the source of all the problem that we are destroying the very basis of our life which is the planet. So what should have been a boon, we are making a curse out of it. What has brought incredible levels of comfort and convenience to us in the last 100 years or so has also become a threat to our life simply because we are not conscious action. We are in a compulsive state of action. So, organizing our minds fundamentally means moving from a compulsive state of activity to a conscious state of activity. Also, to make sure you're actually taking action after watching this video, I've designed a special free worksheet just for this video. The worksheet will highlight all of the lessons learned in this video, as well as pull out our three favorite learnings and quotes that will inspire you to actually do something. The worksheet will also give you space to write down what your key takeaways are and your specific plan of action to make sure you're getting results. If you want the worksheet designed specifically for this video absolutely for free, there's a link in the description below. Go click on it and start building the momentum in your life and your business. I'll see you there. Rule number four, create from the quantum field with Dr. Joe Despensza. When we create from three-dimensional reality, we're creating from lack and separation. In other words, you're driving down the road and you see someone driving a car that all of a sudden you realize that you don't have. The moment you become aware that that person has that car and you don't have it, you're in lack of having it. Right? So, what the brain naturally does is it naturally creates you driving that car and you have an image of yourself driving that car and you start identifying, wow, that would be a greater experience for me to have. The problem is the distance between the thought of what you want and the experience of actually happening it happening for most people is the concept called time right between cause and effect. Right? So some people develop the ability to manage themselves and manage their life. They develop certain skills and they can pay for it and they can get it very quickly. The problem is when the novelty of that experience wears off, you know, the car and they're no longer identifying with that and the and the feeling of emptiness and lack comes back, they need to find something else. They got to go find something else. And so there's this game that goes on where you never have enough, right? And that's the lack game, right? So then if you think about people uh having the things they want in their life, when they create from lack and separation, it's the experience in three-dimensional reality that produces the emotion. And the emotion is saying, "Let's feel and experience this thing that you've been in lack and separation from." And that emotion then takes away the lack or separation. But you've worked really hard to get it. Okay. Nothing wrong with that. [sighs and gasps] Is there another way to do it? Yes. Okay. So, the person who's living in lack is waiting for their wealth to feel abundant. They're waiting for their success to feel empowered. They're waiting for their healing to feel gratitude. They're waiting for their new relationship to feel love. They're waiting for their mystical experience to feel awe. That's the Newtonian model of reality of cause and effect. You know, waiting for that event to happen to take away this separation or lack. Nothing wrong with it. It's the way most people create. But what we've discovered is actually something else. The moment you feel gratitude, your healing begins. The moment you feel worthy and abundant, you're generating wealth. The moment you're empowered, you are moving towards your success. The moment you're in love with yourself and you're in love with life, you'll create an equal. The moment you are in awe of life, you're going to have a mystical experience. And so that's causing an effect, right? So then if you can teach people then how to create instead of from lack or separation but create from wholeness and create from what we call the quantum field instead of three-dimensional reality. What's the difference? Okay so the way you first of all it takes knowledge. Okay the quantum field is an invisible field of energy that exists beyond our senses. You can't see it, you can't smell it. You can't taste it, you can't hear it, you can't feel it. It exists beyond our experience of threedimensional reality. Would this be in the our mind's consciousness or would this be in a different space? Okay, let's let's let's look at that. So, the answer to the question is how much of your waking day do you put your attention on matter, on the material world, and how much of your waking day are you aware of energy and frequency? For most people, they're unaware of the quantum field. And if you're unaware of it, it doesn't exist for you. Just like you have a nose, but if you're unaware of it, it doesn't exist for you. The moment you become aware of it, exists. Well, the quantum field, you can ask, you could study all kinds of science and they'll tell you there is this invisible field of frequency and energy that exists beyond the senses that tend to connect everything physical and material. In fact, everything physical and material is connected to this field. Okay? So, how do you get there? Right? How do you get there? How do you get there? How do [laughter] you get there? So we discovered that when you take all of your attention off your body and you are not paying attention to your emotions, your drives, your habits, if you take all of your attention off of every element in your environment, your cell phone, your tablet, your computer, uh your your car, your whatever it is, your bed, take away take your attention away from everything, every place that you live, where you sleep, where you work, work and you're not thinking about time. You're not thinking about your schedule, where you need to be or what happened yesterday. You can relax into the present moment. There there tends to be a dramatic change in the way the brain functions when people do this properly. We call it getting beyond yourself, but in a sense, you're dissociating from your three-dimensional reality. Why? Because if you're thinking about anything in your three-dimensional reality, that's where your attention is and that's where your energy is. Okay? So we kind of figured out this formula when people really become nobody, no one, no thing, nowhere and no time. We are pretty much all of a sudden outside the constraints of the Newtonian world of got to do something to get an outcome. And if you can teach people how to linger there without a name, without a face, without a profession, without a family, without a culture, without a past, without a disease, you teach them how to be in this place we call the unknown, right? And you teach them that from that place that invisible field is where everything material comes from. And if they could create coherence in their brain, you need a strong signal in the brain. The more coherent the brain, the more stronger the signal. What do you mean a strong signal? Okay, let's see how I could say this. [laughter] When most people we look at when we look at brains in real time and we're looking at people's how their how their mind is working when you're under stress. Okay, stress is created by not being able to predict something that's going to happen in your life. Uh the perception that something's going to get worse or you can't control something, right? So when that occurs, we switch on that primitive nervous system called the fight orflight nervous system and the brain goes into this very alarm state called high beta. That means pay attention to the outer world. There's danger out there. So, it's But if it's not a predator and it's traffic or your coworker or your ex, this is where it gets to be a problem cuz it becomes very maladaptive. Right? [snorts] So, when we're in that state and the brain is that in that aroused state, we try to control and predict everything. So, every person, every object, every thing, every place, uh every even your body has a neurological network in your brain, right? So as the arousal happens, we start shifting our attention to all these elements. And like a lightning storm in the clouds, the brain starts firing very very incoherently. And when the brain's incoherent, we're incoherent. That's not a strong signal. That's not there's that's a static unaware. That's disconnection. There is no signal, right? So when we're in that state, we're always really looking for the worst case scenario of what's going to happen because if you prepare for the worst, anything less happens, a better chance of survival, right? So, so in this kind of aroused state, as we shift our attention to each one of these elements that are known in our environment, the brain starts compartmentalizing and firing out of order and and and that is what creates what's called autonomic dysregulation. That's causes the brain and body to get really out of balance, right? So, in that state, we're we're overfocused. You know, when you're stressed, you're overfocused on something. You can't stop thinking about it. Our research shows that when you do that, you actually make your brain worse because you're analyzing your problems within some disturbing emotion. And that emotion is driving you further out of balance. You're actually knocking your brain and body out of balance by thought alone. And you're driving it into these more aroused states. Right? For someone that's been living like that for decades, that's their base state. How do they even realize how to get out of that? They don't. Usually, it takes crisis, right? It takes trauma, extreme breakdown. Yeah. Breakdown. A loss, a death, a breakup, a divorce, a near bankruptcy, whatever it is, a disease, a diagnosis, whatever. Something where you just can't go on business as usual. Now, it's time to really start looking, right? They have to wake up. So, so let's get back to the concept of abundance here because you need a strong signal in this field, right? So then if you can teach people to do the exact opposite, go from putting all of their attention on everything physical and material in the world of separation and instead of narrowing their focus on something material, ask them to broaden their focus and put it on nothing. Now, I know that sounds kind of crazy, but when you put your attention on space and you divert your attention, the act of sensing without thinking actually starts to slow the brain waves down. Not only slow it down, but all of a sudden cause the brain to start re reintegrating, starts to synchronize, right? And so, you see different compartments of the brain that were firing out of order start to resonate. They start to communicate. They're they're they're they're all of a sudden synchronizing. And what sinks in the brain kind of links in the brain. So when a person has their whole entire brain firing in rhythm, that's a very strong signal that you can send out into the field. So when that signal is strong in that position, what can you create from that space? Okay. So but that's only one element. Okay. So then the clear intention tends to be a very important element that we have to have to get down and the more coherent the brain, the more clearer the signal for that intention. So with intention and attention, we could actually make thought more real than anything else. Now, what is that? You're saying, "What would it be like to be wealthy? What would it be like to be abundant? What would it like to have all my needs met? What would it be like to have more than I need? What would I do if I had everything I ever wanted?" The answer always is the same. You start giving stuff away. Because if an abundant person is truly abundant, why would they hold on? They would say, "There's I'm not in lack. There's more for everybody." Okay. Turns out though that the signal sent out isn't enough. You got to have to draw the experience back to you. And so send the signal out to you know coherent brain financial freedom audience all these different things. Right. Right. Right. Whatever that is for you. Whatever that is for you. Putting that out there with your signal with the intention and the attention. Right. And then how do you draw? So in the physical world in the physical world you got to go get it. You got to do something. This is the plane of demonstration. You got to go get it. And when you you're in lack until it occurs, right? So what I'm hearing you say, there's a way to not chase but attract. All right. So if you're creating from the field instead of from matter, right? There's a very strong possibility that you'll shorten the distance between the thought of what you want and the experience of having it. And when there's a vibrational match between your energy and that future that you want to experience, now if you're creating from the field, you actually don't go anywhere to get it. you actually draw to you. Rule number five, have the right thoughts with Dean Graiosce. I have a message that I'm going to tell through a story with my daughter. So, last weekend, and yes, this has to do with success, has to do with happiness. When I say success, I want you to have a full rounded uh uh [clears throat] definition of success. Money without happiness, money without health, health without money, all of it's a pain in the ass unless you have all of it. So why not work on the core? Work on the foundation. Like I always say, all success starts here cuz all success starts with your habits and your values. Before the magic money machines, before the businesses, before the grit, before the grind, you need the habits. So let me tell you this story. Uh, one of the greatest things ever taught, I believe, is what Earl Nightingale uh so simply put in the strangest secret that we are nothing more than the sum total of our thoughts. Now, we know that, we hear it, you've heard me share it, uh you've read about it, but how does it actually stick in your life? How does it work in your life? Are you aware that you are nothing more than the total of your thoughts? You will become the person that follows or uh obeys the thoughts that you have. If you have thoughts of scarcity, have thoughts of of getting taken advantage of, get thoughts of being the victim, get thoughts of uh have thoughts of being an an entrepreneur who can handle anything, an entrepreneur who could just go to the the ends of the earth and do what it takes. I mean, everything is everything starts with a thought. But let me just share this with you. My daughter and my son and I uh went to Utah last weekend fishing. Uh well, just fishing was one of the things we did. We just wanted to hang out, get out of the heat and still hot here in Arizona. So, we wanted to get out. So, we jump on a plane and we go to uh Park City, Utah, having an amazing time. We go fishing. We learn how to fly. I hire some coaches to help my kids to get better. Uh dear friends actually helping. Um we did outdoor sports. We went bowling. We did all this great stuff. Long story short, my daughter is 11. And whether you're a parent or not, I'm just telling you, I had no idea that girl drama starts at about 10:00. It's like the plane lifts off the ground at 10:00 and girl drama starts. Girls are getting in clicks. Girls are making fun of other girls. It's and and I'm not saying that girls like boys are bad, but boys are kind of want off to play sports at this age and and and Fortnite. Uh anyway, the drama starts. So my daughter is very um like I was she she needs everybody to like her to feel good about herself. Now I work on that all the time telling her, you know, she needs her own self worth, but she's 11 and we're working on it. So long story short, we're coming back on this Sunday and she wants to come back to go to a yoga class with three of her friends that she's kind of on the edge with. They're they're kind of clicky, great girls, amazing girls, but that's just the way it is. doesn't make any kids better. My daughter's not any better than any of those other girls. But she wanted to really go and it was important to her. And she said, "Dad, I really want to go to this yoga class and then lunch after and I can bond with these girls. It'll just make it so much easier in school cuz I really like them." And one of them she felt bad for cuz she's moving and she really likes her. All this stuff. So, I cut the trip short. I said, "Okay, Bri, you want to go back for that? I understand. I was your age once." Now, we changed the flight to get there with an hour's uh cushion. Yeah, I cut things kind of close, but we had an hour, hour and a half cushion. We get to the airport, the flight's delayed for an hour. Uh, we didn't fly private. We fly commercial. We just had fun. We went up there, but we were an hour late. So, now we're an hour late. And did you ever fly into planes? They're not super small, not super big, but they they can't handle the the the big roll-on bags. So, you got to leave them in the jetway and then they have to un you know, you basically have to check the bag. So, we had to check the bag. And all of a sudden, I'm looking at time and we're going to land at about the exact time this yoga class starts. And it was so important to my daughter. I get it. And you might be say, "Ah, it was a dumb yoga class." No, it was more to that 11-year-old girl trying to, you know, do the right thing. It was a big deal to her. So, all of a sudden, now, why am I telling you this whole story? Cuz I watched my daughter say, "Dad, we're not going to make it. Dad, we're we're going to be late." And I watched the stress and I watched the feeling in her belly when she was telling herself, "We weren't going to make it. We had not yet gotten there late. We had not yet missed the appointment. But the story, her thoughts were already there. The story she was telling herself is that we were missing it. And I watched her mannerisms change. I watched her physiology change. I watched her mood change. She was sad. She was thinking of all these things and I'll miss the class and then Monday at school will be uncomfortable again because I didn't fix it with the one friend. all of those thoughts, one thing, a delay in the flight triggered 15 other thoughts. She wasn't even my regular daughter that she was sitting there sad. So, we're going and I said, here's what I told her. I said, Bri, now kids don't want lessons all the time. Uh, as adults, we want them because we want to go faster. But I said, Bri, wouldn't it be better to think that we're going to make it no matter what, we're going to make it there on time? Because whether we make it there on time, I'd rather have the better thought on the way than being sad. So in my head, all I kept saying is however we're going to do it, we're going to make it. The PL flight's going to go a little quicker. We're going to get the bags quicker than we thought. I'll drive quicker. We'll get there. We'll get And I was fine. And I do this all the time, but I've had 50 years of being on this earth to figure it out. She's 11. So long story short, we get there on time. We got there 10 minutes early. Drop her off. She got a big smile on her face, but she was stressed for 2 hours. The poor thing. So, I waited till the next day and I said, "Bri, really simple. We could have been late, but we weren't. But either we were late or not, wouldn't it have been better for your heart, for your health, for your happiness, for your the end of a great trip in Utah with your dad and your brother? Wouldn't it have been great to say, you know what? We're going to make it. I'm going to be there in time. No big deal. I'm going to get there and I'm going to bond with my friends. It's going to be amazing. and Monday in school will be great. I said, "What is that? What happened?" She goes, "Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Monday went, you know," she ended up telling me afterwards that Monday went great because they bonded. I said, "Wouldn't it have been better to tell yourself that story over and over and you would have had a great plane ride. You wouldn't had stress. You wouldn't have had worry." And she's like, "Wow, Dad, that's the first time it ever I really understand what you say about being the witness of your thoughts or looking at your thoughts or judge your thoughts." So, let me ask you, what thoughts could you change right now? Listen, I'll be completely transparent. My ex-wife, who I'm dear friends with, and and um yeah, divorce sucks, for lack of a better word, but we've done an amazing job at it. And the reason I'm bringing that up is because I watch her sometimes go down the path of having thoughts that'll drive her nuts, like, why didn't it work out in the past? Why couldn't have we done done something different? Or how come this is happening now? And I always tell her, I'm like, and I can watch her come right back. She'll she'll get in a grumpy mood. I'll drop the kids off. She like, "Hey, short with me." And I know she's letting thoughts get to her, which we all do. And then I remind her, she changes her thoughts. She's a completely different person. I remember listening to Wayne Dyer when he got diagnosed with leukemia. That's not what he passed away of, but when he died of pass when he got diagnosed with leukemia, he said he remembers telling himself, "Oh my god, I'm sick. I have leukemia. I'm not going to make it." He felt like he said, "Wait a minute. I'm I have leukemia either way. The end result's going to be the same either way. So, I'm just going to think I'm going to beat it. I'm going to be healthy. I'm going to be the example for leukemia victims or or people with that disease. He changed it. And all of a sudden, he was the happiest GUY YOU EVER SAW WITH leukemia only because he changed one thing. His thoughts. So, back to you. What thoughts are you having right now that don't serve you? They don't serve your bigger future. Judge them. Analyze them. They are not you. There's two of us in there. Remember, you have double conversations all the time. You're not skitso. we have two conversations. You know, you could be walking in a room while simultaneously you're saying, "Wow, why did they wear that?" Or or, "Wow, this is a weird color uh uh uh painting that they put up on the wall." Like, you know, we have two thoughts always going on our head. So, with those two thoughts, divide one to analyze your thoughts and be like, "Why the hell would you think that? Why would you think we're going to be late, miss it, my friends aren't going to like me?" When you can think, "I'm going to be on time and my friends are going to love me." One makes you feel happy, one makes you feel like. One can say, "I learned from a bad relationship and my next one's going to be amazing." Or, "My past relationship, I screwed up. I suck and I'm always going to be miserable." One makes you happy, one makes you sad. Wayne Dyer could have said, "I have leukemia. This sucks. I'm going to be sick. I'm going to die." Or, "I have leukemia. I'm going to beat it and I'm going to still tr uh uh inspire the world." One makes you sad, one makes you happy, one makes you [clears throat] empowered, one takes away your power. Which one do you want? I'm asking you right now to think about this. What are the stinking thoughts that you're having in your head that are holding you back, causing you pain, making you suffer, and not allowing you go to the next level? Analyze your thoughts this week more than ever before in your life. Rule number six is be aligned with feeling good with Gabby Bernstein. Where are we going wrong with manifesting? Like what are the biggest mistakes, the myths, the things that are not really the right places? Good question. Well, first of all, I think that the reason that you're feeling that way about this book is because it's actually not a book about manifesting. It's a book about feeling good. And the key to manifesting and the key to being a super attractor is to be aligned with feeling good. And that doesn't mean that we feel good all the time, but our our deepest desire isn't to get that thing to feel good enough and feel good. It's to feel good so that we can allow whatever we need and whatever is of the highest good to come into our life. And that's where I think some of the wobbliness maybe shows up when it comes to manifesting is this idea that I can think it and it will be. And that's true. You know, you can you can think and think and think to the point of belief and then that can actually come into form. But more importantly, we need to really make it our commitment and our devotion to feel good. And that may mean looking at some of our shadows. That may mean having the willingness to change our mind all throughout the day. And that may mean being more committed to our well-being and our personal growth than we ever had before, but in the pursuit of feeling good, having a good life, and being a super attractor. Yeah. Amazing. So, it actually starts with us. And what I'm hearing you say is just that we know that it's not about getting that thing. But the challenge is that somehow in that pursuit, it always becomes about that. Even if that thing is something elusive like a title or a status or you know being on a list or whatever it may be like it ends up being that way. How did you you said something really interesting to me when you walked in you and I was congratulating you because the book's already a New York Times uh bestseller right the book's been number one on the list which is unbelievable. Oh it's been like three five and six three weeks in a row or number one on Amazon. Yeah. Number one on Amazon. Right. Right. Right. It's been so it's got all that but and I said that to you and I congratulated you and I showed you a picture that you posted. I was like this is amazing and you said something really interesting to me. Yeah. Say say what you said. I pretty much said that the reason that it's it's on these lists is because I don't give a Like I I stopped caring. All I cared about with this book, this is my seventh book and all I cared about with this book cuz in many of my other books I really cared about lists and things like that but with this book and that didn't mean that there wasn't major service behind them and the primary intention being to serve because if that wasn't the case they wouldn't have had success. But my agenda was different at times and you know it's more in the the the marketing of it. And this time around I was like I'm going to show up and do my part but I'm just going to have fun. I'm going to feel good. I'm going to relax and I'm not going to think about it. You know the day that my publishers called me and said the book is on the list. I didn't even realize it was Wednesday which is the day I could have cared less. I wasn't thinking about it at all. I didn't even recognize the day it was. And that's been happening every week. Every Wednesday I keep getting these text messages. Oh it's number five. It's number six. And I'm like, "Oh, yeah. It's Wednesday. [laughter] Oh, okay. Cool." You know, and I'm celebrating it, but I'm celebrating it mainly from the perspective like like today these these, you know, this acknowledgement of the these lists and things really just represent that it's helping people. Yes. Exactly. That's it. Which I think is which I think is such an important thing to celebrate. That's right. because we're celebrating the fact that a book about being a super attractor is growing as opposed to a book about something negative or something. There is that definitely and I also am seeing like I wrote this book because I wanted to feel good. And so I'm seeing that I knew that if it made me feel good, which it did in multiple cases where even returned to it on my own to read it, I knew that if it was making me feel good that it was definitely going to make the reader feel good. And that's that's today I was at lunch and a woman, you know, grabbed me and was like, "Look, I just have the audio book right now and I'm listening to you right now." And I was like, "Awesome." And she said, "It's making me feel so good." I said, "Well, then I've done my job." Mhm. I love that. That's awesome. Now, you've you've talked a lot about how, you know, we're living at a time when there's a lot of competition. There's a lot of uh comparing. There's a lot of, you know, me versus this or competitors and peers and all that kind of stuff. And but in this book, you know, and a lot of that makes us feel like what I'm hearing you say, you're like, "Oh, I'm having fun. Like, I'm enjoying it." But a lot of us turn to being strict with ourselves, whereas you take an approach of saying, "Let's be compassionate with ourselves." Tell me about that almost paradox cuz we almost feel like, okay, well, if I'm competing, I need to get more organized and more strict and more whereas you're actually saying, "No, be more compassionate." Yeah. One of the biggest blocks to being a superattractor is the comparison and the belief that there's not enough to go around. And I actually wrote a whole chapter in the book called there's more than enough to go around. Love that. And it's for that person that's like the pusher that I identify in the book. The person that's like if I don't do it, it won't happen. And everybody around me is better than me or I'm not or I'm better than everybody else. And that separation and that judgment, that self-attack and all the ways that we feel unworthy. And so when we start to identify the ways that we're pushing and controlling, we can begin to unpack that. And I guide the reader in the book to unpack that behavior and to recognize how much it's blocking someone from from allowing and letting what they desire to come into their life. Because the real secret is to feel good. The secret is to love where you are in the moment and not compare yourself to where you think you should be. Because once you start just being psyched about what is, more of what you desire comes to you. And I I can stand behind that wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedly. And rule number seven, the last one before some very special bonus clips is create a new pattern with Louis Hous