How to Write Your Personal Statement Essay

Key Takeaways

Hey everyone and welcome back to NP Station. It is officially college application season and I'm sure most of us here are trying to write the perfect personal statement essay. This is your opportunity to really showcase who you are beyond your grades, your activities, and school in general. And sometimes, you know, it can be pretty stressful. So, I thought I would make a video going over the structure of how you should write your personal statement essay. And I'll also be covering some common mistakes that you should avoid when writing and also before writing your essay. So, throughout this video, I'll be giving some examples to really give you a clear understanding of what you should do and what you shouldn't do when writing. So, let's get started. The personal statement essay is like your first real conversation with your admissions officer. They don't want to know what you've done. They want to see how you think, what your beliefs are, your values. So, it's really important to nail this essay because this is what sets you apart from the thousands of other applicants who are applying to the same colleges as you are, right? You could have the same SAT scores as thousands of other kids, the same GPA, but your personal statement essay is that specific story from your life that those thousands of other applicants would not have. Right? So, this is something that you really want to work a lot on and make sure that you're nailing the right concept and not just listing out the activities that you've done, which I will get back to later. So, let's go ahead and start off by talking about the structure and format of your essay. Okay, the first part is the hook. The hook of your essay is crucial in order to really grab the admissions officer's attention and make them want to read your essay. You don't want to start your essay off by some boring line like, "I love science." They're not going to really have the need to finish reading your essay, right? So, you want to grab their attention with this hook, which should be the first or second sentence of your essay. So, you could, for example, use a vivid image. An really great thing that you should think about when writing is you want to include the five senses. So, you want, for example, if you're telling the admissions officer a story about whatever event that happened, you want to make them feel like they're in that in your shoes. they're experiencing that story which you experienced. That way they're getting all the different perspectives, right? What they're seeing, what they're hearing, what they feel. So that way the admissions officer feels like they're included in your essay in the whole story. So starting off your essay with a vivid image, a story really grabs their attention. So, instead of saying, "I love science," you could say something specific about a time you were in your science lab, maybe when you were dissecting your first frog, right? That's a pretty cool experience that your admissions officer might want to read about. But again, you want to make this unique and authentic to yourself. So, don't go for the cliches. Make sure that you've actually experienced what you are talking about. And again, the hook, you've got to nail it. And I'll give you some examples on the screen like this one. Instead of saying I love science, you could say, "The first time I dissected a frog in seventh grade, I almost fainted." But that's also the moment I realized curiosity can be stronger than fear. So, as you can see from that example, it really hooks the reader into your essay, and that's exactly what you want. So, the next part of your essay is the development. Select the middle paragraphs. This is where you're adding the detail. You're building upon that hook that you made in the opening paragraph. So here, what you want to do is show growth, reflection, or maybe show how you overcame a specific challenge in your life. This is what the admissions officer is looking for. They're looking for your growth in a specific area. So you could focus on your intellectual growth, emotional growth. There's so many different types of aspects that you could look at and really dive into it. So, what I would really recommend is before you start writing, just make a document. I like to type it on my computer, but you could also, you know, write this down in a journal, but just brain dump all of your ideas that you have for your essay. Just write it down. And so, this way, you're really getting your thoughts flowing. And that's another um tip of mine which I experienced myself when I was writing is that you get ideas while you're writing. And that's how I came up with my personal statement essay idea is because when I was writing one of my drafts of my essay, I was like, "Oh, wait. This is actually another idea I could go into." So then I started a whole different essay on that idea. So make sure you're just writing. It will not help if you're just thinking in your head about what to write. I'm telling you, when you actually write down your ideas, that's when you'll get a perfect idea for your uh personal statement essay. So, really focus on a specific moment in your life, you want to like pick a specific story and zoom into that so you can really talk about the details and your growth in that area to the admissions officer. What I would also recommend is before you start writing these middle paragraphs, ask yourself what you want the admissions officer to take away from your essay. So for example, if you want them to learn that you are very traditional and you value your your culture, then write your essay based on answering that question. You want them to be able to take away a key aspect of your personality or whatever it is. So, make sure that you're answering that question while writing. And this could be about your personality, your values, and your beliefs. And finally, the reflection, which is your closing paragraph. This is where you bring it full circle. Now, you probably already know this from your English classes at school, but usually they want you to reword your opening line into your conclusion, right? So, that's kind of what you're doing, but you don't want to exactly copy paste what you wrote in the hook. Okay? What you want to do is not summarize. Do not summarize what you wrote. You want to connect your experience to a bigger picture. And so you really show the admissions officer what you're going to bring to that college. Now, bringing it back to that example I used with the science lab for the hook sentence. The way you could end that essay is that moment in the science lab taught me that discomfort is the start of discovery. A mindset I now carry into every challenge I face. So you can see by that sentence that I'm not summarizing all the details, the experience that I wrote about in the middle paragraphs instead of just bringing it full circle. Now you are going to have to add more to that. Now, I did mention earlier that you want the admissions officer to know what you're going to bring to their college, right? But that does not mean that you need to list out I'm hardworking. I'm persistent. I'm resilient. I'm smart. Don't say that. You want to again bring it full circle. Connect your experience to a bigger picture in a way that already shows the admissions officer what you'll bring to their college. Don't list out all of your characteristics and the traits that you have. You want them to be able to tell what those are by your conclusion. Okay, so that was basically my tips for your structure of your personal statement essay. I really hope that was helpful and if you do have questions, ask them in the comments below and I'll be more than happy to answer them. But now I want to move on to the common mistakes which you should avoid when writing your essay. The first thing is being too generic. You don't want to say things like, "I'm hardworking and I want to go to college to succeed." You want to show the admissions officer how you're hardworking. Right? So that's when you choose that specific story and then incorporate that idea into that story. So you can showcase your qualities like that. So don't be too generic. You want to add a lot of detail into your personal statement essay. The next mistake to avoid is listing your accomplishments. If you are applying on Common App, there is already an activity section where you can add up to 10 of your activities, extracurriculars, clubs that you attend at school. So, don't go writing and listing out all of your accomplishments in your essay. And that also includes awards because again, Common App has an awards section. So, they already have that information. And some colleges even ask for your resume which also gives that in a list format. So don't incorporate that into your essay. You want to talk about a story. You want to talk about a metaphor that relates to a specific event in your life. Just don't go and list out like I'm the president of NHS. I have done this in this club at school. Right? Just tell a story to your AO. The next mistake you should avoid is trying to impress the AO with big words. This is something I was doing with my first few drafts. What I would do is I would think of a word, but then I would Google synonyms to it that sounded like more professional, more formal. Don't do this. Your AO reads thousands of essays. They want to read an essay of yours that's authentic to you. But I also want to clarify that this doesn't mean that you should write your essay like you would type a text to your friend. It still should have some formalness to it. But again, don't stress on the fact that your vocab isn't that good. Make sure that your essay is still authentic to you. The final mistake that you should avoid is forgetting your reflection. A story without a reflection is just a story. You want to answer the question of what does this story reveal about me? And that's what you're going to do in your reflection, which is what I was talking about previously in this video for the closing paragraph. So, make sure you nail that reflection so the AO knows what you're going to bring to their college. So, I wanted to give you guys some more examples on opening sentences for your essays. So, here's an example of a weak opening. I have always loved helping people which is why I want to study medicine. So the problem with this sentence is that it's vague and it's also cliche. That is a thing that you should avoid in your essay which is probably something I should have added in my list. But avoiding cliches is a big thing. Um again this essay should be unique to you. Your AO is reading thousands of other essays and they want to read an essay that really stands out to them. You want to get accepted into that college, right? So, write an essay that's authentic to you. Now, here's an example of a stronger opening sentence. When I started volunteering at the local clinic, I thought I'd be filing papers. Instead, I found myself comforting a little boy who was terrified of getting a vaccine. So, why does this work? Well, it's personal. It's specific to an experience that you have experienced in life. And it also shows compassion, which is something the AO is looking for. So again, make sure your essay is unique to you. Write about a moment in your life that really changed your life. It could be like a turning point that you would read in a book, the climax. So you really want to pull those type of stories from your life and write about them in detail. And again, make sure to write your reflection cuz you want the AO to be able to take something away from your essay. So, I'm just going to end that by saying show don't tell. Your personal statement essay does not by any means need to be perfect on the first draft. People write 10 drafts of their personal statement essay before it's perfect. So, don't feel the pressure or stress of having to perfect it on the first draft because it takes a few tries to get it to really where you want it to be. So, again, don't stress about that. Focus on what's important to you in your life, your values, and your beliefs. Remember, the admissions officer isn't looking for the fanciest essay. They're looking for your voice. If you found this video to be helpful, please give it a big thumbs up and don't forget to subscribe to my channel. If you want more videos like this, click the subscribe button down below and also comment if you have any questions. But that's all for today. Keep reading, keep coding, and stay safe. [Music]