The Reason Most People are Unhappy

Key Takeaways

a couple years ago I traveled around the country with two guys named Josh and Ryan we were making a documentary and had one question we wanted answered how might your life be better with less in order to answer that question I wanted to speak with experts on neuroscience psychology and sociology what can our understanding of the human mind tell us about our compulsive drive to consume more importantly I wanted to know the root of what makes us unhappy just outside San Francisco we sat down with the author of Buddha's brain and hardwiring happiness dr. Rick Hansen it only took him one word to answer my first question what do you think is the biggest factor for most people's discontent greed the average lower middle class person in America lives better than louis xiv yet still even though we have a lot there's still this looking for something new to want and i wonder why is that i think of that as a kind of biologically based delusional craving that auto craving is a good strategy to keep animals alive including early human animals in really harsh conditions but these days today it creates a disconnect you're like a puppet whose strings are being pulled by mother nature and evolution reaching back tens of millions of years we still feel Restless we still are always scratching and clawing for that answer still sticks with me to this day being connected on the Internet and social media has made such a profound shift in the way people communicate build relationships and make a living but with all the amazing benefits comes the negative we're constantly comparing ourselves with others and seeing ads that explain why we won't be complete until we get this one thing so what can you do according to Rec humans have three basic needs safety satisfaction and connection when we check off and most importantly internalize all three things start to change when we register that our three coordinates are met and you really feel safe authentically saying when we really feel that there's an enoughness in our life in terms of our needs for satisfaction and when we really feel liked enough and loved enough and that where we have a good heart ourselves we're loving ourselves when we feel that the basis for craving for more more maximalism you know the basis for that falls away because you already feel deeply safe and alright right now in this moment you start feeling increasingly and unconditionally satisfied in this moment because you've repeatedly internalized experiences of satisfaction same way you start feeling increasingly related and so then you engage life on the basis of feeling already safe already satisfied already connected and when you do that you're much harder to manipulate with the ancient drumbeats of fear threat level orange this you know scalene invaders that your much harder to manipulate through consumerism because you already feel full you don't need to get that extra goodie to feel like you've got enough because you or even like you haven't known on the inside out knowing this truth alone won't change your life any massive change requires more than just understanding it takes a daily practice to remain mindful and grateful for the lives we have if you liked this video you might also like my podcast the ground up show I dive really deep into topics just like this with a diverse group of inspiring guests get it at ground up show calm thanks for watching