INBOUND Bold Talks: Peter Shankman "Nice Finishes First"

Key Takeaways

so I wrote nothing down either um I didn't even I don't have a power I don't I don't like not not that see an's PowerPoint rocks was mostly pictures um I've just always thought that if you put a lot of words on a PowerPoint and then show the PowerPoint while you're talking it ceases to become a PowerPoint and becomes um close captioning so I don't like PowerPoints so I didn't use them uh nor did I write anything down I just want to talk for a little bit um I'm in an interesting quandry and I'll I'll tell you what that's about and and and what that means for the past three years uh ever since I sold Harrow I've been working on a book which came out in April called nice companies finished first and it's true you know the nicer you are you business the more money you make and a lot of people used to say the nicer you are the more you get taken advantage of and I'm living proof that that is not the case the nicer you are the more money you make and I can give you countless stories about companies that are nice and how much money they make more than companies that suck and there are a lot of companies that suck we all know them um since I've been aligned in this new Venture where I'm launching it consultancy to help customer service I get tweets every day going hey Peter shankman you should send company XYZ your book because they suck um just this morning someone said can you I will pay you to send Comcast 50 copies of your book you know um you know and I I I tweeted this out last night the irony of as long as we're talking about cable companies I um Time Warner Cables app asked me to download an update to fix bugs uh yet I noticed that one of the bugs not fixed was the fact that in New York City I still can't see Showtime or CBS so I'm hoping they actually do fix that but so here's my quandry I like to believe that I'm very forward- facing and what you see is what you get and and I'm I'm a stand-up guy who doesn't lie so I tell people to be nice the quandry that I have is that I'm also a kid who was born and raised in New York City um in the public schools of Manhattan and grew up with the the you looking at attitude of New York City and two things happened that sort of pequ that and led me to this quandry the first one is that New York introduced City bike City bike for those who don't know is a bike sharing thing you guys have it here it's in many cities with the possible exception of getting rid of tokens in exchange for the metro card City bike is the greatest thing to hit New York in the past 40 years it is it is just amazing for for 75 bucks a year you get unlimited use of a bike in 45 minute blocks and there's nowhere in New York you can't go in 45 minutes the downside is is that you're still on the street with drivers of cars and trucks and if you let it get to you you will get to work or to where you're going very very angry because it doesn't matter that the light says bikes can go the truck driver who doesn't who is lacking two things English and a license doesn't care that you have the right of away he will go and you have to be aware to the point where and and and the irony of this is they put a little bell on the city bike so as you're getting crushed by the by the by the track you ding ding ding ding ding ding it's very it's peaceful so I went to a marine supply store and bought a ship air horn because the other thing people do in New York is they walk in the street more specifically they walk in the bike lane so what I started doing was biking down the street and I'd wait until two idiots were on their phone side by side covering up the bike lane I'd get a half a foot beat and they'd scatter and it was awesome but I realized that's not the person I wanted to be the problem that I have with being nice is that I also tend to get angry I let the idiot making the left turn bother me and it pisses me off for two hours okay or the person who's not looking on their phone I wait until they get right up in front of me as I'm walking down the street and go focus and they they move and then I'm like what an idiot you know or the person who bangs into you or the or the guy who who who has never you know been on a plane ever and what do you mean my belt so you know and stuck off the T I say why can't I use my just do take off the belt before I kill you when you travel a quarter million miles a year you get angry a lot and so I had this quandry had this impass it's good to be nice but if I'm running clear across O'Hara because my first United flight was late and my second one is early and I get on that plane and I'm incredibly winded and sweaty and gross and I have my bags there's no overhead space that it's hard to be nice because you're angry so the city bike was the first thing and that made me realize that I was too angry problem was I didn't know how to lose it until something else happen happened I had a photo up there if we could show it um I only have one photo no slides just a photo and it's not that one that's that's a I think I was angry that day that that's Jessa and Jessa was born about 13 weeks ago to my wife and I mostly to my wife um I I was I was quickly informed that when someone asked us how the how the delivery and the birth went I went it was easy I was I was informed that's not the right answer ever ever apparently she did 9 months of work my job took exactly 4 and a half seconds but there you go there you go there you go there you go so I've not been traveling a lot this summer and I was able to spend the last 13 weeks pretty much home most of the time while my wife took a month a couple months off them when she went back to work and I had the kid by myself and most recently my wife was in Prague on on business she works for Sachi and she was in Prague and um I was with the kid for five days and I was proud to report that when she came home the kid still had all its fingers and toes and you know I put in a new outfit every day and I did change it and it was healthy um we we survived for years before Purell and Dr Google we survived for years kids grew up we never wore helmets and as I was sitting with this kid on like day three of of being by myself with her I was looking at her and I just something had happened I an email someone pissed me off Gawker had written something about me whatever I don't know and I was all angry and angry and angry and apparently my my stream of litany stream of curses that I was saying to someone on the phone she thought it was funny and she cracked up and she did like one of those laugh she the most laughing baby i' ever seen and I'm I'm staring at her and I I turn I so I'm going to call you back and I hang up and I just watch her and I went this sucks and she went I went that guy's an she went and I went no one in New York can drive to it and I realized that the best way to be nice which ties into making lots of money because let's face it we're not here for the whole Karma thing we're here karma is nice but we're here to generate Revenue that's why you spent five days at a marketing conference for Christ day okay you want to know how to generate Revenue being nice generates revenue and the best possible way to be nice let it go let it go there will always be a customer there will always be a client there will always be someone who's an when we're that age we don't know that all we see is a guy making really funny faces and his head getting red Let It Go and you're talking to someone who when my assistant gets a Google alert on my name and we're in the same office she gets Google on my name and it's bad someone's written a bad story she comes over and without my knowing it she unplugs the router so I can't fire back whatever screw you that's a great whatever she actually unplugs the router so I'm disconnected and I can't send anything Let It Go things are going to happen every day you have two choices learn from it or let it piss you off mistakes that you make are only mistakes if you don't learn from them the number of mistakes I make made with Harrow countless it still was acquired the number of mistakes I make with this kid I hope or less but the best way to not make them anger is a waste of time there's a great movie The Thomas Crown Affair the second version uh with Pierce brazner where he has to sell one of his properties and someone says do you have any regrets about the way you played this and Thomas Crown looks up adjusts his tie in the way that that only pierce brazing can which is why he's my man crush and it says regret gentlemen is a waste of time as is gloating have you figured out what you're going to tell your board when they realize you paid 35 million more than anyone else was offering and he walks out the two things that can kill us the most are anger and not being humble so as you go back and you have wins and you have losses absorb them learn from them but don't waste time on the anger because if you look back to the majority of the mistakes you've made whether in public whether in private they come down to three things you were drunk you were high or you were angry let those go and the mistakes aren't mistakes they're learning experiences this kid at 13 weeks weeks old gave me the advice that's been lacking in my life for 41 years I'll close the story on the 6 a.m. am Trak for three and a half hour ride to come up here talk for 11 minutes and then get back on the am tr for a three and a half hour ride you so owe me and I'm sitting in the AM trck and it's the asella and it's the quiet car which means that by law I will sit next to the guy who's screaming his head off and sure enough that's exactly what happened he's on his cell phone he's not even masking the fact that he's you know some people in The Cho card they like no he's like I he had a presentation in Rhode Island to a bank and his stupid assistant that dumb was he was GNA fire the second he got back into the office his words didn't load his laptop with the PowerPoint and it was too big to email okay their Network wouldn't allow him to email it and he was going to show up and he was going to have no PowerPoint you stupid pack your resume I can't believe they hired you in the first place my initial reaction pre that and by the way never guys don't call your kid an it or that I've done it doesn't go over well my initial reaction pre that would have been dude other people on the train can you please shut up and he would have bristled and I would have bristled because we have penises and that's what you do and we would have stood up and we probably would have got into a fight or at least not a I would it would have been very uncomfortable instead I took a piece of paper and I wrote can I help passed it across them you watched his shoulders unclench I mean he would have been the worst poker player in the world you just watch cuz he thought it was going to be you know shut up said can I help what do you mean like you need a file right yeah but I can't email it sir have you ever heard of something called Dropbox no I want to show you how it works well like the Wi-Fi in this train sucks you ever heard of something called a myfi it's it's called a personal hot you know what it doesn't matter what it's called you've never heard of it but here's what we're going to do he had his file in six minutes he gave me his card if you ever need legal advice yeah I'm probably not going to take it from you but he made his meeting his assistant's probably not fired I chose to let it go and to be nice I wish you all the same thanks for listening