INBOUND Bold Talks: Jarrett Barrios "Mile: 25"

Key Takeaways

hi can you hear me in the back um hi um I don't do marketing except I do marketing I guess uh I'm though here to talk about uh kind of a personal hard moment uh the kind of moments that we remember for the rest of our lives I don't know if any of you have ever run a marathon perhaps in a weak moment uh or a Cavalier one you agreed uh to join a friend and uh didn't realize what you were agreeing to I didn't really realize what I was agreeing to um it started for me last October uh it was kind of innocent at first there was like this Four Mile or I can do a five mile run then I was doing eight miles on hills and 10 miles through blizzards I would dive into snow Banks and stuff my mouth with snow I would get so thirsty and then there was the you know the sweet goopy stuff the muscle heads at the gym would call nutrition um and when I started craving it I I knew it was all downhill uh from there before I knew it uh I was doing 20 M runs and um I couldn't quite actually believe the day I did 20 miles uh it was the day I won't forget it it was the day after my doctor told me I had a lump in my thyroid and that it had to come out I considered whether I'd keep doing the marathon at that point I'd been training six months he said to me you can still run thyroid cancer moves really slow when race day came the uh it was sort of this interesting experience team Red Cross there we were in these big pens that they kind of lift up and then you go kind of like cattle to the slaughter or Lemmings to the cliff uh after that you go over asphalts mile after mile of it you your iPod mile after mile little kids slapping you five mile after Mile Water stations Gatorade stations drunk college students ing you on sort of Mile after mile mile after mile of Red Cross first aid stations all 26 of them mile after mile don't get me wrong I'm not saying that um repetitiveness is bad it's actually kind of Zen when you run a marathon it's part of this whole mind over body experience this mini Inquisition that is a marathon it's just you breathing focused steady you by yourself and when the pain comes and it comes you remember what you learned in all those practice runs that your mind is controls your body and that you will finish for me a leg injury right at the end of March meant that I was going to be in pain a little bit sooner than most uh a lot of Advil helped uh but by mile 13 I was hurting and by mile 15 I was in a first aid station I stopped for a bit back on the road by mile 21 which is right about here I stopped or I didn't stop I I sort of was going and I was only going because of willpower I said to myself I don't think I'm going to make it uh much further my limping had gotten so bad that there were people along the side offering to carry me to an ambulance uh there were um I told myself well I'm at least going to make it to mile 23 because I had to meet Heidi there and I did something because at Mile 23 was Heidi I'd asked Heidi who had run several marathons before to meet me there to be my Bandit Runner a bandit somebody who runs without a number and to accompany me to the finish line and well at the time it sounded like a good idea but my left leg's pain was excruciating my right foot was a little bloody um every step I took was uh sort of extraordinary just because it brought me one or two feet closer to the Finish Line Heidi I said I am not gonna finish Heidi kind of looked at me you can see she's got that personality said Jarrett we're going to keep moving I'm going to tell you about my trip to Tanzania do you know how many rhinoceroses I saw and she drags me along down Beacon Street you know they're in dangered there we go through coolage Corner pretty soon I was Spellbound by her story of the serengetti down Beacon Street through aabon Circle Somewhere in Brooklyn my mind had stopped believing I would finish this race and it was Heidi's job to get my mind from telling that to my body cross Kenmore Square The Socks game had just gotten out people were still sort of trailing out to their cars it was about 2:48 p.m. 6 blocks from the Finish Line my years in cross country had trained me as I went under the Charles gate uh bridge I was approaching that underpass under Massachusetts Avenue that for those of you that know the area and I knew it was time for my kick I started to speed up Heidi smiled we were going to finish the race as I began to speed up waving at me were all these people in yellow shirts yelling things I was confused what what was all I could say I kept moving forward until I literally ran into the mass of other runners in front of me they had pulled these impromptu barriers across Massachusetts Avenue so that we couldn't pass there was nothing that made sense about it Jarrett Heidi said to me we're going to wait for a minute right here then there were the rumors a building exploded something collapsed near the Finish Line no no it was a bomb I became aware in that moment of the Keen sound of ambulances the Finish Line was so close my body wasn't listening I pushed past the barrier all across the runners I crossed Mass Avenue there was a policeman saying something to me waving at me I couldn't understand him he's saying something about a bomb I was so close Javier my older son was waiting for me at the Finish Line I had to tell the policeman that I had to tell him he would understand there was a bomb I knew that he would understand that Javier was waiting for me and it wasn't just Javier three of my dear friends who I worked with were right there too what I didn't know what I couldn't know then was that Loretta I'm going to try this pointer Loretta and Valerie up there and Joyce from The New York Times photo they'd all made it out okay but all I knew at the time was that ambulances were blaring and I was standing with nothing to do on kav Heidi found a marathon party in a brownstone that wasn't much of a party at that point she guided me in she asked can we use your phone the guy said well you know our cells are all down but maybe you want to try texting me to Heidi Javier Heidi to me Jarett call Javier this man is going to lend us his cell phone Javier I said finish line sa safe Heidi to me it's dead Jared let's try texting what's his number it's in my mind drew blank I have his phone number programmed into my cell phone I didn't know his number I didn't know his brother's number I didn't know my mother's number I couldn't think very clearly I did know that there were ambulances I couldn't think of anyone's number except one and it made me wince it was my ex-husband's number I knew his number but my fingers couldn't dial it all of the baseball games I had missed the family dinners that I had to bow out of because of work and now I'd lost my son at the finish line of the marathon and there were bombs I did dial him but his number had been changed I actually don't remember what I did next I had to call Heidi and she said Jarrett somebody handed us a Blackberry and we emailed people I thought to myself when she handed me the Blackberry people still use blackberries and so we emailed somebody everybody to call Javier if you had his number and to give him our number and he called and Javier was safe Javier was safe Loretta and Valerie were safe and before I knew it I was beyond the ambulances and thinking about what came next you see Red Cross responds to disasters large and small we were there on Marathon day our volunteers were on the scene in the minutes that followed we set up operation centers because we're in it for the Long Haul we had work to do that rest that day the rest of the week and in the weeks that followed the disperate response I knew would be getting into gear right then I don't know if any of you have ever faced that demon amid all the loss and the confusion and the hurt there's a need to do whatever it is that you do and in that moment the only thing that mattered for me was getting back to work everybody had been reported and safe Javier was fine I had to get to the office we were working and it turned out to be the largest Red Cross response here in Massachusetts since the Blizzard of 78 we immediately were feeding Runners Runners who had no place to go uh and First Responders in the weeks that followed we provided uh relief services to thousands we also provided mental health support there were folks there who would spontaneously show up on Boon Street where you're going to be tonight or at one of almost 80 Memorial Services where we were there to lend a hand emotional support and counseling in the immediate aftermath we fed thousands of Runners we helped them navigate their valuables get back home we cared for the criminal investigation teams and the First Responders and then in the days that followed we did a mental health awareness campaign Subways and shelters we worked with the city of Boston and established a family assistance center there we worked with family members of those who had been maimed those who had had family members who died to help them navigate the system how to get Victim Assistance where to go for Rehab how to put a ramp in your house how to get a placard because now you're family member was disabled now months later I'm actually going to hold that slide months later my limp is gone my thyroid is gone and the memory of this very good very bad day is starting to fade but I've never been prouder to be a Bostonian I've never been prouder to work with with the people who I do and what I do and as for the marathon as they say in Boston there's always next year and that's it [Applause]