MINDSET SHIFT That You Need to Make IF You Want to Be WEALTHY! | Dean Graziosi | Top 10 Rules

Key Takeaways

listen don't wait for permission from your husband from your parents from your children from anyone remember god gave it to you not them the universe gave it to you not them you see i really believe sometimes our subconscious is really powerful it's like this powerhouse computer and when things don't go right it says it's not your fault your husband's not all in with you it's not your fault inflation is here it's not your fault we have covid it's our fault we have shutdowns and all i know is if you have a millimeter a crumb of you saying i could do this but if there's any but that means you're not taking complete ownership even if someone else lets you down even if the partner robs all your money even if your spouse cheated on you i get that a lot of you are here for a lot of different reasons money health life passion what if you just took complete ownership i made this mistake i waited too long i accepted this i'm not saying it's right but here's what i want to tell you when you decide that it's all on you oh my god it's so liberating because then it's all on you if it wins that's you if it doesn't win that's you need motivation watch a top 10 with believe nation hey it's evan carmichael and i make these videos because you are probably the most ambitious person in your circle but you know you're capable of more and you get that push by surrounding yourself with the best so today let's learn from one of the best dean graziosi and my take on his top 10 rules of success enjoy [Music] what if we decided to take ownership of all of it what do you think is the most costly advice in the world it's your broke friend telling you how to get rich it's your single friend telling you what you should do with your relationship we are letting unqualified people tell us where our future should be be and the way i look at it is i don't want anybody steering my ship if something pops in your head and go damn i'm letting him i'm letting her i'm letting that thought steer my ship listen at the end of our lives let's just again i i digress a little bit but i want to anchor each one of these things at the end of our lives if you have a chance to meet with god meet with your maker whatever you believe that is do you want to give excuses on why it didn't work because you listened to other people my mom said that wouldn't work my husband thought that was a crazy idea my cousin diane said you know you need money to make money or that men are evil and once they cheat every man cheats or every man's bad like i don't know what that is but would you would you hate to be at the end of your life and realize that you missed out on love you missed out on connection missed out on that business because you took bad advice i always think about this i i do these little tricks that maybe you think are mean but i always think of if you met your maker at the end of your life imagine if god pulled out his iphone because of course he's got an iphone imagine god pulled out his iphone and played you a video of the woman or man you could have been think about that one for a minute imagine seeing the three-minute highlight reel of the love you could have had the health you could have enjoyed the impact you could have made on the world man i think about that and it just freaking like hell no it's go time and will we fail of course but i would so much rather be on the field playing and failing than being in the sidelines wearing someone else's jersey on the back of my shirt i am not putting out someone else's name on my jersey it's graziosi on the back and i'm in the game and that's in the game of life rule number two be congruent there's nothing more powerful than congruency to reach your full potential to have confidence to be courageous you know listen we all have friends that say they want the passion back in their relationship do we does anybody here have a friend that would love passion or a connection back in a relationship a friend that tells you anybody have a friend that tells you they want passion or connection in their relationship but there's they're on facebook looking up old high school boyfriends or girlfriends dm'ing people when nobody's knowing i know a couple people in my life that say they want in front stage they want the connection they want to love again but when no one's watching they're kind of doing the stuff that derails that people who say they want to be in the best shape of their life this is the year i want to be healthy my kids deserve me to be healthy but when no one's watching they skip the workout or they go to the gym but they sit on their phone the whole time and when they should order something a little healthier they order the something they shouldn't order but when no one's watching it's no big deal right and then they're telling their friends at lunch i just don't know why the weight won't come off i'm in the gym five days a week i'm eating so great bs you're not doing the work when no one's watching right you say you want that business to thrive to go to another level but you did all the easy parts and now you got to dig into marketing you got to let your friends know you're going in this business it's a little uncomfortable so when no one's watching you're working on your logo or the name of your site rather than the marketing that actually gets you out there or the phone call you need to make to close the deal but you tell your friends it's not working but really you're not doing the work you should be doing when no one's watching you guys feeling me on this one congruency is so unbelievable and that's where values come from that's where character comes from i am by far not saying i'm perfect in any shape way or form but i have an obsession now especially at this phase of my life i want to be so congruent that if my my my wife my kids put a hidden camera on me for a week and they watch it like damn he does the same stuff he talks about i would love for you guys to see me at a restaurant having a conversation with my family you're in the booth behind me and you don't know that i'm i don't know you're there and you get done go damn that's the same guy i met when we were on camera that is so powerful and the reason it's the theme for my kids is listen 15 or 13 who has kids right raise your hand if you have children in today's world can they pretty much do anything they want on social i mean they could be online they could find porn in two minutes they could do a million things they at 15 i know my my daughter has friends that already drink already do some other stuff right they could and they could lie about all of it turn off their locations and figure it out i have to train my kids that not train give them the ability to understand is who you are when no one's watching is who you really are i said you could act perfect in front of me perfect in front of your teachers but if you're doing the things when no one's watching then that's you god the universe your character and and my kids are far from perfect but they understand core values because of that so today i'm taking a little longer as we start here this morning i want to share with you that that could be a theme or come up with your own 2022 theme but i want to do the work when i think about that when no one's around i want to do the work to be a bet i when no one was watching for four days straight i obsessed on what i was going to teach you today it'll seem really easy thing like it's just coming off my tongue i have this whole thing laid out to get you the results you deserve you desire right i did the work when no one's watching so now when i'm front stage it looks easy looks amazing but i really got my own notes and cheat sheet here my daughter and son both pitch they love winning games you don't win on stage you know when you win you win when you're my daughter and son are out back at 4 30 today my daughter will be with her pitching coach and she'll pitch for two hours she'll pitch until her arm hurts she does that on a regular basis but when she goes and wins a game it's because of what she did once no one's watching so did you ever hear that uh that joke it's a a gambler non a gambler who gambles nonstop passes away he wakes up and all of a sudden he's in a casino he's dressed to the nines and every time he walks up to a slot machine he puts in money and he pulls the handle and money comes out he's like oh my god i won he goes to another and puts money and pulls the handle oh my god i won and he keeps going and all of a sudden he puts money in he's just winning every time he puts money and he's winning every time finally he's got this big bucket of quarters or money and he walks up to one of the you know the people dressed nice and he's like oh my god he said i didn't think heaven would be like this and the guy looked at him and said who said you're in heaven you see we all think we want it easy we all think we just want the we want to open the gates and all the money and the happiness and the joy just pour out why when people hit lotto do they go broke because they had the resources handed them but handed to them but they never found a way to be resource fault you see how we get resourceful is actually understanding that problems are the path to our bigger future so if we handle bigger problems we get bigger results rule number three focus on relationships even if you're in a career and you're in a job that you like or you're gonna start a business or you're in a business this is a time when people are uncertain we must serve more give more if you have a product make it better if you do customer support improve the customer support i'm telling you in times like this the winners are the people that create now once you hear the difference what companies will go out of business are companies that are based on transactions only companies that will go out of business are based on transactions only compared to based on relationships be a relationship business owner be a relationship marketer be in relationship when you sell no matter what your product is no matter what your services when you are a relationship focused company or individual in your company and you want to raise go up the ladder of your career when you focus on relationships when you focus on listening to others understanding where people are rather than just transactional things change forever michael gerber's book ages ago i remember and i'm going to paraphrase i read that book a decade or more ago is i remember saying do you know what the difference between doctors being sued and not for malpractice anybody remember that in michael gerber's book it was ages ago i read it you know what the difference was eight minutes doctors who spent 10 minutes or less with a client were way more likely to be sued than doctors who spent 18 minutes or more the only determining factor was a relationship because they come into your room doctor comes in if you're a relationship how you doing you're not feeling so good you got a temperature oh i think it's i think it's this that and the other thing okay take care and you're out that's just a guy another guy comes it's oh my god isabel how's your daughter doing did she went off to college right oh that's good she did she like in college great and they have a communication 18 minutes compared to 10 is the difference between a malpractice lawsuit or not so if you're in business have a career want to expand this is the year to serve more love more go deeper what has hesitation already cost you your family doesn't need you to hesitate your family needs you to be bold the world needs you to be bold because at the end of the day remember what i said earlier about that conversation with your maker would you rather say i hesitated i was a little nervous i waited or would you rather say i went forward even though i was scared to death and i failed for a while which one would you rather choose would you rather choose trying and failing or hesitation in nothing hesitation in nothing or trying and failing because if you try and fail what are you going to do next you're going to try again and if you fail what are you going to do you're going to try again and with lauren what are you going to do after that i know tony robbins does this and i love it you're going to try it again and there's no way if you continue trying there's no way you don't get to the finish line it's impossible those that don't get to the finish line just found a certain place where they say enough i'm not going to try anymore i'm going to sit right here and what happens five years goes by just like that rule number four build yourself first when somebody tells me money doesn't buy happiness i'm sorry i'm going to say one bad word today [ __ ] [ __ ] money can serve in such a great way money is bad when people do bad things with it money can be amazing when you do the right thing what i'm telling you today this is not what i thought i was going to share put your oxygen mask on first that's what you need to do you need to take uncomfortable action you need to push yourself if you're a part of our mastermind family welcome be here push yourself stop waiting for someone else to do it take uncomfortable action do the things you need to do even if it's at your own pace you don't have to be roger rabbit going 100 miles an hour but you got to move forward don't wait no one's coming to do this for you whatever you have whatever capabilities whatever part of our company you are or anything you're doing if you really want to make a difference if you want to be in that place where you can have your oxygen mask on first i'm gonna be really honest with you it's not easy i've doubted myself a million times i felt like an imposter a million times i've had my own family look me in the eye and say stop being a dreamer dean that's for other people you didn't go to college we don't come from that kind of money you'll never be that they don't say that when i land my own jet in my hometown and my whole family gets off my own plane right i don't say that to be a jerk i don't you don't even see me do you ever see me post a picture of my plane on my instagram i'm not the guy that holds up money or shows you in my plane or my house that's the house of my dreams i don't do that i don't want people to follow me because i hold stacks of money on a on a facebook ad right i want people to know me for the heart i have but i'm blessed to have more success than i ever could a dream possible and i get to take care of the people i love i got to put my own oxygen mask on years ago and now i put it on a lot more people than you'd ever know that's not all i donate to we've done it in a lot of different areas and this year i want to donate i don't know about the feelings you have but who who felt that in their heart when i shared what i was able to do right who in here has a desire to help other people once you're secure can i give can i share something with you and i want to share this today because it just feels on my heart i'm going to tell you to be selfish be selfish be selfish for the next three years go get yourself strong go put your own oxygen mask on put some money in the bank crush your company be selfish with your time be selfish with your income be greedy on the amount of money you want to make i'm telling you be greedy be selfish you know why because if you go all in if you stop thinking i wish i could do more be more go all in and make the money get secure and put your oxygen mask on and what you can do in five years from now what you can do in seven years from now what you could do in 12 years from now is unbelievable but we need this moment of us we need this moment of getting ourselves so many of us so many of you i see right now are the most giving people you've ever any anyone knows you're the person that gives the most you know what you're doing you're putting oxygen masks on everybody else and you can barely breathe you're out there helping everybody let's do this let's do this let's do this and you're barely breathing you're like here's an oxygen mask here's an oxygen mask when you need to hold it to your face i love the story of andrew carnegie right what did andrew carney get a certain pace of his life you know what he said i'm going to spend half the first half of my life making a ton of money and i'm going to send spend the second half of my life giving it all away also to make sure you're actually taking action after watching this video i've designed a special free worksheet just for this video the worksheet will highlight all the lessons learned in this video as well as pull out our three favorite learnings and quotes that will inspire you to actually do something the worksheet will also give you space to write down what your key takeaways are and your specific plan of action to make sure you're getting results if you want the worksheet designed specifically for this video absolutely for free there's a link in the description below go click on it and start building the momentum in your life and your business i'll see you there rule number five improve your communication skills i want to tell you i saw because i obsess on communication because i know my wife because i love being in love i love the fact that my wife still looks at me every morning like it's the first week we met it is the most magical thing i could ever share with anyone i walk in a room if my wife looks at me she looks at me a way that takes my knees out she still looks at me like i'm the greatest human she's ever seen and i feel so blessed and it just makes me mirror that back to her but i'm gonna tell you a little something my wife's a badass she had her own business when i met her she was voted the top hair stylist in arizona eight out of ten years she has her own business right next door it's not easy being married to me because i am like a steamroller and life kind of because my business has gotten so big and my schedule is so nuts a lot of life has to revolve around me i hate to say it but it's true it's i travel a lot i have to go and speak i have i'm partners with tony my partner tony robbins i help also run tony's company and the company we own together and my own company and i own over 100 different houses and i have a real estate division and i'm writing a new book end and end and i want to be a good dad to my older children and and man a lot of life revolves around me so you marry a powerful amazing woman who's used to having her freedom control of her time control of her business control of everything and all of a sudden you marry a man who's like you're like hey i gotta be it's like no no babe we're jumping on a plane i gotta deal the clothes in malibu and or i gotta go to down to florida and talk to tony and i want to tell you my wife's business is amazing but in comparison my wife has a great year it could be hundreds and hundreds of thousands i have a great year it's tens of millions of dollars so there's sometimes i'm being really personal i want to tell you how like why communication is so important she could say hey babe but i was going to do this thing and i in my head i'm like you're going to do a 500 hair extension thing that you want to do i'm going to close a 20 million deal scrap that get on the plane we're out of here right those are some of the things i know i did in previous relationships mine's bigger mine's more important it's about me be happy we're wealthy you get to have freedom jump on the plane do what the hell i say can you see how as a guy that's easy to just say i got this i'm working i got this hunt don't worry you never have to work again close your shop close it down we don't need it that's how my my previous self thought of things just being honest this is how we grow but now i have to think about that all the time and i make compromises and i communicate with her in a way babe what you did is absolutely amazing and if you want me to shift that i'll move my meeting and we adjust and we communicate and she'll have the nerve to come to me and say babe all last month it was all about you can i work on a little bit like oh my god did i do that to you all right tell me and we'll communicate and we'll talk i want to tell you in my 30s it would have been like uh mind is multi-millionaire yours is peanuts my way or the highway without even realizing i was saying that can you guys understand i'm not a bad human i didn't ever think i was doing i thought i was working hard for my family it's like i'm talking about leaving legacy i want to make sure my children and my dream children and my great-grandchildren are protected and i have you guys to worry about in my project next family and self-education family and my partnerships i have so much to worry about it's me how do you think my relationship would be with my wife if it was all about me how do you think it would be when i walked in a room if i squashed her dreams and her desires and just made it all about me and didn't communicate i'm just telling you the communication skills you think you have right now that are good they could be better because if you would have asked me in my 40s about if i was a good communicator i would have said one of the best in the world because i can close deals great i also went through a divorce in my 40s how good of a communicator was i rule number six keep on going life can pull us in a lot of directions the craziness of the outside world can allow us to forget about our dreams or find imposter syndrome or lose our confidence lose our drive lose our desire lose our focus we get overwhelmed on not knowing where to start and then we don't start at all all those things happen their life add in two and a half years of covid now at that we're going into an economic winter and inflation high which is gas and food and all the prices are high we add that we're in a polarized time in history where it feels like everybody's trying to push us apart when we're trying to come back together anybody feel that way wouldn't we rather all just get together and find our common ground the media and the world want to tell us how different we are but i think we have way more in common than everybody's telling us and if we all were exactly the same wouldn't that just be a boring world right so we're in this time of of a couple of two and a half years of of of covid and then we go into a place where there's now we're in an economic downturn um recession looming i think by july 1 they'll officially announce we're in a recession if you ask somebody we're actually in it and i was in business for myself in 2009 or in 2007 we went to a recession but i was also in business for myself in 1999 who remembers the the internet crash right of 99. i was in business then as well naive and didn't even know it was a thing by 2007 i understood it more and had smarter friends and we made transitions and shifts in advance so we were able to thrive through that shifting time if i was just starting in business if i wanted to shift my life my income my success my happiness my joy what would i like to learn so that's really i'd love to say that there's more thought to it than that we need this connection we need to be plugged in we need not to forget what our dreams are we need not to let imposter syndrome be in control of us we can't let the inner self doubt say play small especially now with the world shifting i just want to tell you this is not a time to sit on your hands i did an interview uh two or three days ago with tom bilyeu i don't know if anybody any of you have ever seen uh impact theory with tom bilyeu on youtube he's really good dear friend he's great he interviews wonderful people he's really smart so i took my kids with me i had a couple podcasts i went and saw my friend brennan burchard and then i flew down to go see tom bilyeu and i brought my older kids my 13 and 15 year old and let them see what what their dad does i'll tell you a story about that in a minute um and as i'm as i was talking with tom and talking about where the world is going and the shifts happening i'm going to use the real estate space as an example when the economy shifts interest rates went up 0.75 all of these things affect and and if you're old enough to understand there's a bigger by-product coming right the housing industry there's no way it can't be affected it's coming right but when you're in an industry that's been booming for 10 or 12 years and if you're in the mortgage industry or the housing if you sell houses if you build houses if you build a part like if you're in it the last thing you want to do is it face it go no maybe it's a little hiccup oh this will happen quick right and we get a little amnesia up to the way it used to be so instead of saying no no it's going to be fine if i truly care about you guys what i want to do today is help prepare you help anticipate not make it worse than it is but not make it better than it is you know when things change when it's scary when something new happens what does we always talk about we flight or fight right we got the flight or fight mechanism tom biliu said something i never heard he said the third f he thinks is even more relevant in today's world and that's freeze that's freeze that's what i want you to think about today that was my notes here my team puts together nice cheat sheets for me and i write all over them so much and so sloppy i can't read my own writing but what i wrote was the three f's fight flight or freeze with all the crap that's led up to this recession this inflation of two and a half years of covid where covet did things like made us realize screw that job of me going in every day and not being with my family not doing something i love being unsure missing like screw that i'm out on that 82 percent of people right now want to quit or leave their job to do something new or do their own thing never before has it been the worst it was ever prior to this was 48 and that was a couple decades ago so 82 percent of people are like covid made me realize maybe you went through a little hardship but with that shift comes uncertainty right and then all of a sudden you slam into gas the highest it was and inflation and now you're like should i not buy my house should i wait to buy should i wait to sell should i what should i do should i invest should i take my money out of the stock market is my 401k gonna go away forever should it go back today take it out and sit in cash but if i do that they say cash is trash so if i sit on cash it's trash but if i leave it in the market it goes down ah right and all of a sudden this uncertainty builds and if uncertainty builds more than i've seen in my 53 years on this planet guess what happens freeze i don't know if i should do my self-education industry i don't know if i should do anything with investment i don't know and when you when you feel that way you freeze you sit on your hands you do nothing this is not a time to freeze in fact this is a time to thrive this is a time to gain capabilities because most people are going to freeze more than you know and we're not there yet if people smarter than me where we're going with i get the chance to have great conversations more and more uncertainty will climb confidence will go down and more and more freezing will happen rule number seven believe it's the power of you can't i really want you to hear hear this because i this is stuff i've already taught you or you've probably already heard but i want to give you some catch phrases i want to give you some catch phrases that you go oh i get that right anybody here listen to matthew mcconaughey's book green lights raise your hand if you did such a good book oh my god any i don't know if you listen to it but he's like you know he's an actor and he's a storyteller and he's one crazy dude and way crazier than you thought and and really a good dude like because he's evolved and he grew uh good family man all that stuff but the whole point the name of the book is green lights and his whole point the green light is in life when things go sideways and this didn't happen someone lets you down right the tony robbins life happens for us not to us a lot of times when it was something that went totally sideways or he gets stuck with a a foster family that is absolutely insane in australia and he can't leave for a year and he's going crazy all these things that he thought were like the end of his life a red light when he looked back there were actually a green light wow that gave me the gift to understand this it gave me the ability to act gave me the ability to understand that trouble with my dad made me a better human here that trouble my mom made me a better husband right and all those things and he just he anchored that when something's going sideways in most cases it's a green light and throughout the book i'm not going to try to pretend to talk like matthew mcconaughey but through the book you know he gets to a point and all of a sudden he goes green light and now in my head the reason i'm sharing this because i want to talk about the power if you can't is i love little things like that because you're going through a tough time like damn why is this happening and all of a sudden your brain goes green light you're like oh all right just like that green light phrase i want you to think of you can't as a new trigger of like oh yes i can you see i've embodied that when you think hey i'm going to launch my knowledge industry my self-education i want to launch my course my coaching program my high ticket offer i'm going to launch my next level online business during a recession and people in your family are going to go oh you can't do that friends are going to say oh you can't do some of that now say you can't do it during this presidency or you can't do it over the last presidency you can't do it over the next one and then what happens is your inner self-doubt if you guys ever read millionaire success habits i call it the inner villain will say you can't do this you've tried before you're too old too young you don't understand technology you're an introvert all these things happen and that voice goes you can't you can't and here's what's so sad the majority of the world go yeah maybe i can't but what i've trained myself to do it's why i wrote it in that book and why i'm going to give you this little thing today is when that voice comes in your ear or someone says it to you or it comes from inside you can't means i must right when i look back god i was so lucky because i didn't have a lot of mentors when i was younger but i remember family and friends telling me my i can't and i remember thinking in my head they're right i don't have money not that smart i've never done this before but who the heck no way i must now right my my 12th grade yearbook my my saying was like no one knows me now but you'll hear me someday and it was that same philosophy i don't know where i got it from maybe it's watching my mom's struggle and i wanted to take care of her but i just remember everybody saying you're not that smart if you're not going to college if you're not doing this if you don't have money it takes money to make money my guidance counselor literally and maybe you guys can appreciate someone who said this in your life at one point my guidance counselor literally told me not exaggerating i'm not making this up that i should go if i wasn't going to college that i should go to the only factory in our town and start with a minimum wage job packing plastic bags in boxes they were a plastic bag company and she said you might be able to work your way up through that thanks ms canosa i'm glad you saw my potential we've all been there it's like really it was like college ah oh the dumb guy oh you know go pack minimum wage maybe you could be a line manager someday i mean literally come on but the reason i'm saying this is because eddie somewhere someone told you can we just say it like it is sometime in your life maybe multiple times someone told you you can't or that's not for you or it's not the right time or that's for other people and you didn't do it i could get emotional i don't know what maybe because i'm not feeling good i could literally cry i'm not kidding because how many times have you missed out on the man or the woman you're supposed to be because someone unqualified told you you should and the only reason i think i get emotional is because i was a millimeter away from not being this guy i was a millimeter away from believing what everybody told me you don't have great grades you don't have money you're not going to college you should just be happy with the life that someone else deals with you or dealt you rule number eight surround yourself with greatness hear me on that you must who we surround ourselves is who we become that's not my saying that's been around since the beginning of time it's a fact so who will you listen to learn from and who will you be persuaded by find those that are living life where you want to live and model it listen i'm not talking listen today i'm sharing what i've learned over 30 years of going after it i've failed miserably i've had an ulcer in my life i went through a divorce i've had panic attacks i've had anxiety attacks i went broke once all the way down to nothing how to sell the house i was living in but i've also found real love in my life i don't if if you guys follow me on instagram my wife and i don't have an instagram relationship i'm married to the love of my life i fall more in love every day my wife's here today when she came in today i i see her it's five years we've been together she walks in a room i feel like i'm 12 years old and i'm in love with my best friend i love being a dad i i live in the house of my dreams i get to fly on my own plane i get to do all this cool stuff i have 15 different companies but and and last year we fed 7 million people through feeding america last year we built two schools in africa last year i donated 600 000 of my own money to help kids in slavery through operation underground railroad and that's only some of the things we've done i don't say that to brag i say that because that was a kid who lived in a trailer park who lived in a bathroom with his dad who didn't go past high school who got made fun of who had parents who struggled terribly i'm not saying look what i've done magic i'm just saying what's possible when you shift the outcome when you decide to follow people who've already done it model people that if you want to play great tennis i don't care if your aunt edna watched every tennis match for the last 40 years if she's never played never won never failed you can't take advice from aunt edna you could give her a kiss and bring her some flowers and go find someone who used to play tennis or plays tennis better than you and let them raise your bar raise your bar raise your standards raise what you're willing to accept for yourself and for your family rule number nine focus on the fix how many people in your life you know are still stuck on the thing that went wrong they started the business started a real estate business in 06 and then the economy shifted that burned him never again will i go in business had a relationship in 2014 and that bastard cheated on me never again with men they're all pigs right which a lot of them are i get it i'm not sticking up for bad men or anyone bad right my whole point is sometimes when things go sideways we focus on why the hell it happened how could he do that we started that partnership and he robbed the money we started doing business together and she didn't stick to her she didn't stick to her you know what she promised and what happens is our brain wants to focus on why it happened whose fault and it could happen again you can't succeed that way you have to train your brain to say that sucks and i'm sorry if any of those things happen to you but what did i learn from it and i gotta move on i gotta focus on solutions what i taught my kid my son brody needs this help more than any anybody and i remind them all the time i call it focus on the fix when something goes off with my son he really wants to analyze it and think about it and and like almost get sad over it and i'm trying to slowly and through the years he's 13 now and he's way better is focus on the fix it happened it went sideways like i know this sounds crazy but it's like if you spill a glass of milk you could say damn why did that spill somebody put it on the carpet it's older milk it's going to get in it's going to make make it smell why would someone put it there is the floor uneven you can do all those things or you can go get a towel and a new glass of milk when people let you down it goes sideways and what if that failure is nothing more than something you needed so you could be stronger have you ever met anybody super successful that didn't go through hell to get there i haven't have you ever met anybody with an amazing incredible love passion-filled relationship that didn't go through hell prior i don't know or didn't go through some tough times to figure it out i am married to the love of my life i do have the best relationship of i mean it's unbelievable i have but i also messed up a previous relationship and felt pain and went through a divorce i had to go through that to figure that out i'm sorry i had to i hope so many of you didn't have to but i did it's the same thing here what if that problem that that thing that went wrong the spilled milk is just part of your puzzle pieces and paraphrasing and taking from my friend tony is what if life happened for us not to us remember the little things are the big things and what do i mean by that we set these big resolutions but what we're doing today is we're going upstream to anchor in all these little knobs these little you know they say uh small hinges swing a big door what we're talking about these bullet points that i'm giving you today every thank you diane for writing that down the little things are the big things that's all i'm giving you these little ships that you go oh that i can't believe that you know what i'm gonna focus on how to fix this what can i learn from it and how can i can i fix it you know something happens you go ah you know i'll wait you know i've hesitated in the past i'm not gonna hesitate anymore i'm gonna be bold i'm gonna do it anyway i'm gonna do it anyway right these little things are the big things so the reason i did that is what routines what disciplines what morning routines what focus time do you need what creative time do you need what prac practicing personal growth listening to it setting yourself up daily for a win what little things can you do that move the needle in a big way right what is the art of kaizen how do you run a thousand mile race one step at a time how do you make your goals stick in 2022 one little piece at a time what little routines can you shift what morning habits can you shift and rule number 10 the last one before some very special bonus clips is make an impact make an impact and that's what i consider being success success isn't just the money you know i have to tell you and do you mind if i share i hope i hope you don't think i'm bragging i don't tell anybody i don't take pictures but 10 years ago 10 or 12 years ago i got invited by somebody now maybe 15 years ago i got invited to go on a private plane i don't know i honestly don't know how long ago it could have been 20 years ago and it was something that was really wealthy and i was i i'm like i came from a kid it was in a trailer park and i was already in business i was already doing well but nothing like that and i flew on this plane and it was like you just drive your car to the plane you drive right out on the tarmac i'm in shock you get out of your car you take three steps you walk up into the plane it takes off you land and when you land your rental car is waiting at the bottom of the steps i'm like holy crap this is unbelievable there's food on the plane there's a bathroom on the plane it's like this is ridiculous this can't be possible and i remembered that plane and i remember thinking to myself i'm buying one of these someday i'm going to buy it after i hit certain criteria after i saved enough after i gave enough away i'm buying one of these and i've chartered since then i've probably phone phone mostly private i don't know 10 years i don't i never talk you never hear me talk about this look at this some of us some of you i have a relationship with for seven to ten years never shared this because i don't that's why i don't want you to respect me because i got a big house and a plane i want you to respect me for my heart my feeling and how i got here that's what i hope i hope i share that with you guys you see a lot of people go on your facebook right now i guarantee there's somebody holding the half a million bucks in their hand and someone else in front of their lamborghini and someone else showing off their watch right you never see that with me i wear pretty much a gray t-shirt today it's a very special day i have a greenish gray shirt on it's a special day right here i digress i was on that plane probably 15 18 years ago i bought that plane a year ago but was it easy no have i failed miserably yes have i doubted myself absolutely have i felt like an imposter more than you'll ever know or ever believe but it's possible the only thing is we have to stay in the game we have to find what drives us we have to keep moving forward we have to say to ourselves again i know so i see so many incredible people on here i know the success you've had this isn't about you not having success success up until now it's about me hopefully helping you get to that next level of success and listen i'm at a place where i don't like yes i have a plane i have the i have a beautiful home but i'm not flashy i don't i drive a ford pickup truck by the way guys if you lived in arizona and you saw me at a red light i drive a white ford f-150 every day i do not have any other car i don't have motorcycles i don't buy watches i have a really nice watch on my wrist right now if you know watches it's one of the nicest watches out there it was a present from tony robbins from all the work we do together or else i'd have a simple little watch or not wear one at all so i'm really simple in some areas and then i get to do the things that i want but i wouldn't do any of those things that i want unless i could give at the level i want to give last year i donated more to charity than ever before in my life you have a dream you have a desire and when you're a certain age you stop that dream maybe you got serious about a job and people put their arm around you and said you're finally growing up i appreciate your responsibility really i just threw my dreams in the toilet and you want to say you're proud of me but it anchored that in oh that's the right thing my parents my friends my teachers one more time screw that they did it because they thought they were caring and loving you and that's not it you have to push past the fear listen i don't i don't like to always use me as an example let me just share matt larson my top real estate students didn't go to college got actually got thrown out of college tried one semester they threw him out didn't have any money grew up on a farm that not his farm his father managed another farm in a little tiny rented place worked on a farm went to be a machine shop worker worked 70 hours a week in a machine shop lived in a 300 square foot apartment did all the stuff i'm telling you got my courses spent a lot of money on his education and his family came to him and said are you crazy real estate's for rich people you'll never be able to do it his girlfriend broke up with him because he spent lots of money on the education said you're a dreamer and he was right he called us to literally give everything back and we said did you even try he's like no but but all stories all fear all we said is please go try it that was like 3 500 real estate deals ago millions of dollars generated lives change he's a partner of mine he's a great dude he went to a whole nother level he employs 70 people do you know what almost killed him was the fear of believing all the for lack of better word he was told all those years it wasn't the real estate skills it wasn't the real estate market it didn't mean that he wasn't because he didn't go to college and he didn't have money or he was in too small of a town or too big of a city or too hot of a market or there's no good deals or banded signs.org had nothing to do with that he almost quit because of the fear of breaking through of listening to all the crap what about you anything like that close ever happened to you of course it has you might be thinking it right now dean you want me to write down what i'm good at you want me to write down what i like to do that's not going to make me money that's not true completely not true i i was i had dyslexia i barely got out of high school i was a car mechanic in my 20s every day greasy hands and painting cars and sucking in fumes if somebody would have said yeah that car mechanic in there that's all dirty with his mechanic outfit on he's going to write multiple new york times best-selling books he's going to be best friends with tony robbins and richard branson he's going to touch the lives of millions of people you see that guy no wait a minute you're talking that guy over there the one sucking paint fumes painting inside the car never right so don't tell me wherever you are you can't go to where you want to go i'm giving you the keys i'm giving you the principles i wish i wish i wish i wish someone would have told me this stuff earlier on it doesn't matter if you're 20 40 60 80 or 90 today's the day you could start today's the day you could break through that fear today's the day you can realize what my vision is and how i can start saying no to stuff so i can work on my unique ability so i can go to that next level do you want to know one of the biggest secrets to sales in our world today right now where i i believe where we're at is authenticity people just want to know what's real what's raw and they want it from your heart if you think about the people that you've connected with in your life remember this phrase people will buy from you say yes to you when they feel understood not just when they understand you don't you listen to that again people will buy from you say yes to you when they feel understood not just when they understand you let's take let's take an example then i'm going to circle back around with authenticity so i'm going to park authenticity put a pin in it and come back to it but think about this think about let's just say the quintessential sales area is used cars or new cars and i know that world is changing but let's just talk about uh the way it was for the last 100 years 50 years saturday afternoon your car shopping you pull into the dealership there's 10 dealers waiting in the window waiting for you to come in you pull up one of them gets a high five your turn go go chat with the guy in the tesla or whatever right now think about this scenario same scenario person comes up and says hey glad glad you're here today nice saturday right hey listen i just wanted to let you know i've been selling these cars for 27 years i know i'm inside and out i've been voted the top sales guy 14 months out of the last five years and it's because i care about the client this is what i do and i can see you're here today and you'd love us a sporty car but let me guess you want something that's a little good on the gas maybe eco-friendly so you can do your part i got this amazing two-seater it's fast it's eco-friendly it's this it's that let's go take a look at now that's a sales guy that could make a job for 27 years and he wants you to understand him but what if you went there that day because you want you just had your third child and you want your wife to have something that's not a minivan but the big suvs are too clunky you're just looking for something in the middle nothing even close now that same sales person wants you to understand him what if there's a sales person that comes out and you see him walking over to you and you're like oh [ __ ] here comes this sales guy you roll down your window or you get out and he says hey listen first off i know it's a saturday we all work on commissions authenticity transparency we all work on commissions it's my turn up i gotta i get you but i just want to tell you let me just back up i just want to ask why are you here today what's your family like what uh how can i serve you tell me a little bit about you and all of a sudden the person says wow immediately who do you have rapport with immediately sales guy number two because he wanted he wants you to feel understood and probably not on purpose that's just who he is all of a sudden you go well we had our third kid and you oh my god i'm on my fourth i get it my wife hated the minivan when i thought about bringing it to her house she was like are you crazy but then i looked at the monster escalating she's that's a bus but we figured out something in between would you be open to something kind of in the middle it's kind of like the sporty uh smaller suv all of a sudden you're laughing high-fiving talking about the names of your kids what's going on in school playing softball or baseball and what they do and all of a sudden you're sitting in the car going he's a good guy and what did he do most of the time he listened he was authentic he was transparent you cannot create your compelling future until you decide what your painful future is because this will get you this is once you get around here now all of a sudden you're going up the loop like you projected if i don't do crap i'll be stuck right here but now that i felt that way what would be ideal what would be ideal what's a compelling future for you for me in my relationship tony i'm going to give my credit to my boy tony i've done all these things before but he made me do it in front of him maybe go in the other room and do it i took a piece of paper when it comes to relationships i made a line down the middle and i put on the left side what was an absolute must in the next relationship i have and on the right side i put absolute unacceptable and i literally wrote down things that and i'm just being honest i i wrote down everything i wrote down someone who loves my children i know this would be hard someone who will love my children as if their own someone who works on their personal growth someone who's a go-getter someone who knows that we're flawed and we're all trying to get better i just wrote down all these things that i was looking for seemed like it was too good to be true and i put what was not acceptable someone doesn't have a big heart someone won't accept my children someone wants to fight with my ex or fight with other people someone who likes confrontation i won't accept anyone who doesn't you know want to work on their health and their growth i wrote all this stuff down seemed crazy it was my compelling future i stared at it and i looked at it and i felt so good and it gave me my true north i projected being alone and staying the way i was and i also wrote down a compelling future i write down a compelling future in my business all the time i do things the way i want to do i want to make my own rules i don't want anybody to tell me how what kind of husband i can be if i want to take off the mill a day and romance my wife because we have the most amazing relationship in the world that might sound boring to you or that sounds ugh but that's me i will fight for that i will die for that that is my why being a leader to my incredible team that's like my family learning and growing and help impact the world help unite us unlock arms so we can help shift the world how do we change the global economy by changing the economy in our homes how do we change the global conversation by changing the conversation in our homes we are the change we affect the change no one's coming to fix it to me that's my why i hope you can hear it i hope you can feel it it comes from my heart so when i'm standing on one side of the ravine and i see where i want to go on the other before i even know how i'm gonna get in there i know my why and i'm getting over there no matter what if i gotta get bloody bruised up fail whatever it takes i'm getting to the other side are you do you know the true reason why you're listening to this why you want another level if you don't go find it i promise you when you find it nothing will stop you not a brick wall not a steel girder not dirt a mount nothing a mountain won't stop you when you know your true why i just told a story to a dear friend of mine that i haven't shared in ages and i always i look back at this story it's the first time i ever made a million dollars i was in my 20s it was on a real estate deal and i say that now a million dollars to me then might as well been 200 billion dollars um but i look back and i wonder if i would be as creative and as hungry now as i was when i did that deal because here's what i know is a lot of times being successful has a lot to do with being naive or not been told being told been told no to where you start believing what other people say to not of watching the news for years so you just want to play small or listen to people tell you how now this isn't the right time not the right president you know all these things in life these outside influences outside game affects the inner game it makes you play small without even realizing like every year you just start playing smaller and smaller well i was in my early 20s had no money i mean when i say no money nothing right just working hard i was hustling cars i was fixing wrecked cars and selling them and this piece of property came for sale um well it actually wasn't for sale it came for sale because i became friends with the owner his name was mark miller he's a famous artist and he owned 28 acres of vineyards because he owned a winery and there was an old vineyard had the grapevine still in it but the weeds had grown up and everybody stayed away from this property because he wanted a hundred and eighty thousand dollars and all the neighbors got so used to the property being vacant that one guy shot his bow and hour he practiced uh uh you know his hour for archery hunting he practiced on the property another guy had his four-wheeler trail through the whole thing another guy there was a barn on the property one of the neighbors kind of adopted the barn because it was kind of vacant no one was around so he kind of adopted the barn and used it and to him it was his and the other guy up on the hill just wanted complete privacy he didn't want anybody building next to him that's that's in real estate we call it not in my backyard i could build a house but i don't want anybody building in my backyard right so everybody stayed away from this property and plus he was asking maybe a little bit too much but mark miller and i the gentleman on the property became friends and i made a deal with him to give him 90 000 up front and 90 000 um in two years or a year or something like that and i was going to subdivide this property so i didn't have the 90 grand back then and i told this story prior to one of my uh clients and friend lent me the money to buy the property i made him a partner on it um so i went to mark miller i locked up the property and i go through the s now i'm sharing this story specifically take the lessons out of it is one of it was being naive and one of his and i put this in my first real estate course which was called think a little different because i want to encourage you to think outside the box life paints you inside life is forcing you in at all times we go to school and they they give us time frames and buzzers and bells and and don't talk to anybody else and sit in your square sit in your in your world don't stray out don't i mean in in business if you don't collaborate with others you die but in school if you do it's called cheating makes zero sense to me it's like the world is designed to put you in the box and the only people who make it to live at their full potential the ones who break out of the box so i'm sharing this story because being naive being young and being freaking hungry i mean i was hungry for another level there was nobody telling me no made this a million dollar deal so by the property i start going through the subdivision process and i'm beg bar and steal i'm hustling cars during the day to use the money to pay for this subdivision i have engineers and architects and now i got to lay out the road i'm learning all this stuff about a big subdivision it's called a major subdivision i had done a minor subdivision which was like three lots or four lots or less so now i'm doing a major and all of a sudden it starts i go to the first planning board meeting and all the neighbors show up and they're just like like like i like i murdered their children for lack of a better word they just would despise me and i'm like wow how am i gonna and you gotta realize in business one person upset can stop or cause you years and i didn't have the money to to drag this thing out for years and fight the neighbors and all that kind of stuff so they go and one of the guys name was wade sargent his mother and my mother were best friends growing up so wade was still there fighting me he didn't want this subdivision to go in his backyard so i walked to wade's house one day this is being hungry this is being not afraid to go after your dreams not taking no as an answer when's the last time you gave up too easy and someone else got their dreams maybe with your idea so i knock on wade's door and there was wade sergeant i said hey wade what's up idea it was kind of like you're my friend but you're trying to ruin my backyard uh so i said wade listen i'm gonna make that subdivision happen it might take me longer everybody can fight me i'm gonna make it happen i don't give up but how can i make you happy and what he told me changed everything he said well i just really don't want the road to go close to my backyard if i had a little buffer he said i've had a little buffer i'd be fine i'd support you i'm like well by buffer you mean if i sold you a piece of that property you'd be happy he said yeah would you do that i said heck yeah i'll take your money so i do a lot line revision not even a subdivision you don't have to know real estate to understand this i did a lot line revision and i gave him a half of an acre and he cut me a check like wow i went to all the neighbors the guy that was using the barn like it was his carved out an acre and sold him the barn the guy that wanted privacy i sold him four acres another guy wanted a two acre cushion next door neighbor wanted to sell some la i wanted to put a house for his uh daughter on his property someday i ended up selling over 250 000 worth of lot line revisions to the neighbors and all of them happy all of a sudden all of them from hating me everybody staying away from this property they all love me i was the guy going down the road they high-fived me they waved to me and then guess what then i subdivided the center piece of property and sold the center for over eight hundred thousand dollars brought in over a million dollars on this piece of property by making the neighbors happy now people much smarter than me developers in our town looked at that property told me i was crazy uh uh um rick a affuso his dad um told me because he had farmed that property when he was a kid and i respected him he was a great real estate developer in our little town and um he told me you paid 180 for that property you just lost your butt you didn't say but you just lost your ass he said and um i was like damn it maybe i did but they were all looking at it from inside the box i was desperate i was hungry i didn't take no for an answer and i looked at it completely different like the name of my first course think a little different where in your life right now are you inside the box and you don't realize it and you need to think a little different that's where change happens that's where innovation happens that's where breakthroughs happen that's when people go holy crap how did he do that how did she do that it's by not taking no for an answer not looking from looking at it through a set of glasses that everybody has everybody's got the same glasses on wear a different pair look at things differently go for it don't let the world talk you into to being complacent i'd love people to to really think about is their thoughts you have you ever read the untethered soul no and so you got to put it on your list it's a yeah i'm how about eckhart tolle the power now sure yeah you read that yes okay so an untethered soul is for me it's it's that and and so much more it's it's a great book um so i know if you had another question so i think so i i'll reframe that it's that one but if there's one specific question i'd love for people to say how do you be the observer of your thoughts and that's something do you yeah and that's something i would i would i always like this is because i've been obsessed with it for the last three years because i want to be the observer of thoughts immediately and i'm not there yet i want it to trigger because when you're having a bad day an angst day a stressful day you feel off or overwhelmed most the time it's just the thoughts we're having in that particular day and when you can look back and view those thoughts you can make a decision to throw them out or not let that spin you up or feel it for 10 minutes and then throw it out but when you leave them there they just linger and the more i've become aware of my thoughts the more i've evolved as a person so again i'm sitting here because my daughter you're probably bored to death on love you uh she's doing great over there i'm gonna tell a story about her i am trying to observe my thoughts as they happen so i don't know if she'll remember this but we were we were and i'm sharing this is my story but i want you to put yourself in these shoes this could be your husband your wife your kids your co-worker your partner people you do business with employer employees but we're at breakfast and breakfast is really important to our family we have breakfast every single day and and i cook for them most of the time and so we sit at breakfast and try to have conversations about gratitude and all this kind of stuff and my son brody was obsessed with these crayons and they were like these crazy colors they weren't red they were like aqua blue marine something so i'm sitting there using them and and i pull it out oh god this is a cool color and he names it i'm telling us for a reason so i pull out another he names all i was at 25 or 50 in that pack so he names all of them these big long names i'm like dude what an incredible gift i couldn't memorize these if i spent a month trying that's not my how my brain things but that's him he's this structured organized kid so brie she says to me i could do that so i don't know if you remember this one but she studied it and like five minutes late on the second one she didn't remember i'm like we're all blessed with different gifts i couldn't remember he does that but my daughter is the inventor she comes up with ideas that are real not not kid invention she's going to be a mate she's going to be the visionary my son's going to be the implementer if she ever read rocket fuel that's the two kids i have implementer and a visionary right so when she tried all of a sudden she got upset and started almost crying and she said because there's so much attention going to my son of course and she says dad it's because you spend more time with brody than me in the mornings and i remember just having the immediate thought that may have came from my dad or the way i was brought up and i said to her breed don't lie to me and don't lie to yourself that's not true i i work my butt off to be completely equal and you're telling yourself a lie it's not a good story and i went on this rant and she tucked it up she stopped tears she tucked up it was the first time ever that she left the house without kissing me goodbye ever and i'm like well she just got to learn that lesson yeah and she left for about a half hour and i like it hit me like a ton of bricks like i observed that thought i had and what i basically told my daughter is that i didn't give a [ __ ] about her feelings that it didn't matter how she felt right that dad was right tuck it down i said if she was married to a man and i watched her try to tell her husband about her feelings how she was feeling and he basically told her to shut up and tuck it down i'd have a talk with that dude right if he's married to my daughter and i treated my daughter that way i got in my car because i only because i'm sharing this because i practice trying to observe what's going on why am i feeling this way what is this thought i'm having step back look at it when i stepped back and looked at i knew i screwed up i drove to school 100 miles an hour even if you were right even if i was right now i might have been right that i keep equal time yes but i didn't acknowledge her feelings exactly i didn't acknowledge your feelings i mean that's the gift of selling it's not what people need it's what they want how they feel right so i told her her feelings i drove to her school 100 miles an hour you were at chapel remember i came and got you out of chapel i got her out of chapel and i walked her outside and i said dad screwed up i said i may have been right in context but i wasn't right and telling you your emotions mean something your feelings mean something and we had a great talk we hugged we kissed her and i had the best relationship in the world and and i left and i felt amazing and she felt amazing and i never would have caught that if i wasn't observing my thoughts so i say that story about my family my daughter who's sitting here right now but who who are you not you know what thoughts are clouding your judgment in a marriage or in a relationship or in your partnership or trying to get a raise or taking your life to another level whatever it is in your life most of the time it's those thoughts that are messing with us and if you can you can observe them you can adjust them and something i just always love saying is because it really affected me when i was young stop trying to get good at the things you suck at too i just i need to say that because it's the biggest lie we've ever been told it dings our confidence with i still can't read if i if i wrote you two sentences in an email half the words would light up misspelled and some of them are so bad that i try three different times to spell it and the computer can't even like if i could talk to maybe like idiots like what are you trying to say i have no freaking clue what you're saying and then i just put like good you know i completely related so but what it does is what let me just ask you watching or listening right now if you're if you work on something you suck at does it make you feel empowered does it make you feel like you wanna like me trying to do accounting like you could never do it it's not my personality so what i know about the most successful people on the planet including you ed you just got really great at a few things correct the things that light you up the things that inspire you and when that fire starts you can't stop it and eventually you'll pay someone to do the things you suck at maybe you can't afford that now but just don't don't let anybody give you a bill of goods on on working on the things trying to get better at what you're failing no just go get great at a few things yeah i wish i could debate you on that but i can't because i 100 agree do you ever have something where it immediately boiled your blood immediately made you made you feel pissed like like anger or adrenaline rushed through and not in a good way not positive adrenaline a lot of times that happens when you know someone took advantage of you you know sometimes that happens when people lie to you like blatantly lie to you or someone causes something when you knew it was gonna happen like please don't do that please don't do that they do it and it breaks or it changes or the relationship is over the business doesn't work or someone robs money from you i don't know maybe you're thinking right now maybe somebody took advantage of you by being unfaithful in the relationship yeah this is millionaire success habits podcast but all of these things lead to a successful life and that's why i want to share each and every one of you each and every one of you i want to share this with because we got to get it like this stuff's got to stick to us we don't get this by reading one book or what listening to one podcast or watching one video we gotta live this [ __ ] for lack of a better word we gotta stop screwing around we gotta implement this and be a part of our life so reason i'm sharing this this morning i bought a piece of property 20 something years ago i'll just tell you the story at 30 000 feet so i buy this property 20 probably 20 i don't know 24 years ago 26 years ago crazy long time ago i bought it with someone and since then they kind of bailed out little piece of property not millions of dollars smaller piece of property but anyway long story short they bailed out don't pay the taxes don't pay the insurance and then the so i've been paying it for years um now this has been 20 something years the property's been sitting there and i just had it for too long it's time to just i'm gonna unload it and sell it to a friend at a huge discount about a third of what i've paid for the taxes over the year and the insurance on the property right so i reach out to the uh half owner and all i said was hey you know what we got this property i'm selling it to a friend just so i have to pay the taxes on it if you want it you could surely have it take over the taxes um but i'm just going to dump it so could you sign off on it no reply no reply finally i get a reply this morning it's like well how much could i get out of it what kind of money could i get and after all these years of not saying anything and all these years of other circumstances where i went above and beyond for this person years and years ago to help out that's what i got now i'm literally in my car before i go and i'm looking at text messages just moments ago and i got furious like it hit me like maybe it's old feelings like maybe being picked on when i was little because i was small or or you know just something hit my ego something hit my brain i was pissed i'm like i wanted to reply back like what the f f do you mean like all that i've done paid all the taxes all the other things all i'm asking is to stop the bleeding or you could even have the property if you want it and that's the reply get not hey thanks for covering the taxes and insurance for all those years sorry i haven't brought anything up sorry i didn't contribute but guess what here's what i realized i got mad for probably that that something like that could have made me mad 20 years ago for a week i could have been about it i could have told my friends about it i said oh you don't believe what's happening to me so my first reply was a bit snarky like not super sarcastic i'm like well then i'm done you can have it i take the property i'll sign it off to you and i was i almost sent another one like what the f man like why would you and then i thought about it and i said the only person that's hurting is me i'm gonna film a bunch of videos today i'm at my studio i just pulled in my office i'm at my studio it's 8 24 am as i'm recording this for you and i'm gonna go in and film videos for three hours on a training that i freaking love it's going to be so awesome you guys i'll get access to it you'll see it and some new podcasts if i let that bug me that's going to screw up how i effect positively affect you if i let that bug me it's going to throw my day off if i let that bug me i'm going to not be the same dad to my kids when they come home from school today i'm not going to be the same person it's going to throw me off guess what the other person nothing's going to change for them the only person that's going to negatively impact by me getting pissed is me because can i make them act a different way am i am i in charge of their emotions am i in charge of the way they feel and i thought maybe they're going through something maybe they're financially strapped maybe they're fighting with their spouse or their loved ones and and i just sat this all happened literally in moments i'm sitting in the car ready to send a wise ass remark reply and i said if i send this only person is hurting me i'm going to be off today i won't shoot my videos i'll start thinking why would they do this to me i'm such a good guy in this situation i went over and above and and people take advantage of me then i'll start thinking who else has taken advantage of me and who else just screwed me over and why is that happening and is my accountant doing the right job is my secretary doing a good job that's the path we can go down am i perfect hell no i screw this [ __ ] up all the time but i just sat and i sat i erased the reply i was gonna send and i sent one back and said okay no worries i'll handle it um i hope things are well with you have a great day and best wishes on all you do and i sent it and it was done it was it was literally done the the anger i felt the didn't take an advantage feeling ahead it was all done it was out and it was gone and let me ask you what are you holding on to right now that's hindering your success you want millionaire success habits let go of the stuff that's holding you back let go of the stuff that builds resentment let go of the stuff that allows you not to trust anybody let go of the stuff that's stopping you from great relationships let go of the stuff that's stopping you from having a partnership let go of the stuff that keeps you afraid of going on and venturing out to do your own thing it's only hurting you there's probably not much i'm sharing today you haven't heard before you've read it in books you've heard it someplace you've watched a video or a podcast but what i'm going to ask you to do for the first time is actually listen and apply it and that's that's been my mission lately is like i know there's some of the things success principles are the same since the beginning of time but when is it time to stop being inspired stop just watching ed and start just doing what ed does like when is that time to stop looking for the next hit of a great podcast the next hit of watching tony or dean or ed or andy or somebody watching feeling good and then going back to the same routine what if this was the time what if this was the interview what if this was the moment you said i'm not just going to listen i'm going to start to do i remember in my own life when i started getting success i was working my guts out i was working on cars during the day i was working at real estate at night and then then one before i did my first like education course i was doing cars during the day real estate at night and send me alarm at five in the morning from five to like nine in the morning i'd work on trying to figure out how to write a course on how to do what i did in my life and how to be successful i was so confused i did all that and guess what i did that for years for years i'm just being honest i put in lots and lots of hours i had fun i enjoyed myself i played hard too but i put in a lot of time but then when it finally hit and i got a little momentum you know i heard a lot of my friends say oh you lucky bastard in fact i had a joke for a while made me think i had a joke for a while but when i try something new that's out of the norm which most people wouldn't try people either say oh you dean got lucky you lucky bastard or if i tried and failed it's like i knew that idiot wouldn't make it there's nothing in between and you know what awesome screw it i don't care i don't dislike my friends who said all that stuff i'm still friends with them some of them says fifth grade but they're going to look through life through a lens of they're satisfied with okay they're satisfied making okay money they're satisfied with okay relationship they're satisfied with being an okay parent they're satisfied with an okay career that doesn't light them up screw that i'm not satisfied with i'd rather fail miserably if i look back on my death bed would you you too let me ask you would you let him look back on your deathbed and be like hey you know what played it safe didn't go after anything but you know i lived an okay life [ __ ] that excuse my language i it just i felt like saying it and i said it and if you have someone younger listen i'm sorry i feel bad now but that's the emotion i feel and if you're listening to me if you're listening to my podcast then you feel the same way i just was having this girl a conversation with my girlfriend lisa and we were talking about uh the things that drive you and the things that um that want to be you know it's funny you say like i have so many different emotions at once but she comes from an amazing family just like you said your wife did yeah like amazing she has there's five siblings their parents are together they're on a text string every day they all talk every day like her phone's always blowing up and going off and it's always inspirational and they're they all support each other one just lost their job and their whole family's like well get together it's finally time you start your own business anyway and i'll build the website i'll give you the money like it's unbelievable what they do and i love both my parents my mom and dad are amazing but i didn't have that they split at three i was three when they split and i lived with mom and then dad and graham and they moved you know i moved 20 times by the time i was 19. right so all this insecurity so but again that was my journey made me the man i am so for me one of the things is that i don't have something to refer to to be a good dad my father's father physically abused all the kids they were some were sexually abused and his father did that i think i look at this long lineage of screwed up graziosis and i knew it was going to stop with me like my sister did it she's an amazing mother actually my nephew works for me incredible kids like the greatest kid you ever met she stopped it and i want to do the same thing so i'm always in like you and i when we talk later we'll probably just talk about being a parent because i love interviewing and talking to other great parents because i want to learn because i don't have a blueprint like i said lisa she's got the blueprint she grew up from it right so for me i want to be a better man and always want to continue to grow so i can set an example and change the way my kids see life and experience life i don't want to raise entitled brats that's the last thing this world needs um i want them to have hunger and drive and be good people and and one thing i'll share with you a dear friend of mine he's about 15 years older than me he said to me and he's done extremely well just extremely well and he said i think at the end of our lives when you're on your deathbed i don't think we'll ask any other question because you're a parent like me he says your dad like me i could see it because i think the question we're going to ask ourselves is did we do everything we could to give our kids the the tools to live a fulfilled life i said i mean because i don't think anything you won't say how many women did i sleep with how much money did i make how many buildings that i buy it'd be like wow did i give the kids and i said he said you'll be able to go off to the next place if you could say yes you did your best because but what if you can't say that and for me it's like that's all i think about it's like that's one of the things i i can't be the perfect i try i do everything i can to be a great dad just like you but fundamentally i want to give them the tools to be thriving adults and that's just one i mean yeah that i could talk about that i want to go conquer something right now thinking about that people will buy from you and learn from you when they feel understood not when they understand you do you hear that that's one of the biggest secrets to my success people will buy from you do business from you with you learn from you when they feel understood not when they understand you most people want to just vomit up all their experience vomit up on how good they are vomit up on how great their product is and you don't even know what the person on the other side is thinking think about that with salesman would you do you like a pushy salesman when you go to buy a car that comes out and says i've been doing this for 30 years i got this i got this experience this little baby be perfect for you it's fast it's quick it's it's a two-seater it's this this this and he doesn't realize you showed up because you want an suv because you have four kids like wouldn't have been better if you just walked out and said hey man out looking for a car what's up with your family what do you got going on and just listened people buy from you when they feel understood when there's a connection i listen to people all the time and they're always telling me their old story yeah you know they're just they live and they don't know a story and they don't know we don't know it but the just the concept of a story overall that we tell ourselves you talk you speak about that probably more eloquently than anybody that i've heard so just touch on the whole concept of the cognizance of the story we tell ourselves yeah so i think i mean even with me like i said i had to catch myself i was telling myself a story that maybe i should have stayed with the real estate brand maybe success there's so many people deluding it that haven't had the success they don't recognize the real thing like i i had all kinds of stories i'd look at people like god that guy seems like a scammer why has he got three million followers like i started telling myself stuff yeah and i felt bad and i wasn't having the momentum that i know how to create and then all of a sudden i changed that story and i said no i know what i want to do for people i'm the freaking best at it there's nobody better than me give me a year i'll be far surpassed and then they'll realize they're actually learning from someone who's done it and nothing changed god didn't come down the weather didn't change my bank account didn't change there's nothing changed except my story so so the part that i want to share is i did a uh i did an interview with a young kid casey adams yeah so casey so he asked me a great kid and he said hey man at the end maybe he asked you he said you were as a young kid there's a lot of young kids listening what would be the one thing that you would tell people and i'd never been asked that i and literally what just came out is that your thoughts lie to you and to question those thoughts because when i look back at what stalled me or almost had me fail or the people around me it had nothing to do with who's president whether you like the president or not if he's crazy or not the economy or your family your friends holding you down a job that takes too much time it's never any of that the only thing standing between you and your next level a better version of you not not being me not being not just a better version of the only thing and you might not believe me right now but i promise you someday you will the only thing standing between you and your next level better version of you is the story you tell yourself and why you can't get it that's it so good i mean i think about it i remember having a real estate deal when i was broke and it's a million dollar deal and i got four bucks in the bank number saying i'll never get this money i'll never and i never could and all of a sudden i'm like no screw that i'm getting this money and i would find it it didn't matter if i had to beg borrow steal you know some of the banks some on credit cards borrowing from this guy i'd make the deal happen when nothing else changed i didn't inherit money i didn't get smarter my iq didn't go up i didn't have a harvard education i just willed it by changing the story so i guess an easy way for you guys to think about right now if you talk about what you would where you would love to be it's a year from now it's the greatest year of your life and you'd love to be there i'd love to be you know working on my own on my own company i'd love to to launch my own company i'd like to have more time with my wife or my husband and my kids just say but and then fill in whatever that butt is that's usually your story but my boss keeps me my boss keeps me too busy but my wife doesn't support me but my family thinks i'm crazy but i'm not that smart but it takes money to make money that's your story that's the thing that's your anchor you're dragging across the desert flip that story and immediately that becomes the wind behind your sail i mean i don't want to oversimplify it but at this phase of my life it is oversimplified and i still run into it i will catch myself being in a [ __ ] space worried about something worried about some of my kids worrying about anything and i'm like why is this bugging me why is this oh because i'm telling myself lies i'm telling myself some stuff i change it and then i change in a second i screwed up in my marriage my ex screwed up we both screwed up we we admit our faults we admit where we ignored the wrong things we pushed things off so far it was too late by the time we wanted to fix it with all the good i've done with all the positivity i i messed up and and i can admit that and i hope that you can admit where we mess up we do but how do i honor those mistakes by never making them again i will never make the same mistakes i give my ex the most respect love i'm still her family she still got my back i still got hers we still are going to make sure the kids are first and i see another level of life for me and my kids beyond anything i could ever imagine if you know the product you have the service you have the love that you have the person you are if you know it's authentic it's real it's the best on the planet then you have to do everything in your power to get people to take action i say this all the time but the movie field of dreams with kevin costner years ago they said if you build it they will come they won't come they just won't there's outliers that every once in a while somebody builds something that goes viral but most of the time when you see a product that's working you see someone who's evolving through a company has a great relationship it's because they know how to be persuasive they know how to sell but i want to teach you two things today there are emotional buyers and there are logical buyers and if you are just attracting one or the other then you're doing everyone a disservice so think about an emotional purchase if you ever watched an infomercial if you ever bought that tiny little hose that is like this big it's a tight you know it could fit in your hand and when you plug it in and you turn the weave screw it on you turn the water on it gets 50 feet long right when you see something like that an emotional you make an emotional decision you got two minutes like that hose looks great and you buy it that's it that's an extreme example and maybe it sits in your garage you never use it i guarantee there are things in your life you bought making an emotional decision that's okay we need emotions to move us forward so some people are not i don't want to say this in a bad way but some people are rational buyers i'm an irrational buyer from the top looking down when i see something i like if i go buy a new car if i walk on the dealership i see the car but i like i want to leave there in 25 minutes with that car i'm irrational i'm emotional if i'm if i'm watching a video online or i'm at a live event and i see something i like there's zero i'm not waiting to research my heart tells me it's good my gut instinct tells me i'm good i'm buying it so i am an emotional irrational buyer but that's only a small percent of the world then i'm on the extreme of i'll do it right now i make quick decisions on the complete other extreme are buyers who have to be extremely logical that means if this sounds good this car looks good but i'm going to go home i'm going to research it i'm going to ask anybody i know if they have a car like that i'm going to go check the rating i'm going to see how many miles per gallon it gets i'm going to see if there's any flaws is there any recalls and some people will will just do that logical searching all the way so that's the extreme so what i want to share with you today is when you're selling anything when you're persuading someone it doesn't matter again if it's getting a promotion from your boss it's making more money it's selling your product or service i want you to think of of attracting and fulfilling both of them you need to get people emotional people don't make decisions without being emotional be connected feel moved have a feeling inside but then if you cover the logical part for those that want to overthink then you can really compound and exponentially grow your sales so for example this past weekend i was at an event and i spoke on stage and i offered a 16 000 mastermind incredible training worth every dime there were the irrational emotional buyers like me who took action immediately i would have taken action halfway through the presentation but then there were some people who waited until the second day and some people that are very logical waited until the third day last minute right before they walked out the door and the sales were about equal the emotional and the logical but here's the thing i want you to be careful of in your own life make sure you don't get so logical and need every eye dotted and every t crossed that you never make a decision you never pull the trigger every year like i'm gonna i should have i would have it's because you're you probably have beliefs from parents beliefs from teachers that you need to research that you need to look before you leave i have the i have the thoughts of jump out of the plane grow wings on the way down because he who hesitates loses so two things i want to share if you're selling if you want to fuel your company your life you want to persuade people remember some people make emotional some people make logical decisions merge the two together sales will increase in your own life don't get so logical that you missed out on amazing opportunities if you are listening to this podcast you're listening to other podcasts that motivate you give you capabilities to go faster quicker make more money have more freedom control in your life all those types of things but none of it listen to me listen to this clearly maybe for the first time in your life really hear me none of it is possible if your confidence is down so i want you to think about the things in your life that steal your confidence and remember when i say steal your confidence i don't mean that you have a hundred percent of confidence and you do something and you go to 20 or 10 percent i'm talking about when your confidence is off just five percent do you make smart decisions when your confidence is down do you go after the business do you ask for the money do you start the the website do you do you uh get the girl do you get the promotion do you ask your boss for a raise then when your confidence is down you that's when you start saying well maybe this is good enough maybe my relationship is good enough i should just be happy with what i got i should just be happy with the money i make screw that if you were happy you wouldn't be here you'd be doing something else right now besides listening or watching me so let's just face the facts where you are right now is not sufficient for you doesn't mean it's horrible but it's not enough and if you want to get to that next level you need to protect your confidence by any shape measure or form protect it so what are the things that dig your confidence i realized at an early early time it's probably been 10 years that watching the news for me when i watch the news and i see that it looks like the world is going to hell in a hand basket or what the president is saying today or what congress is saying or you listen to the left or the right or or people in the middle if you listen to all the gun violence and all like all the news does for me is make me question where the world is going in my next level so for 10 years now i've been on a news diet i don't watch the news i have no clue what's going on nor do i care it was the biggest transformation in my life i where i want to spend my time i want to spend time with my family the people i love my kids my team members they deserve the best of me they don't deserve dean 95 confidence they deserve a hundred percent and if i watch the news it it brings it down so i won't be the best team leader i won't be the best father i won't be the best man i can be i won't be the best uh inspiration for you so screw the news it dings my confidence it's out i've been on a news diet i challenge you to do the same thing for me i don't know about you but if if you have your phone i'm recording on my phone here i'm stopped now i can talk to you um but i don't know this is my wallet but if you ever look at your phone if it dings someone texts you or calls you and you look at you go oh should i answer this now should i answer it later to me that robs my confidence i don't want those people in my life i either have to set boundaries or have to push them out of my life listen let's just be honest stop feeling bad for other people stop dimming your glow stop talking about your aspirational next level stop fantasizing about your dreams in front of people because it may insult them or make them feel inferior or they may tell you you're a dreamer if that's the case push them out of your life or become teflon and don't listen to their people with unsuccessful businesses also take opinions from the wrong people they take advice from your parents advice from your friends after at a picnic advice from people who pretend they know what they're doing their co-workers if someone's not playing the game at the highest level possible do not listen to them if someone tried and failed don't listen to them because they only know how to do it wrong but people do all these things they focus their energy they want to make more money they focus their energy on the wrong on the wrong areas they focus on the products the color they focus on the logos they focus on the location or what their website should look like and all this obsessive stuff that means nothing at the end of the day they try to create something that people need and people don't buy something unless they want it and then when it's not working or before they launch they ask an unqualified person and then you wonder why your business doesn't work and you feel like you're stuck at a job or stuck in a business that's not paying you anything if you have your own business and you're working 40 60 80 hours a week and making less than you can in a job then you just built yourself a job you don't have your own business your next level of life lives on the other side of your biggest worry your biggest fear your biggest obstacle and i can only say it by going through it as i i'm repeating myself because i want to hammer this home face it deal with it fix it and watch how much you grow i can honestly say i'm in a place right now that i'm blessed that i went through it i'm a better version of me the mistakes i made i'll never make again and the next level of life is just an inch away from me [Music] because you made it this far in a video i want to celebrate you most people start and don't finish most people never actually follow through most people say they want something but they don't ever do the work to actually get it but you are different you are special believe nation you made it here all the way to the end and i love you so it's a special celebration if you put a hashtag believe down in the comments below on this video i will showcase you and celebrate you somewhere on the screen in a future video because you are awesome if you want to see the one-on-one i did recently with dean check out the video right there next to me i think you'll love it continue to believe and i'll see you there the world needs it let's do it we don't shift our mindset nothing changes let's break the internet again let's do it again