WHAT TO EXPECT: THE 10 Emotional Stages of Quitting a Corporate Job

Key Takeaways

first day at work she makes diamonds I really need a coffee what is up everyone and welcome back to my channel my name is Vanessa Lau in today's video I really wanted to talk about the roller coaster ride that I've gone through the past three months ever since I actually know the past like year two years since I started my corporate job left it and now I'm doing this whole solopreneur part-time barista type of gig and so what really inspired me to do this video is I was working one morning at the coffee shop that I work at and there was a girl who ordered from me and she mentioned that she watches my videos and this girl I will mention her name in case she's not comfortable but you're watching this video you know who you are and we started having a conversation we started talking about the emotional stages and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with building that courage to leave your job and what happens after you leave that really inspired me to film this video because there's so much that I could say in terms of the emotional stages that someone might be going through the moment they start their new job to the moment they realize they don't like it too the moment that they resign and the moment that happens right after that and just a side note prior to creating this video I actually ran by these stages with a couple of my friends who have also left their corporate jobs and they find that it's quite accurate but it's not to say that what happened with me and what happened with my friends are going to be exactly what happens to you if you decide to leave your job and also I wanted to add that this is kind of more specific to someone who has left their job without another job lined up or without intention to going back to corporate life so with that being said I wanted to put that out there and I hope you guys enjoy the video so let's first talk about stage one the honeymoon phase this is the phase where you've signed your full-time offer you've anticipated for the moment where you start the first day at work you're dressed to the nines you're wearing your best pair of shoes you have an amazing attitude and you're just so grateful that you're there first day at work hashtag love my job please tag so grateful hashtag blessed during the honeymoon phase you walk around with your notebook you have your integration meetings with everyone on your team and you're literally a sponge you're soaking all of the information in you're typing or you're writing a [ __ ] ton of notes to the point where you're pretty much transcribing what everyone is telling you and you just want to tell everyone where you work the second stage is the try-hard phase this is the stage where no one's really treating you like a baby anymore and they're starting to give you real work and as you're getting all this real work you just want to go above and beyond you're willing to take on more projects than you can handle you just want to learn everything that there is to learn and you want to get as much feedback as possible so you can continually improve I'm sorry to interrupt you I'm wondering if I could take you out for a coffee I'm constantly trying to learn at this job would really like to know areas of opportunity that I have in order for me to grow in the company and take your job but at the same time during this tryhard phase you realize that you're really not the [ __ ] anymore and you're starting from the bottom all the work seems incredibly challenging and you're just ETA Belasco all the tasks that are given to you stage number 3 and that is denial and frustration the work isn't getting any easier hours aren't getting any shorter and you're starting to resent staying up late doing work all the time but you don't want to say anything because hashtag I love my job you're at this stage where it's starting to get extremely uncomfortable at your job and you're kind of doubting and you're kind of having second thoughts about whether or not this was the right path or you are not sure mix diamonds pressure makes diamonds pressure makes diamonds in this stage you're really in denial you know that things aren't good but you have a strong belief that it will get better and you realize it's definitely no longer the honeymoon stage Stage four which is basically anger and feeling very very jaded and what this means you have so much resentment for your job because it's not getting better and you're starting to feel frustrated you're starting to feel anger you're starting to complain almost every single day and you're also starting to become a person that you don't even recognize anymore hello hi do you want to go for a coffee I really need a coffee it's as if no one in this company understands what efficiency is and when you're in this stage it's probably one of the most frustrating and debilitating stages to be in and it's as if you have this cloud of negativity that's just circling around you and following you around whether that's at work after work when you wake up when you hang out with your friends it's as if work never really leaves your mind and you're at a spot where you are just feeling hopeless and in turn you turn that hopelessness into constant anger and resentment and this stage is probably the worst stage to be in Stage five which is basically fear at this stage you've already pretty much committed to resigning your job because of the frustration that you feel or because of the resentment that you feel and you are just ready for a stinking change but even though you're all talk to your colleagues or to your friends or to your mom or to your dad you're saying things like but when it actually comes to the moment or the night before where you actually have to hand in that letter of resignation you literally lose sleep over it and not to mention maybe even a week or a couple days leading up to that big moment where you hand in that resonation every meeting you go to you literally feel so guilty because you know that you're gonna be leaving soon and especially when you're in this fear stage you blow everything out of proportion what if she yells at me what if she slaps me in the face what if the company escorts me out can I even get a better job than this oh my god basically in a nutshell you are so scared to pull the plug but you do know that it's necessary in order for you to move forward and at this point you've pretty much told enough people that you're going to be doing it so you really can't back out the sixth stage is empowerment at this stage you've handed in your resignation letter and the moment you hand it in it's literally as if you feel your life has changed you feel like you were going this way and then because you handed in that letter you suddenly are going this way and you feel incredibly empowered that you you were able to take control of your life that you have taken ownership and that you have finally acted on the thing that you've been complaining about for months for years and it's a feeling that I personally will never forget pick up pick up pick up pick up I'm gonna tell you guess what guess what I could now onto stage seven and stage seven is awkwardness because you've handed in your two weeks you have two weeks left to work at that job and you just feel [ __ ] awkward you basically know that everyone is talking about you that your managers are talking about you that HR is talking about you and everyone is just shook that you actually actually made decision to pull the plug the rumors are starting to spread and you just don't really know how to handle it all not only this in this stage of awkwardness you are also responsible of wrapping up all of the projects that you had and train the person or leave transition documents for the person that will be replacing you so during this awkward stage it is quite sad and quite bittersweet to know that you'll be passing a lot of the big projects that you've been working on for years to someone else and just having that conversation with your team and talking with your manager it is quite bittersweet so as much as you have been complaining about your job the whole time or feeling miserable during these last two weeks you kind of do get a reality check of how much you've grown in the company and how much you appreciate your colleagues and how much you'll actually miss this place stage 8 and this is pure happiness you no longer work at this company you wake up Monday morning at 10 a.m. realizing that you don't have to go to work anymore you don't have to wear pants and you basically are a free man or a free woman that can do anything that they want that is one of the greatest feelings that you could get the moment after you quit your job is when you realize the freedom there is on the other side of sitting in a cubicle [Music] but of course this newfound freedom and this amazing happiness doesn't last long eventually the hype really dies down and that's what brings me to stage 9 which is loneliness and social pressure because during this stage as the hype has died down you're starting to feel kind of lonely that all of your friends are at work and you're kind of just on your own you have no one really to talk to from the hours of 9:00 to 5:00 and at the same time you start to kind of reflect back on your corporate life and you ask yourself was it really that bad cuz you really start to miss that feeling of having someone telling you what to do and you miss having that structure in your life because after you leave your job especially if you don't have another job lined up the world is truly your oyster and as much as you had anticipated this moment for so long it comes with its cons just like anything everything has a pro and a con and with freedom comes with lack of structure and it comes with not having any direction whatsoever of what to do in your life and that causes a lot of stress not only this the amount of social pressure that you receive after you leave your job is immense and really the main reason why you're questioning whether you made the right decision or not it's because everyone else around you is questioning you know sanneh fun gal I guess on DiMartino thoughts oh my god I can't do this you guys are Tomioka no I'm not hang on it doesn't make it better knowing that you don't really have anyone else to lean on in order to figure out your life you don't have a boss to talk to you don't have colleagues to talk to and it just becomes a really lonely journey and this brings me to my last stage stage 10 which is just basically adjustment and this is a stage that I'm in and this stage is basically where you've accepted the new normal the life that you have after corporate you basically erase everything that you've ever known in your life and you start over and you're okay with that you start to have new routines you start to have new you start to have new interests and during this adjustment phase you're basically relearning life you're taking courses you're reading books you're soul searching you're networking you finally start to have a little system in place that kind of keeps you sane and at this stage you've basically accepted the fact that your corporate job was a thing of the past it was a thing that happened to you and now you move forward once you hit this tenth stage of adjustment you no longer look at your corporate job with resentment and rather you look at it with a lot of appreciation you wouldn't necessarily go back to it but at the same time you are just grateful that you had that opportunity and now whose those skills and use those experiences to your advantage with whatever project that you might be pursuing and at this stage you basically have a better idea of the new path that you want to take and all your efforts are really concentrated on how you get yourself from point A to point B and working towards that new life that you strive for so guys that's it those are the ten stages that I've personally identified throughout my journey of starting a corporate job and then leaving it and then life after that and it's definitely a bumpy ride and it's not to say that this journey is linear it doesn't go 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 you could go from stage 5 then go back to stage 8 and then go back to stage 10 and then go back to stage 8 it kind of is truly a roller coaster but I wanted to make this video so that at least you have an idea of what to expect if you choose to leave your job and especially if you don't have a back-up one afterwards or if you are following a different path so as always thank you so so much for watching my video I truly truly from the bottom of my heart appreciate it and if you like my content please make sure to subscribe and with that being said I'll see you next week bye everyone [Music]