Help HN: Does anyone need a programmer for the next two days?

I am in a bit of a tricky financial situation, and urgently need $300 by the next two days; no one I know is able to help me with this so I am reaching out to HN. In return I will do any sort of programming you require for the next 48 hours solid. I can do web development(Experience with Javascript[ Node Meteor] Python[Django], Php[My own frameworks, CakePHP, Codeignitor... etc]), Java, C#... Normally I would not post something like this but I am desperate. If you would like to know more email is in profile.