Unleash Your Success: The Ultimate Guide to Getting RICH with Hard Work!

Key Takeaways

you know to be great i think you have to fight and i very much think that my success is a product of some level of skill but i do think i win because i outwork people i really do believe that 100 and i'm not sure that if my dad didn't set that example that i'd even have the ability to think one could work that hard the fact that i've been working 19 hours a day every day for the last 20 years is easy for me it's the only gear i knew right i was poor i sucked at school it was the only gear i had you know i think you need to recognize that um your biggest advantage is that you're hungrier than your competitor and that if you are not applying your one advantage which is your work ethic and the hours that you have to put into your business well then you're going to come up short hey it's kevin carmichael and this channel was created to help you overcome the number one challenge that's holding you back a lack of belief in yourself you watch these videos because you know there's something more inside you too you've got michael jordan level genius at something so today let's live your best believe life and get some powerful motivation for success enjoy i sit here with enormous assumptions around all of you that you're just too soft to beat me right that i think that you've had it better and that that alone doesn't allow you to beat me somebody will come with a counter cultural point of view and be like gary that's cool but i don't have to work that hard because i'm working smarter yeah me too i work hard and smart now what look there's a 12 hour 10 hour 8 hour 15 hour work day you can finish a lot of things in those 18 12 9 hours or you can finish medium amounts of things or lightweight things people focus on too many small details way too many people in this room are going to spend the next 30 40 years of their lives trying to check the boxes of the things that they're not as good at and that you're going to waste a load of time and news i highly recommend for all you hustlers because there's a lot of you there's a lot of you that are always talking about gary i do work hard and you do you work for 16 hours some people just don't have the attention span or the capacity to remember or like there's a lot of things i can't learn i was very poor student because the subject matter bored me and if i was forced to become great at understanding the great artists of the 20th century i'm in big trouble and so i would tell people to bet on their strengths you need to bet on your strengths and don't give a about what you suck at and to put themselves in a position to win with their strengths because that is absolutely the straightest line to success greatness comes from adversity and and looking the the challenge in the eye and having the intestinal fortitude to kind of uh to to step up and go after it rule number two have a growth mindset with tom billiard hey tom hello so uh i have a company that's doing eight figures in revenue and it's been sitting in that range and i've tried a few different things when with your first company what did you have to do to get it to nine figures and what did you have to sacrifice whether personal or in business so in the first company to get to nine figures we had to sell it and move into a totally different company so this is where are you in the right industry are you solving the right problem and you really have to look at that because the reality is some businesses are just eight-figure businesses and so is this an eight-figure business and what we need to be doing is pivoting and finding something that opens us up to a much larger vista or are we doing something wrong so we run the physics of progress we start with our goal our goal is hyper specific then and this is the art we have what is that problem are there people in your industry that are doing it are there nine figure businesses in your industry if there are nine figures in fact this is a really useful life tool who is doing it well okay you're trying to do something who's doing it well who's ahead of you right so i decide that i'm going to try to make sure that nobody gets to the age of 15 without encountering a growth mindset that's my mission in life okay everything i do is about that thank you so now you work backwards my first attempt was to just look into a camera and say things like this act like this and i realize two percent of people will respond to it but 98 don't you will never hear me say as long as i help one person i'm not that guy i want to help everybody and at scale as much as humanly possible so i started thinking about the 98 and i realized okay i'm gonna be doing something in media either uh music which sways culture video games uh movies tv whatever that's gonna be and so i decided given my passions and my skill set that i'm going to be on the film tv video game side so who's done it well who has told only one kind of story right because that's i can only make one kind of story if i'm trying to give you a growth mindset i every story has to tell a growth mindset so i was like has anybody ever told one kind of story and built a really successful media company and the answer is god damn right disney told one kind of story over and over and over from a thousand different angles and in doing so he has swayed culture to give you an idea my sister went to disneyland 72 times in 12 months pre-covert obviously and i thought whoa like this place really means something to her so if disney can build the most magical place on earth can i build the most empowering place on earth now i don't just go copy disney but i see a lot of the cues that i need about what they did how they swayed the psychology of the world and so you want to find somebody that's doing it and that's going to give you those first clues you have to take ownership of everything say everything is my fault and get real good at identifying that problem whether it's we don't have enough capital we don't have the right product i'm not the right sales person whatever but you have to figure out what that problem is do you have a guess what holds you back well uh there's well there is a nine and ten figure businesses in my industry and what they do is once a company gets to eight figures they look at buying them so that's the end goal so what's the problem uh trying to figure it out trying to figure out that's vague trying to figure out how to i have to multiply the revenue by five times to get to eight figures are you saying though that you don't understand which companies to buy no uh in my company when it gets to eight figures nine and ten figure companies in my industry buy them which is the goal okay but so are you a seven figure trying to be an eight or an eight trying to be a nine no eight trying to be a nine okay so if we know that people go from eight to nine remember you said this if we know that eights go to nines by acquiring other companies the goal is already obvious we have to go buy companies at least that's one path true or false uh true but sorry what i meant what i meant is when you go from eight figures to nine figures the nine figure ten figure companies buy buy you at that point uh and you're afraid you'll get purchased no i wanna sell i wanna get to tell me the problem in a single sentence um because just just to be clear when you started unless i misunderstood you said tom i'm an eight and i want to become a nine how do i do it and the answer is sitting right in front of us but now when i say that's the answer you say no no that's not the problem well what i was asking is what you specifically did in your first company to get from eight to nine we exited that company and started a new one from scratch because that was a market that was never going to take us to nine figures so so that's an option to look at that then absolutely yeah everything's on the table we're thinking from first principles i didn't look at that option so but it also sounds i'm a little confused we'll move on but i'm a little confused because you gave us the answer which is to acquire other companies so there's and now i'm going to speak to everybody else about your problem forgive me but like do you guys see how the answer he was able to articulate the answer but there's something that doesn't satisfy him in that answer oh this is so important so if we've been on sort of the 101 101 we're now in the master's degree this is where i see entrepreneurs get tripped up all the time there is a gap between what you feel and what you can articulate if you're living in a feeling and you cannot say the problem in a single sentence your emotions are making something feel obvious that actually isn't obvious oh god this is so important you're having a biological experience this is one of those where i would need a full week to walk you through why it is so important to understand i'm going to give it to you real fast i've got still a little over 50 minutes okay this is really important you're going to think i'm not talking about business but i swear to god i am the conscious mind uses language the subconscious mind uses emotion the conscious mind can process very little data the subconscious mind can process what they call faster and vaster so your subconscious mind can take in all this information from the world and it can't speak to you in language so it's processing a lot of data a lot of data all the data that's necessary but it can't communicate to you in words for two reasons one we pass through infancy and from an evolutionary perspective we pass through millions of years of not having sophisticated language but even now we go through an extended period where we cannot speak but we have to have a way to communicate so anybody that has kids know the way the kids communicate is they have all this data coming from their body they get stressed and they just scream and so it's this really simple feedback loop and what i'm trying to get people to understand is that you're existing in that same feedback loop right now in your business so subconscious will speak to an emotion you must learn to translate that emotion into words a very simple conscious thought that you can say in a single sentence with no commas no run-ons no parentheticals so there's nowhere to hide now you're having a biological experience i started by saying your brain is fine with you you ready for a true story who's ready for a true story okay if this doesn't freak you out and the story i'm about to tell you is going to explain 80 of the problems that you have as a business owner this is so true and you're not going to believe me but i'm only ever going to say what is true this is a real study you can read about it in very famous textbooks there is a region of the brain that you can damage that will eliminate your ability to form long-term memories so you can form short-term memories but if we meet and your this area of your brain is damaged and i leave the room and come back three minutes later you won't remember me it's real okay it's not just the movie momento it's a real condition so they would test this guy and one time they had a doctor walk in with a pin in his hand so when he reached out to shake the guy's hand it poked him and the guy pulled his hand back and was like whoa doctor leaves the room waits three minutes comes back in remember this guy's not faking it he does not know who this doctor is the region of his brain that forms long-term memories has been destroyed and so he meets this doctor new the doctor sticks out his hand if he doesn't know who he is he should reach out and just get pricked over and over and over right would you not assume that to be true but he'll refuse to reach out they've tested this on multiple people now and this is the important part open your minds for me i want you to hear what actually happens because this is what's happening to you right now and you don't realize it when asked why won't you shake this doctor's hand what the guy said was i've always had a long-standing problem of shaking the hand of someone in a white lab coat that's a lie has nothing to do with that it has to do with a region of his brain stored a tie between this guy and pain that can't articulate into the conscious mind because of the memory storage problem but the brain will not allow there to be no answer the brain will not allow there to be no answer so when we run into a problem hey i'm an eight figure business i'm trying to become a nine-figure business you feel like you know why well it's because of this that or the other it's almost certainly true that that narrative is the version of your brain connecting some pain you feel an emotion something doesn't feel right you put it into words and feel like cool i've got the words i can use when somebody asks me about this eighty percent maybe ninety percent of the problems you face in your business you have an emotional understanding of but you never take the time to question the narrative that you've layered on top of that and until you can pierce that narrative and figure out what's really going on using the physics of progress you're never going to figure it out so know that you lie to yourself all the time and it's the only way to get through life we all do it you have to do it it's actually a great strategy but to grow your business you have to figure out how to get through that and get to the other side because there's some emotion stopping you rule number three embrace the suffering with ed meidlet i want you to write this down i need to embrace the suffering you know there's something powerful that once you just sort of embrace the fact that in order to achieve something big you've got to get rid of these distractions and then the other layer of it is you're probably going to have to have some suffering to get there or some sacrifice to get there and so once you've embraced and decided that this suffering this sacrifice you're making is an indicator of progress it's an indicator of obsession suffering and sacrifice and hard work is an indication of progress towards our dreams the lack of sacrifice the lack of suffering in our lives its removal its non-existence also equates to a non-existence of a great life a non-existence of a dream happening a big one anyway and so embrace the fact that you're gonna have to sacrifice and suffer to some extent once you've embraced that it's going to happen it's almost not that bad it's kind of like those of you that are fit we already know and you already know even if you're not you've sort of accepted that before you go to the gym and get there you're gonna have to suffer and we go anyway it becomes a habit no one goes into a gym thinking i'm not gonna have to sacrifice or suffer there'll be no discomfort or no pain but millions of people go anyway don't they to the gym on some level they're suffering in the gym whether it's breathing heavy or sweating or aches or pains or stress you know everything in the gym is a sacrifice and to some extent you're suffering going through some pain you know it before you go don't you yet most of us go all the time yet in life outside of that one area most of us are worried about suffering we're afraid of it when we're suffering and sacrificing we wonder whether it's worth it we wonder whether we're supposed to we wonder whether sacrifice or setbacks or suffering is a sign it's not our real dream don't we see at the gym you never think oh i'm going through some pain and discomfort this must be a sign i shouldn't be at the gym you'd never think that it goes with the territory everyone knows this build a bicep or a tricep or a chest or legs you have to break it down suffer and sacrifice for it to grow so while it's happening there's no part of you that says this isn't right in fact the indication of the pain and sacrifice and sweat don't you feel better at the gym you're like wow i really sacrificed today i really suffered so in that area we all know to the extent we suffer and sacrifices to the extent we grow and your body is a metaphor for the rest of your life but the rest of our life every time we sweat every time we sacrifice every time we suffer we don't do what we do at the gym we start saying well wait a minute maybe i'm not supposed to be doing this maybe i'm not cut out maybe it's not my destiny maybe i just can't do it it's the most unbelievable ridiculous conclusion we draw but it's what everybody does which is another form of distraction is doubt the coins flip on each other all the time don't they another form of distraction is just doubt and doubt comes from the suffer it comes from a loss it comes from fear it comes from the sacrifice and so just remember this you're supposed to suffer and sacrifice so let me ask you a question what are you willing to risk in order to make your dream come true nothing ventured nothing gained you're gonna take a risk maybe it's financial maybe it's a risk of time maybe it's a risk at your job maybe it's a risk of looking bad maybe it's a risk of failing of falling on your face of going broke of going through pain of going through anxiety maybe it's even a risk in a relationship that's just going to be difficult while you do this what are you willing to risk in order to win and you have to accept that because remember what i'm going to tell you the price you will pay for not making your dream come true is far greater than the one that you will pay to make it come true want me to say it again the price you will pay the suffering you will go through to make your dream come true is incredibly small infinitely smaller than the price you will pay if you never do you'll pay that one the rest of your life and so ask yourself what you're willing to risk what's the price you're willing to pay because what most people do when they're trying to chase their dream or their big outcome the whole time they're negotiating the price in their head they're negotiating it should i continue to do it is it worth it i don't know if i can continue anymore it's getting higher and that price is failure that price is set back that price is looking bad that price can be financial literally a physical price and what happens is if you don't negotiate that price in advance it's going to steal your focus and energy and become another distraction one of the great distractions of chasing our dreams is this thing that goes off in our head as we're negotiating the price we're paying should i keep paying it is it getting too high is it too much and you'll have people in your ear it's too big a sacrifice you're going through too much and you begin to negotiate it in your mind it distracts all your focus you can't be executing and negotiating simultaneously if you're in your head negotiating and negotiating and negotiating you can't execute so negotiate it now negotiate it with me now what are you willing to pay for me when i'm after something big as long as it's legal ethical and moral i'll sacrifice everything else but i will not sacrifice anything legal anything unethical or anything immoral but beyond that i'm gonna get it and i know that negotiation comes up front i accept the suffering i accept the sacrifice i know the sacrifice is far smaller than the one i'll pay if i don't do it and i eliminate distractions and i go freaking get what i want in my life just like you can and this needs to be your recipe as well if you're one of these people who's still negotiating whether it's worth it maybe you've got someone in your head making you question it that is a poverty and scarcity mentality let me prove it to you when i didn't have money and i spent most of my life with none just like you what do we do when we go into a store we don't go get what we want we go get what we think we can afford and so i spent the majority of my life flipping price tags over i didn't buy the shirt i wanted i buy the one that i could afford i bought things based on price not worth and so i'm sure you know i didn't buy the car i wanted i bought the car i could afford so when i was broke and i had scarcity what do you do when you're in that position you negotiate price you flip price tags what's the cost what's the cost what's the cost what's the cost not what do you want when i was poor everywhere i went flip the price tag what's the cost what's the cost what's the cost what's the cost i was constantly negotiating the price for everything in my life you do that when you come from a place of scarcity of being poor successful people and wealthy people have a subtle distinction they don't look at price they look at worth is this worth it if you're constantly looking at the price tag you'll eventually relent you'll eventually give in stop negotiating the price it's a freeing experience to totally commit when you totally commit to a relationship to a business to your fitness to your faith it's a freeing powerful it's almost like removing kryptonite from your life when you totally commit can you do that the people around you always it's costing too much it's costing too much and you're going maybe it's costing too much you gotta start going no it's worth it it's not the price it's the worth it's a subtle distinction in your life that same scarcity mentality we do in going after our dreams we want to acquire our dream you can't be in price tag mode what's it cost what's it cost what's the cost you never get what you want decide in advance what it's going to cost and then decide here's the subtle distinction successful people don't negotiate the cost of something they negotiate whether it's worth it that's subtle it's very subtle if you're a person who's always thinking about what it's costing you and the sacrifice towards your dream you're always going to be negotiating it but if you can decide in advance that the cost is worth it the negotiation stops and you go execute what i'm telling you is if you really want something bad enough it's worth it it's worth it so start to feed yourself the worth question over and over and over again not the cost question cost is a distraction worth is a focus mechanism this is so worth it it's so worth it it's so worth it focus is you cost distracts you also to make sure you're actually taking action after watching this video i've designed a special free worksheet just for this video the worksheet will highlight all the lessons learned in this video as well as pull out our three favorite learnings and quotes that will inspire you to actually do something the worksheet will also give you space to write down what your key takeaways are and your specific plan of action to make sure you're getting results if you want the worksheet designed specifically for this video absolutely for free there's a link in the description below go click on it and start building the momentum in your life and your business i'll see you there rule number four do the work with mel robbins you need to do the work okay you got to do the work because it's only through your actions that you will accomplish what you want let's say uh that you've always wanted to climb a particular mountain okay there's a mountain called haystack it's not even that tall so i should probably pick a bigger one but let's just call it haystack mountain you've always wanted to climb haystack mountain you pull up to haystack mountain and you get out of the car you park at the you know national forest parking lot and you make the mistake of looking up at the mountain which is the end goal right and you notice it's up in the clouds and then you start to think oh my god that's a really far way away you know i don't really know how i feel about doing this anymore because that looks like it's going to take a really long time and then all of a sudden it starts to rain and you go i don't think i want to do this because i don't think i feel like doing this and next thing you know you are back in the car driving back down the road to that little diner that you saw and instead of climbing the mountain that you've always dreamt of climbing you've now come up with an excuse and you have abandoned ship you now have literally become your own obstacle you talked yourself out of it you started to doubt yourself you told yourself you weren't ready and that you didn't feel like it you pull the rip cord you're out of there in order to have what you want in life you must stop staring at the top of that mountain you must stop creating excuses for why you can't or don't feel like it and you must put your head down and look at the first step in front of you and then you must take the action and start walking toward what you want and it'll be a hell of a lot easier for you to do that if you have also been putting in the time every day consistently to not only see yourself walking up that trail step by step but that you have felt yourself pushing through the resistance the fear the obstacles the the excuses that are stopping you now and feel proud in every fiber of your being as you push through those obstacles and see yourself and feel yourself doing the work that's how you manifest properly and if you do that before you pull into the national park parking lot if you look up at that mountain and you see clouds and it starts raining it won't matter because you've already rehearsed this moment in your mind body and spirit and you my friend will start walking up that trail and you're going to be proud that's how you use manifesting to get what you want that's how you leverage all the science and research to train and prepare your mind body and spirit to help you get what you want and that's how you hack the motivation and inspiration that you need to take the actions that get you everything that you want and deserve in life rule number five believe with brendan burchard i'm often asked brendan how can i believe in myself more you know sometimes we get knocked down sometimes we just struggle for days or weeks or months or or decades you know and we have that like i just lost faith in myself somewhere i was so confident in my in my teens or or my 20s or my 30s or whenever and now i lost my mojo man i just don't i don't have the confidence in the in the vibe and the pop and i just i lost faith in myself what can i do and i don't have a pat easy answer for that but i got five ideas here that might just help you i'm outside here at my writer's villa in oregon and i thought you know what why don't we just talk about this it's a tough topic but let's take it on so forgive the sounds of nature if we got them forgive the sounds of anything going by but let's rock and roll number one way to start to believe in yourself is momentum now i know off the bat if you really hate yourself right now you're like thanks brendan i got no momentum that's why i hate myself so hold on i'll get to the mindset stuff i'll get to the emotional stuff but sometimes believing in yourself is just tactically winning a little bit each day you know just a little bit of a win can give you that dopamine that says oh good job reward i feel better it can be a very simple neurological payoff of just achieving a couple small goals and as you've heard me say anytime you're dealing with difficulty it can be just simple things but it's got to be momentum so whatever you're doing in your life if you got a job think about what small things can i do tomorrow to move ahead if you're dealing with a difficulty in a relationship what would be a simple win a simple moment of appreciation just something they could say or you could say to put some more pop and energy back into that relationship just one smile one kiss one good date can change the game for you also if it's just something simple you can do in your own your own health look sometimes going to the gym and leaving you feel a little better you know just a little bit of movement has been proven to change people's states of minds and their emotions too so just get in the gym or get a little bit of small goal setting get a little bit of momentum forward in any area of your life that's at least the beginning and then do it again the next day don't just go and crush it tomorrow and then be a jerk and do nothing and watch seven seasons of netflix on the next day momentum is daily little things every single day adds up to greatness second big piece and this is more of the emotional side integration my friend integration people who don't believe in themselves it's often it's not that there hasn't been evidence that they shouldn't believe in themselves they've had some wins they've had some goals that came true they they made the magic happen but they never integrated the win they never had a good thing happen and they sat there at the end of the night thinking about that good thing that happened and and allowing it to come into their heart allowing whatever they did to to give themselves credit for it permission to feel good about it to say you know what i i did this today it went well today that worked today and to integrate that win integrate that success integrate that moment into their heart into their identity as a human being what happens is most of us we knock off the checklist and did it did it did it did it did it did it and five years later after all these did it did it did it made it happen made it happen crush the question question question five years later we feel the same about ourselves the same level of confidence the same level of belief in ourselves because we didn't allow those things to enter our psyche enter our spirit as strength we didn't we took we had momentum externally but we didn't have any momentum internally building our character and our strength we never achieved that sense of pride or ownership of what we did we didn't own it that we did it so we never got stronger that means you need an integration practice at the end of the day just sit down at the end of the day and go what worked today what did i do today what little thing should i allow myself a little bit of credit for what did i say that was nice or kind what did i send away that i got done what did i finish what goal did i move a little closer to and just at the end of the day to allow that to come in this isn't about just pepping ourselves up and saying i'm awesome i'm awesome i'm awesome with no evidence i'm saying you know you got some momentum integrate that now own that you did the work today you fought the good fight you finished the day you're still alive you know what you need to go do tomorrow integrate that success give yourself that credit you'll develop that strength of spirit that's so important if you don't believe in yourself after all that hey bub get some feedback you know most people fear this when you don't believe in yourself you don't want any feedback because they might say you're stupid or you suck or you're ugly and you know if they do that you're getting feedback from the wrong people sometimes it's necessary to get feedback from the people that we love feedback from people we know like and trust and just say hey can i ask you a question what am i doing that you're seeing that seems right because right now i don't feel like i'm doing anything right and they'll say what are you talking about no you're smart you're good you've been doing this sometimes people can give us feedback and help us see that we are doing better than we think because maybe you're perfectionist or maybe you grew up with somebody who pushed so hard on you you never integrated any successes and sometimes you need somebody pushing hard at you saying good job kid you're doing all right i'm proud of you i see that you're working hard here i see that you're trying so sometimes it's about getting around a new social circle of people who are strivers who are also struggling who are fighting hard who can give you that feedback and say good job keep at it and if you do get negative feedback over and over and over assess is it real do you need to change and shift and get better and if you do don't hate that don't get mad at that take that as a challenge instead of taking things as a insult and crying over people's comments go huh you know what that's kind of got some basis in reality i'm gonna take that as a challenge i'm gonna develop myself not to prove them wrong but to get better allow yourself that allow that feeling to come from the feedback next up i love this one it's so simple it's just priming the emotions that we want to experience in our life what does that mean it means doing something in advance so we can feel it and here's what i mean by that in the morning every single day see i want to be i want to be motivated and driven i want to feel grateful for life i want to have a sense of passion about the day but you know what some days i wake up and i feel like crap so what am i going to do go through the day and just allow my impulsive feelings to tell me to feel like crap all day and lose multiple days no i'm gonna say okay i recognize i feel like crap why i didn't sleep well or why i got this bad attitude right now i'm gonna change it in the morning i do an affirmation practice and visualization practice where what i do is i pick up something every single morning i do this i grab a little just couple paragraphs maybe i read from my bible maybe i read from one of my books or another book it's a passage i have a bunch of passages in my notes section my phone too if i'm on the road and i'll just read it out loud pretending that i'm like in my most passionate happy place in my life so i'll be reading out loud some franklin delano roosevelt i'll be reading out loud to martin luther king i'll be reading out loud some napoleon hill or reading out loud some earl nightingale as loud as i can and that voice activates a power which activates an emotion which activates my day so you just got a prime emotion or sometimes i'll be in the shower and i'll say what can i do today or what i'm going to do today that would bring a laugh what can i do today that i'm excited for and i'll just get my energy up like don't wait to have good energy in life remember as i always say the power plant doesn't have energy it generates it you don't have happiness you generate it so choose to prime the emotions you want to experience in life cultivate it summon your energy versus hoping a good one lands on you and you'll start to feel better about yourself and about life and the last big one you knew i was going to go there love you know you already know the thing about love yourself and maybe in some ways you've never allowed that you've never noticed the beautiful things you've done in your life so you've never allowed yourself to love yourself but at some point you've got to recognize that there's a love that's beyond you and beyond me and beyond your actions and that love is whatever brought us here alive today some would say it's god's will and god's love some people it's the randomness of the universe some people it's nature some people it's whatever but there is something way beyond us and there's a way to access that and a way to honor that and the way to honor that is to recognize that you are unique about of seven billion people no one is like you specifically and at least take that as a moment saying okay i'm meant to live my uniqueness i'm out i'm supposed to love the things that make me odd and weird i'm supposed to love the things that make me strong i'm supposed to i was made this way so let me honor what's good about that and what's not good about that let me work on that let me set a schedule to get better at that so that i can not only honor what i've been given but i can give something back to by getting better and that aspect of doing that that brings in so much joy and so much strength in our life is love loving ourselves loving the process and of course the greatest way to believe in ourselves is to love other people that they become so grateful for us that they give us some of that feedback that they that there's so much appreciation and love and joy in the moment with others that you can't help but just feel that vibe that there's an emotional contagion when other people around you are feeling loved and cared for and excited about life it's hard not to rub off on you a little bit and you start to say you know what life isn't so bad and you know what i deserve to feel good here right now too and you know what you start getting some momentum some wins you integrate those wins you get some feedback to get better and all of a sudden you start to believe in yourself again all of a sudden you start to live the charge rule number six take responsibility for yourself with dean graziosi hey it's dean graziosi and i think it's time we get real um i just hear so many conversations right now about politics and whose fault is it the last president the future president no matter where you live in the world is it the in here is in the states is it the republicans or the democrats the liberals are the conservatives is it because my mom and dad didn't give me the foundation for success is it because the economy shifted is it because technology has taken over the world man we come up with so many ways to make it someone else's fault no one is going to make it easy for you no one owes you crap if you want another level in life the best thing the best thing you could do is put all the responsibility on yourself it's the most liberating thing in the entire world when you're not expecting anything and maybe even expect that people around you will let you down that it won't work out because listen in life in life there are two types of people and i think you realize that those that complain those that blame those that are expecting something those that want to hand out and those that quietly just take the lumps those that quietly have to learn through their own experience those that are called dreamers and wishers and sometimes capitalists and entrepreneurs which in today's world has kind of got a bad stigma isn't that terrible the thing that made the country i live in america the greatest country in the world innovative people who are going after their dreams with no restrictions not held back put their everything to on the line risk all they have to create uh to create momentum to create success to create jobs for people to fuel the economy sometimes they're the bad people in today's world while there's a group of people waiting for a handout from those that are willing to take the chance listen i'm just going to say it like it is if you went to if you went to college and you worked your tail off you didn't go out drinking you didn't go out partying you didn't stay up all night you weren't taking you know adderall day in the day to go to stay awake and something else at night and then party until four o'clock in the morning and you put the focus in you put the energy in and you got straight a's good for you congratulations you took ownership maybe you're even paying your own college debt congratulations for taking responsibility knowing it's on you that you want a bigger better future and you're going after it but what if you did all that you made those sacrifices you're paying the bill and someone else comes in someone else someone paid and i'm not saying it's bad i do it for my own kids but you paid all their college tuition was paid and they went to every single party and they partied all night and they took stuff to stay up and took stuff to go to bed and and i'm not judging in any way this is just a story they did all that and because they weren't at class because they didn't work hard because they didn't study because they didn't make the sacrifices you did they were failing they were failing and then at the end of the semester your professor came and said i know you guys that have been working hard and got straight a's i know you've been working hard but you know this other group with d's and f's they're really nice and i know they didn't do the work and i know they partied what let's do this let's give everyone a c plus just so we can make it even let's give the participation trophy to everyone because they're here how the heck would you feel you would be so pissed that you put in the work you did the effort you put in the effort and all of a sudden you're getting penalized you're getting penalized i should say because you did the work and someone else didn't think about this isn't it how it is sometimes in life and in business you go after your dreams no one knows that you had to go against your family and friends calling you crazy that you had to raise the money or put money on credit cards or you had to stay up all night week after week trying to figure this out you had to work on your own personal development because you wanted to keep things moving forward when you were scared to death when uncertainty was at an all-time high when you felt impostor syndrome about an inch away or a millimeter away from robbing your dreams you kept going forward you failed more than once you hired the wrong person you kept moving forward finally you get momentum finally you start getting energies finally you start hiring people finally you start hiring new people and doing new things and you start fueling the economy fueling your own life and then you hire more people and have more success and things keep going harder faster stronger and then you get to a certain point and what do people say wow she's so lucky and why is she having that new car and why did they move into that new neighborhood and i can't believe that they joined that country club let's penalize them they're wealthy they're rich it's like the modern day tax the rich because they don't pay enough right it's like let's penalize them for the success they've done like it magically came out of thin air listen let's stop being envious and start getting our own because if someone else can do it so can you listen now when i say this i don't want you to think i use that silly college analogy there's some people who struggle there's some people that work their tail off to try to get good grades and it doesn't work i watch that with my daughter sometimes right my son it's easy straight a student my daughter works really hard to get the grades that she has it's it's a little more difficult for her those people should be glorified because they're in the hunt they're working hard they're trying to figure it out but they're not blaming someone else they're not saying i'm not that smart so someone needs to fix this someone needs to wave a magic wand we should all get c pluses for doing nothing that's just not the way the world works if you like that there's a lot of countries around the world that pretty much allow you to be equal how does that work out how have they been throughout the history of time go spend six months there and see if you like it or we could say listen i'm in control of my own destiny i have the opportunity to do what i want to do in life but you are going to be judged by the things that you do if you're envious envious of someone else making money but you're binging out on netflix and you're spending hours and hours on social media and you're sitting around with your friends drinking coffee or having a cocktail complaining about all these other people really are you doing what it takes it's one of the rare times now i'm recording this while i'm taking a walk so we heard someone with a little mexican muse or spanish music which was awesome we heard cars going by but i had a message i want to share with you share with you today so i just clicked my phone on and hit record so whether you're watching this or listening to this audio maybe some of that's distracting but i hope you're listening to this message there is no one coming to save us there is no one to blame there is no easy button if you look at the most successful actors comedians business owners people in a great family with a great body people that have great personal development people that are good parents and have incredible kids none of it came easy they had to put the work no one hit a button and made it easy for them they had to do it and if you look at the people that it came too easy do you know this is not this is not in any way disrespect but do you know many trust fund kids if you know any of them that are balanced and happy and excited about what they've accomplished i don't but i surely know a lot of people that struggled and fought and were told no and criticized and and lost everything and had no respect from their family and friends because they thought they were a dreamer and thought they were crazy i know a lot of them that have made the money they always dreamed of have have donated more money than anyone could imagine are happy as heck because they went after it and realized they were in control so maybe this is just a little rant today maybe it's just the mood i'm in to say don't expect anything from anybody expect that your government will let you down expect your friends might let you down expect it don't judge them and realize this is on me if i want more let me learn what other people have done to get more if i want more i might have to change my mindset i might have to read those books study the past model someone who's already been successful if i want more out of my life i gotta stop waiting with my hand out and time to get up at five a.m and figure out how to gain the capabilities needed to live the life you want and if you're happy with where your life is and you don't want more well then you're probably still not listening to this you probably got mad at me earlier and if you are someone that wants more then let's just do it you know seems easy for me to say right i i get to live in the house of my dreams it's my home behind me i feel blessed to have that but i lived in a trailer park as a kid i lived with my dad in a bathroom for almost a year of our lives where we couldn't afford anything else i got made fun of for having dyslexia i barely got out of high school but i had a dream and a goal and i realized no one was coming to save me i had a mom who worked three jobs to make 90 bucks a week and had nothing and no quality of life and i couldn't wait to retire her and by 27 i was sending my mom a check every week i've been sending her a check every week for 20 plus years i bought my mom a house i bought my dad a house i bought my parents their cars i get to give my life my children a life that i could have never imagined with security and strength that they could carry on a legacy i don't say that to brag i say that because that's what's possible when you decide it's possible remember stop waiting for someone to fix it stop getting sucked into the news doesn't matter what your politics are get sucked into you get sucked into unleashing that full potential that god or the universe whatever you believe in gave you when you unleash that you realize you don't need anybody and there's no limits to what you can achieve number seven the last one before some very special bonus clips is listen to your voice with jay shannon i start off the chapter with this beautiful thought from charles horton cooley and i love telling it because it's just it's just the best and i think it was written in like the 1900s and he said today the challenge is i'm not what i think i am i'm not what you think i am i am what i think you think i am it's crazy ben and it's like it blows my mind every time i say it gives me the chills like i feel it and the reason why i start with identity is because i think that's the root of all our challenges and the first step to thinking like a monk is starting at the root not starting at the symptoms or the superficial or the surface level but let's go to the root if you're playing a role if you're wearing a mask if you're dressed in clothes that are not yours then you end up living a life that's not yours and in the book i give this example of method acting yes yeah amazing i'm a massive movie junkie and i love method actors so people like heath ledger of course from the dark knight series you've got jared leto so jared leto when he played the joker in this is not in the book in suicide squad he used to send dead rats in the mail to his co-stars he did because he was trying to get into the mindset of how someone that perverted would behave and then daniel dave lewis when he was filming for gangs of new york he's actually wearing these coats that are centuries old so that he can get into character when he's off camera yeah when he can feel it right he's not wearing watches he's not carrying around his mobile phone they're speaking in the accents and he talks about how he actually went crazy because guess what when you fake being someone for so long you think it's your reality and that's what happens to all of us we play a role at work we play a role at home we play a role with our family we play a role with our friends and then we think that role is us and we lose ourselves and to me that is the core reason why we're chasing things that are not important to us we're unhappy despite reaching accolades and we feel dissatisfied so what should our identity be then our identity should start with unlearning everything that we think we know about ourselves how do we unlearn so the best method of unlearning is this first and i'm going to get really strategic and tactical because i think that people need to know what to do rather than a concept the first thing you do is write down everything you currently are chasing in your life make a lot of goals your dreams your goals your dreams published anything that you're currently chasing and pursuing okay write them down you can write down three you can random five you can write down 10 depending on how ambitious you are second line ask yourself what is the source of that where did you get that idea did you get that idea from a tv show you saw did you get that idea from your parents did you get that idea from your mom and your dad your sister your cousin did you get that idea because your friend just got proposed to on instagram did you get that idea because your friend just got promoted did you get that idea because you just broke up right or did you get an idea because you just feel it when you do it then you feel alive give me a specific example that you had when you were 15 18 was like a goal or accomplishment that you were chasing and where it came from absolutely so my my goal when i was young was to be an investment banker and when i really asked myself where did that come from it came because in my community small community in london the most successful person financially was an investment banker so i believed you had to be an investment banker to be successful right so when i ask myself that question where does that come from it comes from society's version of success not mine and then the third thing you ask yourself is well then what is mine what is coming from inside of me and if you just do that three-step process now what you're doing is you're filtering out the noise and you're starting to listen to your voice the thing is you've got a voice inside of you but it's quiet it's like it's like jay like take note of me like lewis like you know and it's just like trying to get through and the noise of everyone else's opinions is so loud so this way you filter it how do we start to find out what we truly want then not based on what other people think is success how do we how do we listen to ourselves and if you've been chasing something your whole life how do you say well actually that's not what i want this is yeah one of the biggest mistakes we make is that we confuse inexperience with being unqualified so because we've not tried a lot of things we just naturally believe that we can't be that good at them so if i've never spoken on a stage i just think oh i'm probably not good at that or if i've never played golf i'd probably think i'm probably not good at that and so we start writing off things without even trying them so the best method i can share with someone is take the next month take the next four weekends in the month that gives you eight days and get really tactical every single day that's why you're playing tennis a lot right now yeah take the eight days go join a course an online course or workshop go and shadow a friend go to a seminar a conference go to reading a book listen to podcasts go and expose yourself to eight different things in a month eight different things eight different things in a month and guess what in a month you will have learned what you probably would have learned in eight years because most of us test one new thing a year maybe maybe if that exactly right like some people don't even do that but if you do eight different things in a month and this is how you have to see it if you went to eight different restaurants in a month you ask yourself after you eat a meal like i had that burrito or i had that taco did i like it right the first question you asked yourself is did i gotta try it first you gotta try it first you gotta go to the restaurant yeah there's no point so you're gonna say did i like it the second question you ask yourself is why did i or why did i not like it like why is so important i think too many people just go i like it or i don't like it why didn't i like and the third question you have to ask yourself really really simple is do i want to do it again and if you do that's where you start uncovering is so my point is inexperience do not misinterpret inexperience for a lack of qualification i'm guessing you're doing things in your life right now that you would have ridden off if you didn't try i know you've talked about writing a bestselling book you've talked about it with this amazing documentary this is a documentary i mean i never believed i could do half the things i'm doing today and you know that because we met when i was just creating content on social media and it's like now when you see things expand you're like you don't know until you give it a go and ask yourself do i enjoy it yes so i grew up very competitive and you talk about competition as one of these i can't remember if it's like four or five different things competition is one of the things that's actually like um i wish i had the page yeah here but you talk about competition as like not the highest level of ourself yes in my entire life i was competitive was driven to beat other people and in the last seven years i've shifted so much i'm still competitive still win but i'm not like hurt if i lose i'm not upset i'm not it doesn't defeat me emotionally whereas before it used to be like this was my identity winning i had to win now it's like okay what did i learn what did i gain from the experience did i have fun did i enjoy it did i inspire people even if i didn't win in this situation in in chapter two you talk about negativity and the quote you use is is it it is impossible to build one's own happiness on the unhappiness of others does competition and unhappiness link together in your mind like if we need to be competitive to be happy in order someone else loses how do we how do we manage ourselves in this competitive world of winning in sports of building a bigger business some of these different things being number one in new york times best sell this how do we manage that with this world brand but also wanting to be happy at the same time yeah what a great question so the way i see it is that competition in and of itself is not good or bad and and this is like the monk mindset on 99 of things that this mug is not good or bad it can be filled with water or it could be filled with poison yes and so competition i'll give you an example as monks our competition is in how much love and respect we showed to each other that's your confidence that's what you compete on or how long can we meditate no no no i can better take longer than you so if any monk is hit and i did this plenty of times really if i sat there and i thought oh yeah look at him he's scratching his back he got out like he moved your meditation just got destroyed all the value and so monks will never ask how long you meditate they focus on how deep you meditate and someone who meditates deep doesn't go on about how deep it was but but you compete for showing respect you compete for serving each other you compete for how well you can collaborate and i feel like you live this yes like i i i feel like you haven't seen you used to do that yeah but you did it now like you think like a monk like i feel like we're always trying to find a way where we can be better friends to each other and support each other and so you're competing on that and and that's a positive competition that i think you can have so you can still use and this is the beautiful thing about the monk mindset you can use any thing in a positive way now in your second question about what does it mean about business and new york times about seller lists and being number one this is how i see it if while you're writing your book if while you're recording your podcast if you're sitting there going i hope this is going to be number one this better be number one i hope i sell more i hope i sold more copies than this person who's launching at the same time because that's the only way well guess what now the quality of your output right now has just dropped because guess what you're now living 75 in the future and you're 25 right now and guess what this 25 is gonna define that future goal and result and your happiness and your happiness whether you get the result totally whereas for me when i was writing my book and of course i want my book to be a bestselling book of course i want my podcast to do well of course we don't do anything for it to be lost like no one does that but what i do know is that when i'm creating when i'm producing when i'm writing that's all i'm doing see the truth is that only two percent of the world's population can multitask now the crazy thing is where are those two presents when people hear that they think i'm in that oh i'm in that two percent like everyone thinks that they're in there but most of us are 98 yeah and the truth is there is no such thing as multitasking what it is is fast switching between two tasks so the quality is just dropping because you can actually you cannot do two things at one time you cannot no one genuinely can do two things at once i guess you could maybe like pat your head and do this the same yeah you can't do something productive at the same time right or creative and so what i'm saying is that when you're sitting here going this needs to be number one you are reducing that things ability to be number one because it now doesn't have your full focus right so so that's the difference maker that you can want to be number one there's nothing wrong with that but you can't keep comparing what number one is to someone else's goal too because everyone's got a different trajectory like there are some people that are kind of come in and do really well at one thing and you're going to do really well at another and that's why competition has to first be in your space like don't compete in a space that's not yours right because now you're just trying to be someone else again and you get lost your identity exactly the biggest difference between you and the people who you look up to are that they started and you're still thinking about it it's one of the most frustrating things in helping entrepreneurs that i deal with on a day-to-day basis is that seeing so much potential in people seeing so much heart and love and cares like you you could be serving so much and helping so much and having such a big impact and and we're stuck we're stuck and this was me too i was stuck it took me forever to get started and i thought i had to have the the perfect cameraman my first video if you go back and watch my channel i had my friend come and film it and record it for me because i was worried about it not being perfect enough that i didn't know the gear and didn't know the microphone and the lighting and the setup and i i memorized the script because i didn't want to say the wrong words i had to be perfect uh most of my early videos were still mostly voice over because i could write a script and have it perfect and just have b-roll and it wouldn't be me on camera afraid of making mistakes and saying the wrong things and messing up and that's one of the main reasons why it took me so long to grow you know if you look at my journey of making what for five years seven thousand subscribers something like that it was i was stuck i was i was i was too afraid to do the next thing i was too afraid to get in the race i was making content at least that was one decent thing for whatever reason i stay consistent on on doing stuff but i was afraid to take the next step the big step to go off and do it and a lot of you are already way better than than i was when i started and when i'm on interviews and i'm i'm doing uh events and presentations and i see the audience and i see who's there and i see the skill and the and the heart just the this is the thing that kills me the most it's like the hearts like you want you've got such a good heart you want to do so much and then there's just no action there's no momentum because of the fear if you could make one change this year that would really move the needle it would be to stop judging yourself for the content that you're making or the product you're putting out or the service and just expect it to suck and keep going so when people ask me should i should i do this business or this business should i do that business or this one's like well i don't know you know like at the end of the day it's gonna be what you love doing all of them could work every business model can work and has worked it's what's gonna be the right one for you and you won't know until you get out there and start doing it right it's like how do you know what your favorite food is until you get out there and do it how do you know if you like coffee or not you know you have to go off and you take a sip and then you find out you can't think your way through this so you can't think your way you can have some planning but your planning won't save you at the end of the day you have to go off and just do something about it and in the doing you'll figure out what makes you come alive and keep going so let's make it practical like let's give you some steps for how to actually get in the race and start taking some action step one understand or at least tell yourself that great ideas flow through you great ideas flow through you that because you came up with the idea that it's a good idea stop judging and stop telling yourself you suck stop telling yourself someone like you can't do it that great ideas flow through you this is a good idea you need to go do something about it right even just telling yourself that shortcuts the fear because all of the reasons in your head for why you can't do it is really just fear if you think about making content and you're worried about the microphone and the camera and the gear and all that that's just fear talking it's just you're afraid that it won't be good and so you're trying to cover your bases and we come up with all these logical reasons why we can't do it but really just fear talking so cut through the fear by telling yourself that great ideas flow through you that you don't want to be sitting here three years later still stuck in the same spot right what's the difference well how much action you took over those three years and most of us are are stuck in inaction because we're paralyzed by fear and we've come up with rational reasons why we can't do the thing so one great ideas flow through you trust them and do something about them two apply what i call the two percent difference and so most of the time what's the first thing we do when we come with an idea when you come up with an id you think it's a great idea you're going to start a channel you're going to write a book you're going to create this product service company whatever you come up with a great idea the first thing we do is usually planning right plan plan plan i need to plan here's what my perfect world looks like i'm going to plan all the way out and what ends up happening is you spend your best energy planning the first step in my opinion should not be planning the first step should be some kind of imperfect action because what ends up happening is you get all this energy and motivation and you feel like you're unstoppable and you can do it this is such a good idea and then you start spending your time planning and researching when does that happen is you wake up the next day and the next day and your energy and your belief starts to drop it's like oh what was i thinking i can't do that who am i to do that the the doubts and insecurities and the fears all start to pop in and so you you stop and nothing ends up happening besides a list of ideas and you're planning and research but that doesn't that doesn't get you paid that doesn't get the service out there doesn't actually help anybody and so planning is important it just shouldn't be the first step the first step should be some kind of imperfect action just start doing something anything you you want to make a youtube channel great pull out your phone and make a video what do you see on the video it doesn't matter just speak from the heart like hey i want to start a youtube channel i've been thinking about doing this for a bunch of years and i've always been too afraid and now i've decided that i'm going to go off and do it and i don't know what i'm going to talk about i'm going to do my best and hopefully you'll support me all right see you soon post there's your video was it great no but it's everything because you you started doing something you think about a a fitness plan that people are going on what do people normally do on a fitness plan well you you're researching all do i do crossfit do i do weights do i do cardio do i do zumba do i do salsa dancing and you're so caught up we all get this we all get so caught up in what the perfect plan is that we never actually do anything where the the best thing you can do is go and do ten push-ups right now or five or two however many you can do are those two push-ups going to make any difference for the long-term health no i mean no you're not building muscle from two push-ups obviously but the mo the act of momentum is the thing that matters because in doing the two push-ups maybe tomorrow you do four the next day you do six next thing you do eight and you're starting to build the habit of somebody who does push-ups that then can lead you to do more research to find out oh i was doing the push-ups all wrong here's a better way to do it or i should be doing this instead you'll learn as you go and the research in the plan is important it just can't be the first step so step one again is expect that great ideas flow through you that that idea that came to you is good is worthy you should do it you should at least try it step number two is two percent difference what that means is don't plan to get the hundred percent for focus on the first two percent most of us will plan to figure out what the 100 looks like you won't know what's the first two percent you can take action on right now and just go do it and then step three is just expect to suck at the beginning we expect we don't expect to be great at the start but we expect to be good we expect to be at least average at the start of whatever we do we never think it's going to be easy i mean some people do i guess but for the most part you don't think whatever you're getting into is going to be easy but you don't expect it to be as hard as it is and you don't expect to be as bad as you are at the thing and it doesn't mean that you're bad as a human it just means that you're bad at the skill and so how do you get skills well by by practicing by doing it by training right and so you're going to be way worse than you thought you would be at the beginning that's okay you just don't have the skill yet so i go into any new thing expecting to suck just completely expect to suck expect it to be a total failure and if it's not then great and every day you get up and you do it again you'll be a little bit better and you'll suck a little bit less because you're developing the skills you can get really really good at something if you have passion energy and you're pouring time into actually improving at it where most people will just make one thing see how much it sucks and then never go back to it so just expect it to be terrible at the beginning don't worry so much about how much of a failure that first one was and then you keep going keep you make another one tomorrow and another one tomorrow another tomorrow and you will get better if you follow that process this is this is how you actually start becoming the person who you want to be you start getting the results and the impact that you want to have you've got the heart and the talent and the the abilities and the care the difference is just there's no momentum or there's not enough momentum for what you're capable of and so if you follow those three steps right great ideas flow through you believe it follow the two percent difference instead of planning research and do something you need action and then three expect to suck and keep going you get that momentum you need start changing your life [Music] because you made it this far in a video i want to celebrate you most people start and don't finish most people never actually follow through most people say they want something but they don't ever do the work to actually get it but you are different you are special believe nation you made it here all the way to the end and i love you so as a special celebration if you put a hashtag believe down in the comments below on this video i will showcase you and celebrate you somewhere on the screen in a future video because you are awesome if you want to know the seven steps for massive success check the video right there next to me i think you'll love it continue to believe and we'll see you then you have to be all in and it's the hardest thing to do because if it fails then you can feel like a failure i think of this idea of performance necessity two stories kind of come to mind one is i was working with an olympic gold medalist sprinter