When Parents Live Through Their Children

So, you know, I once had a patient who was training for the Olympics, got pregnant, dropped out of college, and then when she had a daughter, she's going to make her daughter train for the Olympics. You ruined my life, you ruined my dreams, so you're going to fulfill my dreams in your life. I could have aborted you and I didn't, and this is what you owe me in return. This is a extreme example, but what do we see in that example? We see that this person does not have their own needs met. So, if this person is fulfilled and is encouraging her daughter to go to the Olympics, that's fine. There's a certain tenacity to the anima and animus problem. It is my fulfillment that I am getting through you. You are doing this work for me, you are my proxy, you are my agent, you are my projected image, I need you to live up to that projected image. I I've done all the mental gymnastics, all the blurring of my powers of discrimination that I can manage. I really need you to change because I gave up my own career, I need you to be number one. When I hang out with my friends and they have yachts and private jets, I'm tired of driving a Toyota Sienna. I want to drive a Bentley, so you need to get your ass on that. This was the deal. I need you to be this way.