INBOUND Bold Talks: Alexandra Jamieson "Stepping into Stronger Female Leadership"

Key Takeaways

thank you hi have fun thanks so just telling everyone that I totally scrapped my talk and this is the only slide that I'm going to be using yes and I like that I I think of myself as the nice juicy filling in between ber and Amy Schumer and while I'm going to be energetically speaking to the women in the audience I am also speaking to and for the men in the audience and I love men I have my man in the audience Bob my fiance is here very excited he's talking tomorrow you should go see him too um I want to talk about why women in leadership as an idea is important what the problems are for more of us getting into leadership how we can honor the feminine and I'm going to take you through some exercises so you might want to put your stuff down it'll only take a minute for us to get to that point but you're going to be standing up I warn you um I was a professional vegan for quite a long time and towards the beginning of my professional veganism which by the way was the right Choice my body needed it it healed me it was fantastic and then at the beginning of this adventure into food and healing I met this guy I I picked him up in a bar I'll be honest and we fell in love and we ended up making a movie together called Supersize Me did anybody see Supersize Me Okay so I was the vegan Chef girlfriend in the background rolling her eyes as my then boyfriend ate nothing but McDonald's for a month and got very very sick and that movie allowed us you know it was like lightning in a bottle we went on Oprah we went to the Oscars it was fantastic and I became professionally vegan and wrote three vegan cookbooks and had this brand as a vegan expert worked great for me in my mid 20s then I got to my mid-30s and I don't know if anybody told you this but your body changes as you get older and I was also going through a divorce from said co-creator of super siiz me had a little boy uh a lot a lot of stress and I uh my body started to fall apart again so this diet that had helped me in my mid 20s was Now not working so well my hormones were a disaster I was exhausted I was anemic and I started craving meat yay yes we'll have bacon later um now in marketing I believe um they call what happened next a show where I had to thank God for bernee Brown's book Darren greatly it was literally my Bible as I was going through this struggle trying to come to terms with the fact that I was now secretly eating meat and Hawking my three vegan cookbooks but what I began to realize was that what I was hiding was a lot of food shame and body shame that what I needed as as just a human being had changed and that didn't make me a bad person and that I had to learn to listen to my body and this is where this whole next 8 minutes is going that when we listen to our bodies whether you're male or female or somewhere in between or outside of it doesn't matter your body is what makes you you and when I talk about women in leadership we have to address the the you know the weird gorilla elephant in the room that we're talking about physical and chemical differences that yes the female body is what makes female leadership different and sometimes complicated and we have to learn how to honor that and listen to it it so I'm going to ask you all to stand up as I talk with you I just want you all to do what I call the Wonder Woman pose now the reason why we're doing this it works for men and for women and you just want your chest a little bit out and your head a little bit raised we're going to do this for about 2 minutes and why we're doing this is because this is actually raising your testosterone for women that's especially powerful because and there's a whole Ted Talk on this I did not invent this but I use it and I share it with women especially because when we're in a leadership role or trying to step into leadership we have we have trouble with the balance between competence and confidence we're very competent we know what we're talking about we're smart we're skilled we have tools we have experience but we don't feel confident enough to interrupt to say our opinion to lead the charge so I recommend doing this Wonder Woman superhero pose for a couple of minutes before every meeting before every tough conversation um skip directly to chapter 8 in my book women food and desire to talk more about this but it also helps with the female libido which I also believe is a very powerful aspect of being a female leader it's really ackn ack knowledging and honoring all aspects of who you are all right we just hit two minutes perfect sit down I wish I could do a spit test and show you all and test your testosterone levels and show you how powerful that was but do that before you have your next meeting before you have your next big conversation you're going to stand up again in a minute so don't get your notes up now what was challenging for me changing my brand in full view of the world saying hey guys I'm no longer Regan and watching half of my newsletter list unsubscribe and having thousands of people flame me online lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of negative comments death threats because I was now eating meat to help heal my physical imbalances it's very challenging for us to be authentic when as women our number one secret shame as bernee brown pointed out yesterday is body and appearance shame so this helps us amarate that a little bit but how do we begin to actually listen to our bodies and feel that authenticity as Runa was so beautifully pointing out how do we how do we listen how do we be authentic what how do you hear this inside what's going on when we women one of our strengths is also our Achilles heel we're so good at figuring out what everybody else needs right we are psychic well we think we're psychic sometimes we are and sometimes we're just mind reading and going crazy places but we read the energy of a room so well we know what other people need before they need they know it themselves but all of that gets in the way of us hearing our own truth so I want to take you through another exercise go ahead and stand up again we're getting a little a little bit more Saucy I want you to put your hands on your hips we're just going to do a little figure eight with your hips and this is just loosening up this part of your body I know you guys are having to turn sideways I appreciate you playing it's okay you're doing great looks good we tend to hold a lot of tension right here all right we suck it in we don't want anything flapping over the side of anywhere but there's so much happening in here especially in the female body it's your digestive system it's your emotional brain your gut brain has as many neurotransmitters as your head the brain in your head does when we are tight there when we have this scourge of digestive issues IBS gluten intolerance leaky gut we have so much stress here we need to start loosening this part of our body up and stop hating and holding in our physical self so much helping to loosen up that physical shame that BR Brown was talking about it really takes getting into your body all right go ahead and sit down again thank you for playing along so how can we consistently check in with ourselves check in with our bodies listening to our Cravings might actually be one Avenue into it and that's what I go into further into this you know again women food and desire it's the book it's in the bookstore go get it it's awesome there you go listening to our bodies is actually done by listening to your cravings What does your body want and ber talks about this again in her new book Rising strong I feel like I'm Hawking her book more than I am mine that's okay um she talks about learning to sit with your emotions sit with your physical self as a way of being authentic well how do you do that how do you sit with and listen to I've tried meditation believe me I'm not that good at it sitting in silence just makes me crazy but I can listen to what my body is asking for that's why I I take people through a lot of physical exercises and I talk about play and pleasure a lot because we humans learn when we play when we can we take the Judgment out of it it's about having fun and being engaged and seeing what happens next it's like one big improv class so when you can be physically in your body and listen to yourself loosen up your gut a bit and really hear hear what your physical self is saying a gut feeling about someone nervous knots about something butterflies in your stomach that's all information that's all ways that your body is talking to you but again the feminine in leadership has been downplayed emotion in leadership listening to yourself which is your body has been downplayed and set aside I think it's time that we start listening more to that and honoring our cravings and following our desires even if it's for chocolate even if it's for the moocha frappa Lino at 3:00 every day whatever it is that you want get curious ask what is my body wanting right now why am I am I having an emotion am I nervous there seems to be no place for that in business in marketing but marketing is about story right it's about authenticity so we have to be able to do that for ourselves first if we're going to be able to do that for the company or the product that we represent I think as marketers as salespeople it's our responsibility to be solid in ourselves and honor what it is that we need so that we can honestly come to someone and say this is what I believe this is what I want do you want to engage with me about this and they believe you when you've done done that work when you've done that inquiry and you're way more attractive and interesting to be with and talk with and develop a relationship with when you have that confidence when you have that play and Sass in your energy people respond to it I'm so glad to have had a chance to talk with you all thank you so much your time