Keep Going And Believe in Yourself!

Key Takeaways

I want greatness for you and I'm willing to bet that everyone in your life that loves you wants the same thing they want to see you make your dreams come true they hunger for it to see you win the way that you hunger for it yourself but what they know that you may not yet be willing to accept is that is rabindranath tagore said you can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water if you're gonna make those things come true in your life if you're going to make that Vision that you have a reality you've ultimately got to go out into the cold and unforgiving water you've got to be willing to face the swells you've got to be willing to face the most terrifying thing of all the unknown it isn't that the sea is dangerous that scares people it's that you can't see what's beneath the surface and that is going to be the challenge that you're going to have to face that is going to have to be the fear that you stare directly into the eye is the truth is you don't know what you're capable of the truth is you don't know if you're going to succeed the absolute truth is you may fail you may get swallowed by the darkness but at the end of the day that's going to be your choice because whether or not you fail does not mean you have to be consumed by that failure you can get back up and keep going but that is a choice you have to make that's the fortitude you have to develop within and it is a development process it is something that you do you choose to be stronger than the sea you choose to be stronger than the unknown and you choose to be brave enough to go out despite the unknown and try to conquer something to try to build something in your life to do the things that other people think cannot be done it is in facing that fear that you win the battle understand finding the island making it to the new world that's not the point the point is setting out the point is being willing to get an adini and to go off into the sea the point is being willing to face the challenge if you can do that regardless of what comes you've already won because you've proven something to yourself that you're willing to try hey it's Evan Carmichael and I make these videos because in my first business I quit on my business partner I was making 300 bucks a month and I didn't have the motivation to keep going and the thing that got me through was studying the stories of entrepreneurs who've had massive success and I hope that in sharing these stories with you you find a motivation to keep going and if I'm being honest I still need to source for myself today too so today let's learn from some of the best and pick up how to keep going and believe in yourself enjoy rule number two is never doubt yourself with Dean graziosi I want my children to be richer smarter better looking happier joyful I want them to be thousand times better than me I want them to go oh Dean was 1.0 his kids are 4.0 his grandchildren are 6.0 oh my God by the time we get to my great grandchild I want them to make fun of what a pathetic weakling loser I was like that's what I hope right if we want that for them so much and if you're not a parent it's okay you'll like you you could still feel those same emotions you can understand what we're talking about here if we want them for want that for them then why the hell don't we deserve it for us right like how do we Pierce This Heart how do we Pierce this self-doubt how do we pierce the thinking that we have that God is here our best thinking got us right here it makes another level of thinking another level of passion another level of feeling uncomfortable and being disturbed with where you are to move it's the spaceship it takes all the energy to get it like a hundred feet off the ground once it's out of the atmosphere it hits a little button and goes fast but it takes all that energy get off the ground so my goal in some of my trainings each month is to give you that burst of energy to get done today and go screw it I'm freaking doing this like nothing is going to stop me and I know so many of you are massively successful this isn't about oh you're pathetic and this it's about where you are you know there's another level that's all it is and it doesn't mean it's never enough listen God didn't put us on this Earth to settle I don't think I think at the end of our life if we have the opportunity to talk to our maker he's not going to say I'm so glad you found your groove at 24 years old and kind of settled for another 70 years like that's not what he wants that's not what we're designed for I always say Dale Carnegie's quote my favorite one by him he said the human the biggest plight of the human race is knowing you have more potential and you're not using it like you say that you're like yeah yes right so how do we trick ourselves into knowing that we deserve this we need we deserve to take uncomfortable action to fail forward and to figure it out because if you think about that how are we with I know this is far away from business and stuff but how are we with kind of our inner peace like making amends with ourselves we help our kids solve problems we help our kids not have regrets we help our kids not have enemies or let go of pain like we we I maybe I'm wrong but like we wherever we are we want what's best for them we know you're studying personal growth you're studying letting go you're studying focusing on Solutions you're doing all this well simultaneously internally you might be fighting with yourself and still have that person that you need to forgive or forgive yourself for the mistakes in the past or forgive yourself for procrastinating or forgive yourself to that you were scared up to this point or forgive yourself that you screwed up the relationship it was you we want our kids to forgive themselves we want them to forgive others we want them to work on being grateful and having gratitude and simultaneously we wake up sometimes and our guts are spinning while we're helping someone else is it true let me know in the chat if anything I'm saying here today is resonating right so if that's the case why are we waiting to fix this in the Next Generation you got a lot of years left on this Earth let's fix it with us remember like just think this this is what I try to do all the time is If I Stay this way my kids are going to be that way I literally punish myself that way because if I stay this way they're gonna be this way there's there's nothing I can do to change it right another thing I wrote down is like who are we when no one's watching like we think we can put this facade on in front of our children right it could be children it could be spouse it could be partner it could be friends but we get to put this face on in front of other people right but then who are we when no one's around because I still believe our kids become who we are when no one's around I think kids are the biggest like lie detector detector excuse my language like they just feel who you are and they become it okay who in here has ever had something that you do that you're like oh this is mine or it's adult or it's kind of quirky I never want my kids to see this one thing I've done and then if you've had kids they're a certain age and they do that exact thing that you think you protected them from it their whole entire life I see a laughing James like like where did that come from I didn't teach you that it's like it's intuitive so who are we when no one's watching is even important right and that leads to our values doesn't it right what we do when people aren't watching is just that's our character we could say our characters one thing we can pretend our values are one thing when no one's watching the things you do that's who you are but you know what the most congruent thing in the history of the world is is being the same human when no one's watching and when everyone's watching that's one of the things I strive for more than anything rule number three keep going with Mel Robbins when life suddenly changes and you feel like you have lost control and you start to feel stuck and Powerless how do you take control when you don't know where your life or the world or this moment is going and here's the number one thing I want you to know you don't need to know where this moment or where the world is going you just need to know where you are going next and one of the things that has happened uh certainly in the pandemic but it always happens when there's any kind of Reckoning in your life is that when you have something suddenly happen and your life is fundamentally changed whether it's a death or somebody says I don't love you anymore or you're fired or you find yourself uh with a scary Health diagnosis there is a line in the sand there is a life before that happened and then a life after that moment happened and that line in the sand that Reckoning that happens and it happens for all of us whether it's happening for you right now or it has happened in the past I'm telling you there is a gift inside of this even the darkest moments because every single Sudden Change in your life that makes you feel like you've lost control and you no longer know where you're going it's like hitting the giant pause button and if you lean into the moment there is a chance for tremendous wisdom and growth there are things that you can do right now in order to take control of where you're going of what you're thinking about and you can start to take this moment of change and you can use it to be able to take and make an intentional pivot in the direction that is meant for you next and one of the things I want to say about this moment is look if you're losing loved ones you are terrified this has made you lose your job you feel like you're in that moment where everything you know you're falling off a cliff you're trying to pack a parachute you're grieving and so you got to give yourself space to grieve the losses that you're feeling and when you get a little bit of distance from The Grieving and the ways of grief and fear that you're feeling start to space out they don't ever leave you but over time those waves of holy cow and I don't want this and I can't handle this and why is this happening to me time will start to lessen those waves you will gather your feet underneath you again and you will absolutely be stronger and be a better version of yourself based on this incredible challenge that you're facing and I can say that even though you may be facing in a tough time because if you think about your life you faced extraordinary challenges and there hasn't been a single one that hasn't made you a better and stronger version of yourself and this moment will be no different so I want you to understand that when you get out of the cycle of grief this is an enormous Reckoning an enormous opportunity for you to hit the pause button and for you to start to ask yourself the question what do I want my life to look like because I think too many of us are sitting here going I can't wait for my life to get back to normal I can't wait for this to end I can't wait to things to go back to normal and in any moment of Reckoning what happens is there's actually parts of your old life that you don't want to go back to and there is a tremendous amount that you're learning in this moment that you need to pause and take in and say okay based on what I've just learned based on my old life when I look ahead to my new life what is it that I want my new life to look like this next chapter I can turn to a blank page I can take all this wisdom all this resilience all this strength and I can write something new that's what I want you to know you don't need to know where the world or where everything is headed you just need to know where you're gonna head next also to make sure you're actually taking action after watching this video I've designed a special free worksheet just for this video the worksheet will highlight all the Lessons Learned in this video as well as pull out our three favorite learnings and quotes that will inspire you to actually do something the worksheet will also give you space to write down what your key takeaways are and your specific plan of action to make sure you're getting results if you want the worksheet designed specifically for this video absolutely for free there's a link in the description below go click on it and start building the momentum in your life and your business I'll see you there rule number four Hustle Hard with Ed mylett I want to get started today by asking you a couple things number one are you clear on what you really want like with all the information being thrown at you I want you to think about this for a minute right because complexity is the enemy of execution so the more stuff that gets thrown at you if you're not completely clear on exactly what it is you want okay you're never going to get it and we're going to talk about getting clear on those things today but somehow inside of you finding the version of you that's capable of doing those things is the most important thing so what I want to have happen today I hope is this experience that we talk about happiness but we also talk about fulfillment I don't want you to make all your financial goals happen and find yourself unfulfilled I know more people with money that aren't fulfilled than I do people without money if you can't find a way to be happy in this moment in this time right now I promise you when you arrive at wealth you are going to bring you with you and it will only magnify the things you don't like about yourself when you get a bunch of money I learned that firsthand but I think it's important that you not always just see the after that you also see the before because as an entrepreneur you're all entrepreneurs now right you're going to have false start after false start you're going to get it going and then it's going to go backwards you're going to make progress it's going to go backwards you're going to think you have a deal and then you don't you're going to make money on three Deals and then you won't it's going to get going and go backwards it happens as an entrepreneur over and over and over again so I tell you when I tell you that I have respect for you that I admire what you're trying to do with your life I mean that sincerely I know what it's like to want to change your life's conditions I know what it's like to want to win for your family and I know what it's like to not be totally sure you're going to do it so when I tell you I understand the journey and I admire and respect you I may I may admire and respect you even at a level most people don't I know what it's like to fail and then once I started to turn it around I wanted to win so bad I was going to fake it till I made it I tell you that to start out today it's a long way of telling you I relate to where you are to some extent some of you too cool you're like well I'm not liking that kind of a condition yes you are you're broke you're broke and until you admit where you are and Define where you are and quit playing it cool and try to fool everybody about where you are you're going to keep losing let me be real with you now that I've been funny with you now we're going to get real stop bullshiting everybody you're not fooling anybody you talk to a real wealthy man I know what you really got going on and by the way your Uncle Larry the lawyer making 350 Grand a year that ain't money that's not money if you're not at least at multiple seven figures in this world you are still broke trust me my brother-in-law makes 280 thousand dollars he lives in Chino Hills he can't even afford to buy a damn house right now where he lives because he can't save now if he had these strategies he probably could do it right but do not fool yourself that you got it going or you need to be in a big damn hurry time is running out on you there's 86 400 seconds in a day the separator between me and you and people that win and lose is what we do with those seconds and you're too slow you're too cool you're too casual you think too much you need to get in a hurry the separator in this room you're all learning the same things the separator is going to be who takes massive action quickly you all learn the same things I know all you know lots of guys know what I know why aren't they wealthy why don't they have a 40 million dollar jet why don't they live Oceanfront Laguna Beach why don't they have the most unbelievable homes in the world in Coeur d'Alene Idaho why don't they retire their parents why don't when their daughter breaks their nose they go to an urgent care if some doofus snaps it back I go to a 25 000 surgeon write a check and don't think about it for my kids and I'm the guy driving the Chrysler LeBaron man I'm the guy whose water was turned off so listen to me look at my hands you stop playing around I'm looking around this room not all of you are 19 years old time's running out on you well number five is follow your dreams with Lewis Howes I started to steal every single day in order to gain friends there are two kids in the neighborhood who said hey do you want to join our club and I said yes because I don't have any friends so what's it going to take they said well there's one of two options you could one answer a question to see if you can join you're smart enough to join the club or two pay money and I didn't have any money and I'm eight years old I said okay what are the questions and there were two questions that they asked I didn't know the answer to either one of these and so they said sorry you can't join the club unless you pay us money so I walk home with my head down and asked my mom hey mom can I have some money it was five dollars at the time which was a lot for me eight years old I said can I have five dollars and I go back to this their house and I'm in the club for a day and I give them the money and I remember feeling so you know shameful and just like a loser because I literally had to pay money to have two neighborhood boys be friends with me and add me in their Club but I was doing it only for myself it was to prove others wrong it was to prove the kids that picked me last on the dodgeball court in in fourth grade that I'm going to prove you wrong I'm going to be something of myself I'm going to be better than you it was to prove the kids that I had to pay five dollars to join their Club so I could have friends that I'm going to prove you wrong about me it was always to prove someone wrong I wanted to achieve my dreams so that I could be right they could be wrong I started to achieve all my dreams every dream that I had when I realized the power of dreams they all started to come true everything I set myself out to do it happens and I remembered feeling so ungrateful and unfulfilled within minutes after I achieved all these dreams all state in multiple Sports in high school All-American and two sports playing professional sports I was like a dream when I was on my sister's couch to make a thousand dollars and I did that and I was ungrateful then it was five thousand dollars I did that and I was ungrateful then it was 20 000 a month a hundred thousand I need to make my first million it was never good enough I was always ungrateful right why am I so upset and so unfulfilled when I'm achieving my dreams and it wasn't until I started to say you know what I got perspective it's not whether or not I achieved the dream it's what I learn and who I become in the pursuit of the church now yes I want to achieve all my goals and all my dreams but some of them haven't happened and I look back and I say you know what at least the last 10 years or five years or two years of this journey of going after this dream look at the relationships I've made look at the lessons I've learned look at how much I've grown it's about how can I win and also make everyone else around me win in whatever that looks like for them how could I create that so follow your dreams they matter because you matter I'm rule number six the last one before some very special bonus Clips is use negativity to grow with Marie forleo so curious have you ever had someone not believe in you or they said something really horrible about your work where it felt like a punch in the gut and just left you thinking oh my God how could someone be that mean I have so let me tell you what it did for me and more importantly what it could do for you so back in 2009 my program b-school was getting ready to be brought into the world and I was trying to do everything I could to make it a success I was trying to network find promotional Partners basically get the word out all over so I went to this business conference in Washington DC and I was so excited to be there I had my little conference badge around my neck I had my big conference binder under my arm everything was going good so I'm on the escalator heading to go up to one of the main sessions and there was this guy in front of me and he was part of the conference too so of course as you do at conferences he turned around and he asked me he's like oh so what do you do this was the perfect opportunity I was so excited I started telling him about b-school I said oh I'm launching this incredible online business program for women entrepreneurs and so he says oh that's cute is that a hobby do you actually make money doing that or do you have a rich husband who's bankrolling you for one of the very few times in my life I was absolutely speechless I felt like I just got gonged by the ultimate business d-bag I was thinking to myself I cannot believe a-holes like this still exist and thank God it was a short little escalator ride because I wanted to throw him over that freaking escalator I got myself together I mustered out something about that I had been successfully supporting myself in business for the last nine years and then I did whatever I could to get away from that turd muncher as fast as humanly possible now here's my point while that guy was a total ignorado for what he said to me I actually thank him for not believing in me I thank him for underestimating me I thank him for being a totally ignorant chauvinistic piece of poop you know why because he actually fueled me to make b-school even more of a success I was already committed to it but after that interaction and nothing was going to stop me now I know that not everybody is wired in the exact same way but for me when I want something really bad and someone basically says you can't do that it just gets me totally fired up and motivated to prove them wrong and yes I know in a certain spiritual framework we don't want to be reactive to life but what I'm saying is this is that every single thing that happens to you including what I now call escalator moments are fuel for growth and sometimes even more so than the encouraging moments all commitments require investments in time and money all commitments you cannot make a commitment without time and money being invested time and money has to be invested you have to invest time and money if it's not on your schedule you're not committed if you don't have money back by that time on your calendar if it's not costing you money or you don't have money deposited right there you are not committed where you have your money is where your personal spiritual emotional physical commitments go whatever your money is is who you are most committed to Wells Fargo Bank of America Citibank you guys many of you got more money at Wells Fargo than you have invested in your own advertising the market because you guys are committed to the live the Big Marketing scam of the universe save your money save your money what you should do is you should get a good job first of all you should avoid borrowing money unless it's for something that we think is good for you right so first of all you should not borrow money unless it's one of our credit cards where we give you points and one day you too will be able to stay at a Holiday Inn for free where by the way the buffets at the kitchen are free you can eat all you want not to mention that you're already overweight but you could go there and eat all you want for as long as you want butter if you just borrow enough money on this card to buy enough stuff you don't need to pay us back one day if you can right and then during the week when you're not borrowing money from us what you should do is spend your time getting money to pay for the book that belt that you bought and put on your credit card that you can't write off others so this is what Americans are doing people all around the world spend 40 hours a week running around hustling yeah they get hundred dollars what do they do now they run over here to the bank drop off the hundred bucks then they run back out do another 40 weeks pick up a thousand dollars man I had a great week didn't I bang and then they run over here and drop it off at the bank these are the good Americans the bad Americans go pick up a thousand bucks and go to the club and blow it the good Americans run run around collecting a thousand dollars five thousand dollars ten thousand dollars Hustlers Hustlers man hard workers they they get sophisticated ugh I'm gonna put a little money in the bank over here over here at Wells Fargo I'm gonna have a little over here at Citibank I'ma spread this sh around I want to be a slave to many not a slave to a few I'm gonna give a little to Bank of America I'm gonna give a little bit to City Bank I'm gonna give a little bit to the Wells Fargo I'm gonna give a little bit to Fidelity and Merrill Lynch I'm going to give a little bit to my IRA and my 401k I'm gonna bust my ass I'm gonna spend 40 years killing myself to make sure all these institutions have my money where they pay me nothing for the sake of security right and then you guys look up one day you're like where's my money at it's in all these accounts by the way what do those people do with your money when they get it they call me up hey Mr Cardone we got another dummy guy spent goddamn he must have spent 160 hours put together a little Bank extremely disciplined dumbass and and he saved hundred thousand dollars with us and we'd like to know Mr Cardone if you would like to borrow that money his money yeah I sure would because we know Mr Cardone that you'll put that money to work okay this guy that gave it to us all he wants to do is work I'm like yes send me that money bro send me that money okay and they by the way they're not done calling me they're going to call nine other people they're going to take his 100 Grand and they're going to say they're gonna they're gonna lend it out nine hundred thousand dollars of it and this is the banking system and that is debt by the way that U.S dollar okay they're basically multiplying money if the bank doesn't keep it why do you spend all your time giving it to them to keep for you the reality is that those who can delay eating the marshmallow the longest do the best because you're right delaying gratification is an absolute superpower now one of the most extraordinary experiments was done at Stanford University it's called the marshmallow experiment there's a whole book written on this utterly fascinating they followed the participants in the study for like 25 years absolutely incredible they bring these kids into a room they give them a marshmallow and they say Hey you can eat the marshmallow now if you want but if you wait until I come back then I'll give you two marshmallows so it's basically double your money it's not going to be that long now what the kid doesn't know is that the researcher isn't coming back and they just want to see how long the kid is going to wait until they eat it they do eventually come back but they leave them really to struggle for quite some time and what they found was the kids that could come up with games where they're singing to themselves not looking at the marshmallow whatever the kids that were able to delay the gratification the longest ended up doing the best they got the best grades they got the highest paying jobs they had the most successful relationships now the reason that that works is in any one moment if you're just operating around optimizing for momentary mind States brain States neurochemical states then you're always going to be in short-term thinking you're always going to get short-term results if however you have this goal that excites you and is Honorable and you're able to push through all the boring stuff and all of that then what you get is a set of skills that allow you to do things other people can't do and as we establish in the last question if you can do things other people can't do that is by its very nature success and you will be rewarded in a way that other people will not be rewarded because they can't do the things you do and as long as the things you do are valued by Society then you are always going to do very well but that ultimately is the key you have to be able to delay gratification now for me understanding that that was the nature of things that if I can delay my momentary wishes for something longer term then I could get these very different results that separated me from other people and because I'm excited about what I'm pursuing I use that excitement as my trick to stay focused when things get boring and I've said many times that boredom kills more entrepreneurs than failure so everyone will tell you that fear of failures what stops people and that is a huge deal but honestly like I think it's the fact that people don't want the outcome badly enough to fight through all the boring painful stuff that you have to go through to get to the other side to ultimately be successful so make sure that you are hyped up on your goal if you're not then you're not going to be willing to go through all the difficult things why is identity so important for us to shape a positive powerful identity well first of all so I wouldn't understand what I mean by identity is we all have a way of identifying ourselves we have a way of labeling ourselves so most of us came up with our labels based on how we behaved but really smart people can do stupid things really nice people can be mean mean people can be nice and so if you judge yourself too soon and most people's identity their labels for themselves who they think they are has been based on their past and often many years ago and so they don't update it so that the metaphor I give for identities like it's your comfort zone it's not your goals so if you like if you took a temperature in the room and said 68 degrees is my comfort zone physically emotionally financially I want more in my relationship I want more physically energy wise I want more financially in my career but this is what I'm used to and so what happens people stay in their comfort zone for the most part and then let's say something happens and you dip you're a 68 degree or that's your mentality and you drop down to 62 61 60 somewhere around 60 or 59 the heaters kick on and go whoa whoa whoa you're 68 degree what the hell are you doing we've all experienced that all of a sudden you go I'm not going to live like this anymore I'm not going to be in this relationship I'm not going to be fat like this how boom and you get this drive and you start to change but what most people don't understand is it happens on the upper end too meaning let's say you got momentum you start crushing you start doing even better than you think you go from 68 to 70 88 you're 98 Degrees financially emotionally spiritually whatever the metaphor is and then what happens you're going to say hey you're bringing us who the hell do you think you are you're not a 98 degree here all right get back to 68 and if nothing else the heaters stop you lose your drive and that'll drift you back and not enough the air condition can kick on you start to kind of sabotage yourself till you get back to your comfort zone so unless you expand your identity change is temperance like when someone says to me I stopped smoking it's been eight days and I say why are you counting so you can tell people how long you lasted this time and if I went to somebody and and I said to you hey you know Louis you want a cigarette you're not going to say what brand is it you know no okay I'm not a smoker notice how people I'm not one of those that's not my identity identity is the strongest force in the human personality if you look Lance Armstrong was a mixed identity now in the culture this is a guy that had to win and found a way to win it so when he was told he had cancer in his lungs and his brain and in his testicles and he rides a bike and he's gonna die his answer was no I'm a champion I find the way I will find the answer and he did now unfortunately he bent the rules around the sport and it kind of ruined his reputation obviously but that mentality his identity is why he survived other people told they have cancer and they're like it's over they give up they start arranging their Affairs and so that psychological difference is the number one thing I work with people on Because unless you expand your identity you're gonna basically keep where you are you might improve a little or not you might go up and down a bit but you're going to stay within a realm if you're gonna have an explosive breakthrough to another level physically mentally financially spiritually then we got to not only give you the tools we got to shift that internal sense of who you really are and have you find that you are more than anything that's ever happened to you that you can handle whatever shows up even if it's incredibly scary or uncomfortable I was born in Belarus in the former Soviet Union I came to the U.S when I was three we lived a very humble beginning as you can imagine the economy wasn't super great we didn't speak English we had a hundred bucks I lived with seven family members in a studio apartment in Queens so it was super humble as you and you know obviously my parents are very much my heroes uh one because my mom is the greatest parent of all time and two because my dad worked his face off and even though I slept under the same roof literally every day of my life with my dad in the first 14 years of my life I literally never saw him because he left at 7 A.M or 6 a.m and he came home at 10 p.m and he worked seven days a week how many people here are immigrants or children of immigrants raise your hands awesome so this group that just raised their hands they know that immigrants in America have absolutely figured out one of the core Secrets which is you know work your face off and don't buy dumb foreign and so that's kind of what my family did for seven or eight years you know we my dad wasn't making that much money but a funny thing happens when you buy nothing but food at the lowest possible price and uh save save save save save save and very quickly only six years after Coming To America with 100 bucks my dad was able to buy a small liquor store in New Jersey we moved to New Jersey that is where my entrepreneurial career began uh when I was six I had a five Lemonade Stand franchise I uh manipulated my friends into standing behind the lemonade all day and that is when I became obsessed with attention and this is really interesting as you can see up here I day trade attention culture and build businesses at six years old I would spend my summer days literally walking up and down the streets of New Jersey sitting down on the curb watching cars drive by so that I could figure out which tree or post was better for me to put a sign that said lemonade a quarter that is DNA that's like somebody singing That's like somebody throwing a pitch really like that is just pure DNA I didn't read a Seth Godin book or go to Harvard Business School to figure out that attention was the number one asset the one thing that combines every person here from the cameramen back there who are producing to the industry that is in this room to me to Mickey to anybody else that sneaked in the one thing that fundamentally connects all of us is before you tell me how great your product and services you need my attention so that I listen I am obsessed with attention I am obsessed with this device because it has the attention I am unemotional if it's ruining the kids and they don't know how to engage or that you were sad that people go out to dinner and don't talk to each other technology does not care about your feelings and so I as a human may have some opinions about Parenthood and and society and privacy as a human but as a businessman I am unemotional and not romantic all I do is follow where the attention is and I figure out how to storytell in there to create the action that I desire one of the things that will help you to do the work to create the things that you want in your life is it will help you if you train your mind to start spotting evidence as you're doing the work as you're going through your day it will help you if you train your mind to start scanning the world and spotting evidence that yes indeed the world is sending you positive signals that things are going to work out now why is it important to train your mind to help you get what you want well the reason why is because if you get into a negative mindset if you start thinking this business is never going to work why even bother I'm never going to meet anybody it's nothing but losers out there look at all these idiots on hinge why the hell should I keep doing this if you allow your mind to start to rest in a pessimistic negative protective scared and doubtful stance your mind will continue to show you reasons why there's nobody on hinged worth talking to your mind will continue to show you all the reasons why you will never make it in business your mind will continue to show you all the reasons why you're never going to lose that weight and be able to tuck in your shirt as my friend Corinne Crabtree always talks about that transformational moment and when your mind goes negative your mind starts to scan the world and will show you more reasons to stop and the power of training your mind to spot positive signs is very simple the power is that your mind will start to show you reasons to keep going your mind will help you take the step your mind will encourage you to feel optimistic to feel empowered just like you woke up today on a Tuesday and it was February 22nd 2022 and those numbers are lining up and that makes you in your heart and soul go whoa something cool could happen today like that only happens like once in my lifetime those numbers are going to line up like that today is a really cool date let's go do something with this you could create that kind of attitude every single freaking day of your life you could if you train your mind and if you start taking action and training your mind is the key piece that we're going to talk about so for those of you that have read the high five habit one of the things that I talk about a lot is every single day find a naturally occurring heart-shaped object in the world it could be a stone it could be a leaf it could be a cloud it could be a shape in your coffee hey Chris if we've got anything around here that looks like a heart hand it to me and the reason why I love telling you to start playing a game with yourself well you start your day going mind brain show me some heart oh what is this come here dog treat oh my God it's a dog treat look at this guys what shape is that that right there is a harp there we go check that out if you say brain mind show me a heart today guess what's going to happen that damn dog biscuit it's gonna show it's gonna you're gonna be like there's a heart you're gonna look out at the sky and you're gonna see a heart shape oh right there in the mountains there's a heart shape in the mountains in southern Vermont you're going to see it in the clouds what you're doing when you tell your mind what's important to you is you're telling your mind and the filter in your brain to change in real time and allow into your consciousness what's important to you and if you want to see hearts by God those damn dog treats are going to start looking like hearts everybody that's how you train your mind it's freaking incredible and if you want to see evidence of this follow me on social media if you follow me Mel Robbins on social media you will see every day I am reposting your stories of finding heart shapes around the world now why is this important well it's important because it's a simple way to prove to you that your mind changes in real time that if you get serious about becoming more positive and optimistic and encouraging of yourself if you get serious about saying this I don't want to see all the reasons why I'm unhappy I don't want to see everybody else in the world that's launched a business or that's lost weight and is healthy or that has a really good uh marriage or relationship and I don't want to see that and and have my mind process it as evidence that it's never going to happen for me I want my mind to reprogram itself and see other people's businesses and see other people getting healthy and see other people in relationships and I want my mind to say yeah if they can do it I can do it that's evidence if that person can get healthy so can I if that person can find somebody unhinged so can I if that person can reconcile with their child so can I other people can become evidence that you can have it too right now your mind is so up from your past that when you see what other people have and you don't have it you can't actually translate it through a negative mind and and see that that's evidence that you're going to win you see it like oh somebody already stole what I wanted that sucks and so what I want to start to open your mind to is that you have the power to train your mind to filter the world differently just like you woke up and you saw the date today 2 22 22 and your brain saw that was like whoa this is a once in a lifetime day everybody you're never going to have another day that lines up like this ever what are you gonna do with this day your mind already interpreted this as wow something cool could happen and if you tell yourself something amazing is going to happen today something will because you're going to be looking for it I swear to God something will something will if you want to see the good all around you you got to tell your mind you want to see the good and this just isn't a bunch of horsesh everybody this isn't toxic positivity there is a filter in your brain called the reticular activating system the reticular activating system I call it the RAS I like to think about it like a giant hair net on your head and this Ras sits over your brain I'm probably getting this wrong I'm not a neuroscientist I could give about getting it right I just need you to know the basics here so that you can apply it to your life okay you don't need a PhD to use the science that super smart people have been working really hard on in order to apply it to your life that's what I'm here for in your life I'm here to translate this stuff into simple believable and actionable things that you can do to take all this super cool stuff that people are researching and apply it to your normal person's everyday life to help you change from the inside out and one of the coolest things that you have at your disposal is you have a whole system in your body that you can train and change and one of those things that you can train and change that is impacted by that real that word you're hearing a lot of neuroplasticity that just means that things are able to twist and bend and change and you're able to learn new things for as long as you're alive as long as you're breathing everybody you got a chance to change the way that you think as long as you are breathing you got a chance to change from the inside out how you experience your life as long as you are still here watching me people you got a chance to create a new experience in your life and one of the things that helps a lot is understanding that right now all of the bullsh from your past has jammed the filter in your mind body and spirit the reticular activating system and it is clouding your ability to look at the world around you and see hearts remember this dog treat hearts look at that there's a heart right there if you're trying to reach the decision maker at a retail organization that guy or gal is also the same person that I want to reach to sell a bottle of wine or a book to and that space in his and her Facebook feed is only one space so that is supply and demand I used to buy that space four years ago for a dollar for every thousand Impressions now it's seven the longer you think this world doesn't exist and you fear-mongerate the longer you don't put money in the longer I can extract all the value I've lived this game I'm not a hero because I took it from 3 to 50 million 60 million my dad's business I actually am a schmuck I should have spent more on Google I had it figured out every time you typed in Cabernet Merlot Silver Oak Camus Napa Bordeaux I was showing up first because nobody realized it was good real estate and it was only costing me five or ten cents a click and I was making between seven and eighty dollars in profit for something that was costing me three dollars to get you through the funnel on the average of 60 people coming and one converting I was stupid I'm being serious with you I stand here and have passion about LinkedIn and Facebook marketing in a B2B environment today out of regret for what I did from 2002 to 2005 because I should have spent more it was basic math but I just didn't understand because I was young in my career and it just I don't even know how to explain it to you when it's too good to be true it's too good to be true right I'm an immigrant I was cynical I just didn't plus I also thought it was important to do direct mail and local commercials and magazine I was doing it all but in hindsight it was the great mistake of my career the great mistake of my career was not spending more money on Google and I promise you the great mistake of your accelerated growth for the 80 that just raised their hand is not taking advertising on LinkedIn and Facebook seriously because you don't think your person is on it I've heard every guys I've been doing this for 10 years I know what your excuse is going to be I can't wait to the Q a I'm going to stand here and but Gary my my target person is a 63 year old man he's not on it of course he's on it who do you think is spreading all the Democratic and Republican propaganda on Facebook let's play a game and let's call this game what would Tom do now I want you to ask do you think that Tom is going to stay in a bad job for long no that's the I'll skip to the last page and Tom has a bad job uh skip to the last page tom leaves the job now Tom is going to be very thoughtful because I completely understand that this is largely about yo I have to pay bills hey Tom nice for you you don't have kids and you've already been successful so that's not really helpful for me now I will say that joy and fulfillment are the punchline of life not money not success not adoration so you are losing losing losing if you're staying in a job that makes you unhappy I promise if you have kids and that's the thing that's really making this difficult you are bringing that unhappiness home and so we have a moral obligation to break that to make sure that we are pursuing things that are joyful so that we can show our kids hey this is how it's done now you're not stuck at a job there's something that's making you feel stuck at the job I'm going to assume for now that it's money keeping a roof over your loved one's heads that that to me seems like the scariest so okay assuming that it's that remember there are always two levers lever number one make more money lever number two need less money okay you can pull on either lever you want now if you say up Tom I can't need less money just we're all we've already cut it all to the quick you know my kids just need a certain amount and just is what it is okay amazing so now we're gonna make more money awesome how do we go about doing that first of all let's identify what we hate about our job because there might be are there other roles within that company if it's just the job but not the company is there somewhere that we could move in which case we go ask hey I want this job which pays more money what would I need to do what skill set would I need to have what expertise would I need to demonstrate in order to get there and then go do that thing if it's the company and we just the company's toxic we can't be there anymore then I will ask how many resumes have you sent out in the last 48 hours if the answer isn't 250 then we've got some work to do now let's assume that the answer is 250. then we have to figure out why aren't we getting a response do we not have a skill set that's marketable is our resume terrible are we not going out to the right places have we not framed ourself well could be any one of those things but we have to be honest and real and figure out what we need to do to get out of this situation but we certainly don't just accept defeat and go wow this sucks this is my whole life nights and weekends is also going to come to our help our Aid here so nights and weekends if you know whoa I just don't have the skill set that I need to go find another job then we're going to start building that skill set maybe the skill set is interviewing getting good at interviewing and then we're going to get good at that but we are going to find a way out of our situation and we are going to find a way out of our situation quickly so do not accept defeat hold yourself accountable to the truth to what you need to do to get out of that situa